I called a friend on the phone one day, and when he heard my voice asking how he was doing, he sighed a big sigh.His response was normally "Blessed!" because...well, because that's just the way he is. He always gives credit to God for his life, his beautiful family and what he's learning about being alive. Such an inspiration to me.
On this day, after that big sigh, he said, "Blessed...and challenged."
Apparently, the chickens I had given him the week before had been attacked by raccoons and he'd awoken to a veritable chicken masacre, chicken parts and feather strewn everywhere. His children were sobbing, his wife was freaked out, and he was just plain angry.
If you were to call me today and ask me how I'm doing, likely my answer would be "Blessed...and challenged."
I'm blessed because that's truly what I am--blessed. God is so very good to me, even when I'm a complete and total moron. He provides for me, even when I complain about how little provision I have. He loves me, even when I am completely and totally unlovable. I'm very, very blessed.
But I'm also challenged. Money has never been as tight in my life as it feels right now. Note that I didn't say money has never been this tight, because it has. I have had many times where they only way I would get a meal was to search the couch cushions for change and walk to the store (because I had no gas, or my truck was broken down) to buy eggs, which I would scramble and eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
I've been poor enough in the past that I decided to stop buying razor blades and buy, instead, a disposable razor, which I then used until it ripped the skin off my legs and armpits. When I realized how utterly ridiculous this was, I simply stopped shaving my legs and armpits. Hey, I didn't put that stuff there. I'm not giving over my milk money to clean it up!
But, what I'm saying now, is that I FEEL poor. I have a lovely house, two (barely) working vehicles, five gallons of milk in the fridge, and enough food to feed my family for at least four days. More, if I were to get very resourceful.
I'm truly blessed.
But there is no extra money. And I don't just mean I can't afford a cruise or a trip to Disney World. I mean I can't afford a trip to the next state to visit my relatives. I mean I can't afford to take field trips this month. I mean that if one of my vehicles broke down today, I'd be out of luck. There's no way we could afford to replace it.
If there were a tragedy in our home, and the doctor bills exceeded, say, $50, that would be a problem. Our insurance won't even cover The Baby's vitamin prescription. I guess it's more profitable to collect from sick people than it is to see them stay healthy. Sigh.
I'm challenged.
Challenged because this pot-bellied pig isn't working out. Just before I came in to write this, I was on my hands and knees cleaning pig poo off the bathroom floor because someone thought it would be fun to see just how much food a pot-bellied pig could hold. Apparently they can hold a lot--and then propel it out the other end all at once. Unfortunately, no one thought it would be fun to get on their hands and knees and clean up the outcome (pun intended) of the experiment.
Challenged because I just found out that an upcoming purchase that's completely necessary was misquoted to me; the actual price is double what was originally stated, and it's too late to back out.
Challenged because gnats have taken over my home. I don't know why, but they snuck in somewhere, probably on the overripe bananas I insist on buying because they're cheap and will make excellent banana bread and then they turn into brown soup-in-a-peel while I'm cleaning pig poo off the bathroom floor. And now they've (the gnats, that is, not the bananas) infested my beloved potted plants that hang from the tops of my kitchen cupboards.
I'm blessed, though, because I've been asked to speak at a couple of different events that are near and dear to my heart. Given my current track record, I feel like any speaking I would do would lead people to believe that I have some kind of answer to their burning questions. That, my friends, would be very disingenuous.
I'm blessed, too, because, after five years of raising rabbits and always getting "bad" ones who didn't want to have babies, we finally had OUR FIRST litter of bunnies, which was a wonderful thing to wake up to.
I'm challenged, though, because the mother decided that it would be so much better to eat them than nurse them, so now she's only down to two, and I'm still not sure whether she's going to nurse them or save them for dessert.
See, I'm not saying that things are bad, because I do know that they aren't. Things could be so, so, so much worse, and God is doing a very good job at duct-taping my life together, no matter how quickly I need patching.
I'm just saying that I can see both sides of the coin today. It's pretty exhausting.
So, your prayers would be appreciated.
So, lemme ask you...how are YOU doing today?
