I wasn't all that interested in letting a grumpy hotel clerk deter me from having a splendid birthday mini-vacation with my five loverly children, so on Thursday morning, we gussied up and headed into town.
I knew a bit about downtown because we were once accidental tourists to Mt. Vernon, stranded there several years ago when our radiator blew enroute to Cincinnati. Since all of the repair shops were closed for the evening, we'd bummed a ride with a couple of women in a huge passenger van who took us into town to find a place to stay. Only after they drove us around for about forty five minutes to find a hotel that wasn't full of college-aged soccer-tournament guys did we find that they were headed to the hospital because the quiet boy in the back seat was bleeding from his ear.
The whole thing had been an adventure, and we'd made the best of it, with a visit to the cafe and a funky museum and an architectural salvage warehouse and a little independent bookstore and a bead shoppe. The bead shoppe alone could have distracted me for days.
So it was that very bead shoppe that I was seeking on our sojourn to downtown. On our first drive through, I saw that the cafe had moved, that there were a few more antique stores, that the funky museum was gone, and that the bead shoppe did, indeed, remain. I parked the car, extracted the five children from it, and down the block we walked, three months worth of stashed-away mad money jingling in a little black drawstring bag in my pocket.
When we stepped inside the bead shoppe, it was just as I remembered it. Table after table after table of colorful, sparkling beads carefully separated into their own compartments. The shopkeeper slid her eyes our way, and I saw a look of nervousness that immediately soaked into my skin and saturated me from head to tow. Thousands and thousands and thousands of tiny beads. Hundreds of organized compartments. And me, with two teenagers. And two young children. And one toddler. A whole slew of accidents waiting to happen.
I felt it upon impact. The nervousness became me, and I couldn't shake it. I suddenly felt like I was the most irresponsible mother in the world, though I'd not been in the shoppe for more than three minutes. That nervousness must have oozed out of me and found its way directly into four-year-old The Baby. But with toddlers, a mother's oozed nervousness soaks in and morphs into something else, something insidious. When a mother becomes a frazzled mess, a toddler becomes...Demon Child.
I don't know why this happens, and I don't know how God thought it was at all funny to make things this way, but the more nervous I became, the more fingers The Baby grew; the faster she became; the more curious and hands-on. And when she found something sweet and quiet to do, the shopkeeper found a reason why she shouldn't be doing it. And she told me about it.
"She shouldn't be sitting near that window display..."
"Come on, Baby. Let's look at something else...
"But I like the butterflies! I want to look at those pretty butterflies!"
Hands and fingers and knees and elbows were everywhere. The shopkeeper's eyes were in one place. On me and my children. She hovered near me, and I began to feel as if she had mistaken me for the local bead shoplifter.
My long-awaited foray into beading was being thwarted.
Finally, I looked pleadingly at sixteen-year-old Houdin, a teenaged boy who really has no great interest in beads, and begged him, "Could you please take her down to that cute little bookstore and see if you can read her a book?" I scooped up The Baby, shifted her into Houdin's strong arms, and watched nervously as he bounded out the door with her on his hip. Eleven-year-old Monet followed, gliding on his Heelies out the door.
Now I had two things to worry about; recovering my reputation from this reluctant shopkeeper and the safety of my precious, precocious daughter in a strange town with my two young equally precocious boys.
I turned my gaze back to the hundreds of tiny compartments and tried to find beading inspiration.
But it's hard to make a delicate pair of dazzling earrings when your hands are shaking like you've just downed a double espresso, a Live Wire and a Red Bull.
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