If you ever want to see me melt into a heap of quivering nostalgia, just watch me stumble upon a sun-soaked scene. I'll stop in my tracks and stare like a ruthless rubbernecker. The angelic appearance of a curly-headed backlit child. The golden glow of the calico cat perched atop my vintage couch. The filtered warmth of late-afternoon peeking through a table-top bouquet. The deepened quality taken on by a loved-one's sunlit eyes. The hilltops and valleys and fields, dotted with haystacks and attended by mist, the morning light casting an ethereal glow.Even a child who has challenged my patience can regain my motherly affection when early-evening rays of light peek through his tresses. I grab a camera. I stand in awe. I hold on so tightly to the memory that my heart aches. In my eyes, there's nothing as beautiful as a sun-soaked scene.
Just yesterday, I was warmed by the view of a sun-lit cornfield during my morning walk with Kim, the golden tassles practicially emitting their own light. Even my son's Heroscape game laid out strategically on the hickory coffee table took on a memorable beauty when hit by the light.
It's important to me, this light. I awake in the morning to its glow on my face. I can't help it. Once it hits me, my eyes pop open and the possibilities of a new day come streaming in on its beams. It brings to mind all kinds of cliches. A new dawn. Seeing things in a new light. Shedding light on the subject. And then there was light. You light up my life. Come on, baby, light my fire.
One of my favorite lyrics is by Pierce Pettis in his song recorded by Garth Brooks, "You Move Me."
You go whistling in the dark
Making light of it
Making light of it
And I follow with my heart
Laughing all the way
It's what I need. Someone to make Light of it. Someone to shed Light on the subject. Someone to Light up my life.
Because, while I stop in my tracks when I see the light reflected on those I love, I can also very certainly feel it when it's not there. A sadness envelopes me. It's not just that rainy day feeling again, because I do love a good rain, but when I go too long without the light, I feel at a loss. I start to lose my sense of purpose. Those I love lose that glint and glow. It's not that I love them any less; it's just that the breathtaking beauty eludes me.
I need to appreciate the sun, to take notice of it, to recognize its glow. Not worship that which is lit by it, but allow myself to be drawn to the source of the light and appreciate it, yet still see the beauty in all that it shines upon.
"Oh, how sweet the light of day, And how wonderful to live in the sunshine! Even if you live a long time, don't take a single day for granted. Take delight in each light-filled hour, Remembering that there will also be many dark days." Ecclisiastes 11:7
