Why do I have to make things so complicated?

I'm feeling much better today, thankyouverymuch. I took the advice of my dear Bo and made a goal for myself to simply accomplish three things, so I set my sites rather low and decided to:

~Wash all of the linens on my bed,
~Put away the clean laundry
~Eat something

These were completely do-able but still difficult tasks. I know, I know. It sounds horrible that a person would have a difficult time doing such simple things, but when I get into a funk, I have a tendency to spiral into avoidance of all things that are good for me. It's a rebellion, and I'm working hard to train myself to recognize it. Thank God for my husband who knows me and loves me who can give me advice that will help me climb up out of the abyss.

Once I had food in my system, something as simple as yogurt and granola (which I literally had to force myself to eat because I just didn't want to eat anything), I felt much better, but not good. After I stripped my bed of linens, I decided to vacuum my bedroom and clean my bathroom floor. That lead to cleaning the sink and toilet. Once I had begun to put away the clean clothes, I was inspired to wash more clothes. And from there, things got better. I still snapped at people, and I still felt like crying for most of the day, but it got better. It really did.

The point in my day when I most felt like crying was while I was driving to pick up the children from piano lessons. I asked the Lord for some wisdom, and then a song came on the radio that seemed to speak to me where I was. An unlikely source, but God spoke through Avril Lavigne :

Chill out whatcha yelling' for?
Lay back it's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
you will see
I like you the way you are
When we're drivin' in your car
and you're talking to me one on one but you become

Somebody else round everyone else
You're watching your back like you can't relax
You're tryin' to be cool--you look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why you have to go
and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting
like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
And you fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get
and you turn it into honesty
and promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it

Now, aside from the terrible grammar, there was a message here for me, as if spoken by God. Okay, so I don't know if God would tell me to "chill out," but the basic message is this: Be still. Be slow to anger. There is nothing new under the sun. Worrying will not add a day to your life. Forget piety.

But the part that perhaps spoke to me the loudest was the line about looking like a fool. A week ago, this may not have stood out to me, but on Sunday, our pastor gave a teaching about how fools don't understand the ways of God, how the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing. So, when I returned home, I did a quick word study on "fool." These verses hit home for me. Maybe they will for you, too.

Job 5:2 Resentment kills a fool, and envy slays the simple.

Psalm 107:17 Some became fools through their rebellious ways and suffered affliction because of their iniquities.

Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

Proverbs 1:32 For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them;

Proverbs 10:8 The wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin.

Proverbs 12:16 A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.

Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Proverbs 14:17 A quick-tempered man does foolish things

Proverbs 18:2 A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.

Proverbs 20:3 It is to a man's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.

Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.

Proverbs 29:11 A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

1 Corinthians 1:18 For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are
perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

1 Corinthians 1:25 For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the
weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.

1 Corinthians 1:27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.

1 Corinthians 2:14 The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.

I don't know about you, but I've been a fool many times these past few weeks.

Sometimes, though, it takes someone who has their head on straight to pull you out of your foolishness. For me, that person was Bard. She came to me and asked if I would like her to make lunch. Deep in my funk, I said, "Yes. Please." I didn't know what she would make, and I don't think she did either, initially, but after a while I could smell wonderful wafts of basil and pasta cooking and I knew that she had something good going on.

When she called me to dinner, I was very ready to eat. In the kitchen, I found that she had placed a new tablecloth on the table, used the good dishes, and served me grape juice in a wine glass. The fare was fantastic! Homemade three-cheese lasagna with fresh basil (from our summer garden, pulled from the freezer) accompanied by hot garlic bread.

We all enjoyed a wonderful meal, and I find myself truly blessed.

Thanks for all of your thoughts and kind words and prayers.