Facebookin'

It was early in the facebook craze when a college-aged friend told me about the social networking site. At that point, facebook was mostly for college students. I don't think it even accepted high school students then. I was skeptical of it. Okay, let me rephrase that. I thought it sounded pretty stupid. 

I mean, "facebook?" What the heck? What does that even mean? 

I tucked the concept away, sticking it into my brain's version of the mini mesh metal trash can in my Mac's dock. Much like with that icon, there are times when I fail to right-click on my brain's trash can and choose "empty." 

So years later, when my high-school aged children mentioned facebook again, I opened the contents of my brain's trash folder and scanned the files. Ah, yes. There it is. That's the site I thought was so stupid years ago. Facebook? What does that even mean? 

"It's like a yearbook, Mom. Get it? Like a yearbook online, where you can see everyone you know, and all of their information, and their pictures. I think you'd like it. You should join."

And to appease my children, I let them set me up with a facebook page. 

Oh. My. Goodness. 

Suddenly the social networking world opened me up and swallowed me whole. Sure, I had a blog. Sure, I had a myspace. But this--THIS--was something completely different. With facebook, I could keep in touch with all of my young friends, like my speech and debate students, and my homeschool group students, and even my college-aged friend who first introduced me to facebook. I could keep in touch with my extended family, posting pictures and having brief discussions. I could even have conversations with my children, play games like Scrabble and TextTwirl. I could keep in touch with friends who had moved away or I'd moved away from. I could connect with high school friends that I hadn't seen in twenty years. And instead of asking them to update me on what was going on in their lives, I could just click, click, click, and I'd know what was going on without them even telling me. I could create groups about things I loved, invite people to events I was hosting, or post video projects I'd created. It was like being in one big room where everyone I knew and loved was present (kind of like my idea of heaven!), even though they weren't connected to one another. And because it's a private place, a place where only my friends can view my information and interact with me, I wasn't all that worried about my personal security.

It wasn't long before I was hooked, addicted, strung out on facebook. And it wasn't long after that before I received an e-mail from a friend exposing me to the evils of facebook. A frightening presentation told me about the risks I'm taking by divulging my personal information on a social networking site. In McCarthyistic style, the presentation suggested that the information that I share on facebook could land me on a blacklist sometime in the future, possibly when religious and political freedoms are limited in the United States, possibly in the very near future, and that all information, including my interests, organizations and affiliations, could be used to indict me. 

For a little while, it frightened me. Actually, sometimes it still does. I know what kinds of persecutions took place when between 11 and 17 million men, women and children were systematically exterminated during the Holocaust, starting in 1935 with the Nuremberg Laws and continuing on through the liberation of Theresienstadt in 1945. That kind of systematic destruction of a people is not behind us. It happens today in many forms, whether through the murder of white farmers in South Africa, vandalism and destruction in Turkey, or torture for Christian conversion in Laos. 

So if facebook were a government fact-finding service, designed to collect as much condemning information about me as possible, what would they find? And if I didn't have a facebook, would there still be enough evidence in my life to convict me of being a Christian? A peacemaker? A thinker? An NPR listener? A music lover? A reader? A volunteer? An addict of The Office?

Of course there would be. 

Which brings me to this thought: I'm not worried about my facebook information because I have nothing to hide. I have nothing to hide. I have to think pretty hard when I consider those words. Are they true? Yes. Yes, they are. I have nothing to hide. At least I don't want to hide anything. I want to be real about who I am. I want to be open with the fact that I am an imperfect person. I'm a self-centered, quirky, eclectic, stubborn woman with vain ideas. I'm materialistic and frequently overspend on things I don't need. I lose my temper easily and often get impatient with my loved ones. I'm prone to paranoia, self-doubt and intense moments of self-criticism. I'm a blamer, and I expect way, way, way too much of people. I'm opinionated, idealistic and argumentative. 

But I also want to be open to what God would have me be. Through him, through Jesus, and through the Holy Spirit, my weaknesses can be his strengths. The Holy Spirit can make me what I need to be. I can be kind and loving. I can be a visionary and a peacemaker. I can encourage, lift up, serve and intercede. Through God, I can be made new. 

God is doing all kinds of new things!

Technology is moving forward, and these crazy beings called "people" are moving along with it. While we can lament the disappearance of the hand-written letter and look with disdain upon the rash spontaneity of e-mail and text messaging, the truth is that these actions are merely symptoms of a truth. Human beings want to interact with someone. They're looking for acceptance, love and relationship. They're looking for someone to always be there to hear them, to listen, to respond. 

I believe that God can use me, in all of my imperfection and maybe even in spite of it, to work in the lives of others, being his hands and feet, his eyes, ears and mouth. 

And I believe that he can use these ridiculous inventions like social networking sites to do it. 

Up next, my thoughts on Twitter. 

Ain't no cure for the summertime blues...

Once the weather gets warm, and the trees jump into greenness, and the dirt invites a spade and some willing fingers, our family can be found outdoors at every chance.

Every year, I've taken a little more time and a little more effort to plant a vegetable garden and a couple of flower beds. This year, with gas prices being what they are, and food costs skyrocketing, I decided that it would be necessary to grow as big of a garden as I can possibly get, and that everyone in the family will work in it, no exceptions. So far, that plan has worked out, with just a few hitches.

The hitches are the computers. My boys, in particular, don't seem to be able to function properly if there is an electronic device within a hundred feet of them. I can assign them a chore and, as soon as I'm not looking, they disappear. I'll spend a half-hour pulling weeds, or hoeing a row, or hauling mulch, and then I realize that someone's missing. It seems that I spend half of my work day playing hide and seek, though it's never very hard to find them.

Usually the reason is that they had to go to the bathroom, or change their shoes, or get a drink. And once they're in the house, that computer is just too strong of a pull. They're sucked in to Frets on Fire or facebook. It's almost like they don't even know they're doing it.

But the girls? Well, when they're in the garden with me, it's right where they want to be. They will do whatever it takes to make the yard look pretty, and just to spend time with mom. And if they aren't working with mom, they're swinging on the swing, or playing with the animals, or pretending they're fairies, or picking flowers to weave into each others' hair. Bard will spend the entire day weeding, mulching and identifying emerging perennials in her garden.

Is it a hard-wiring thing? Are girls so programmed to nest and create environments that they aren't even tempted away?

Are boys so programmed to hunt and gather and protect that they'll drift away from their household duties in order to virtually hunt and gather and protect?

Whatever the reason, it causes some friction in the Thicket Dweller household. The girls, even though they love being with mom and enjoy housework to some extent, dont' appreciate it when they have to do all of it, and the boys get to run off and "play." And I, who have always intended to raise boys who can cook and clean just as well as they can work on cars and gather firewod, am simply maddened by their distractedness. It leaves all of us feeling resentful and trodden upon.

So I'm looking for solutions. I know that I can do some things in a very analog style, like taking the power supply or the wireless keyboard and mouse and locking them in the locker. But that doesn't change the heart issue, and that's what I need to address now.

Any commiserations or suggestions that you have would be warmly welcomed. Does anyone else deal with these issues? How do you handle them? Do you see a difference between boys and girls in this area?

I'll be staying tuned, but I won't be standing right by my computer. If you need me, I'll be in the garden.