B is for...

Babies: five of them. The first two were born in hospitals and, when I realized I didn't want to do that again, the last three were born at home with a midwife.

Back: My mom always used to complain about her back hurting, and I thought she was such a wimp. Now my back hurts, and I think I'm such a wimp.

Bacon: Is it so difficult to make bacon without nitrates? I've looked everywhere and can only find one source for good nitrate-free bacon. It's expensive, but we only buy it once in a great while for BLTs or Bacon Onion Quiche. I should just raise my own hog.

Baggage: I have too much of it.

Baggy: Growing up, I always wore baggy clothes because I thought it was modest. Now I wear baggy clothes because they fit.

Baking: It's zucchini season, so I've been baking zucchini bread and zucchini cake, which I put in the freezer for a quick breakfast as the year gets crazy. I enjoy baking most times, but it would be easier if I had central air. :-)

Balance: For years, I tried to find the balances in life--the balance between quality time with my kids and cleaning my house, the balance between creative time and productive time, the balance between that would bring more good days and fewer bad days. I've come to realize that there is no balance. Life is an ever-pendulouse ebb and flow and I must simply hang on.

Ballad: When I was a child, the most tragic songs I ever heard were, "I'll Be True to You," "Seasons in the Sun," "One Tin Soldier" and "Wildfire." I was so very much a child drawn to stories of tragedy; these songs were among my very favorites.

Ballerinas: I could gaze for hours at my little girls dancing and twirling and bowing and spinning. They don't take dance classes, but they love to perform for me. It's one of my mind's most precious scenes.

Banjo: I totally want to learn to play!

Baptism: We've been recently discussing adult baptism. Monet isn't sure he wants to be baptized, ever. Since we've been attending an Anabaptist church, the subject has come up several times. If we decide to join the church, which is the direction we're heading, it's my understanding that we're supposed to be baptized again (Bo and I). The children will wait until they're adults to choose baptism.

Barber: When I was in high school, I kind of toyed with the idea of opening a barber shop with my dad, a real, old fashioned one with a barber pole and a quartet on Saturdays and straight-razor shaves.

Barefoot: I don't go barefoot as often now as I did as a child. It was surely summer when I was allowed to run outside with my shoes off. By the end of summer, I could scamper across our gravel drive with nary a wince.

Barn: When Bard was a child, we prayed for a red barn with lots and lots of animals. Every day when I look out my kitchen window, I see a red barn that houses goats, chickens, a pot-bellied pig, a pigeon and lots of cats. I need to thank God for that more often.

Bass Guitar: Recently Bard told Monet that he really should become good at his musical instruments because then he could choose any girl he wanted. There's something disturbingly true about this. Bo is a bass player and has a wonderful, sexy singing voice, somewhere between John Mayer, Steven Curtis Chapman and Daryll Hall. Between those talents and his adorable dimples, I was head-over-heels in no time.

Bathtub: I have a big 'ol tub in my bedroom that serves as my retreat. I turn the lights low and soak, enjoying a good book or a chat with my hubby. On the cold days when I was working at the greenhouse, it kept me going to know that I could go home and plunge myself into my tub's warmth. When we were building our house, we were worried that putting that huge whirlpool tub in our room would be a mistake that we'd regret. On the contrary! It's the best thing to use when you have to toss a bunch of dirty kids into water or soak a basket of smoldering clothes from a dryer fire or bathe a flea-bitten varmint. I don't know what I'd do without indoor plumbing!

Belief: I've always, always, always believed in a higher power. When I was young, I would pray to an unknown being, asking it to solve my problems, calm my angry mother or send me a pony. It wasn't until I was older that I saw this being as God, and it wasn't until I was sixteen that I became a Christian. Every day my belief in God moves and rearranges and changes and deepens and wavers. In my adult life, I've even tried to abandon Him, but His realness always returns to me.

Belligerent: I was as a child, and now I have two boys who are as well. Pray for me.

Bickering: If there's one thing that drives me insane, it's my children bickering with each other. They say I just don't understand. I was an only child. What do they know?

Billy goat: Johnny was a cute little billy, but now he's a brute. He sticks out his tongue before he rears up, does disgusting things with his pee, makes terrible noises that sound like a human man gurgling to death, and smells like something very wrong. But I love him anyway.

Books: My favorites are Peace Like a River, The Life of Pi, The Little House series, Gone-Away Lake, The Bible (especially my Amplified Bible), Tess of the D'Urbervilles (how very tragic!), Stephen King On Writing. I have a bunch of gardening books and cookbooks and children's books. The only thing that prevents me from surrounding my whole self with books is my lack of bookcases. I even hope to write one some day.

Bread: Quite possibly my favorite food. I love to bake it and I love, love, love to eat it warm with a slab of real butter. Oh, very yes.

Breakfast: Somehow, I often miss this. I get going and hit the ground running, sometimes forgetting to fuel my body. And then I get mean. I really should remember to eat breakfast.

Buggy: We have lots of these here in Amish Country, most of them black with a big orange "slow-moving-vehicle" sign on the back. But occasionally I'll see one with no lights, no reflectors and now sign. Those are the lower order Amish and you really don't want to come upon that kind of buggy in the dark of night. It's a great contrast to the buggy we saw in town one night that boasted ground effects. No joke.

Bumblebee: When I was a kid, I used to catch these and hold them in my hand.

Burden: A huge financial burden has been lifted. Thank you, God, for your provision and for your people!