Bard began her fundraising letter yesterday and has been working on the rough and final drafts today. She wrote the rough draft, edited for clarity and interest and then edited again for punctuation. We discussed using commas properly per Punctuation Made Easy. We also used this book to discuss correct proofreading symbols. She's doing the dishes now, but when she's done she'll read the proofreading symbols I used on her letter and correct the mistakes.
Thursday, August 19, 2004
Kevin's Playroom
Kevin's Playroom
This site has a ton of links for education, ranging in information about subjects from drama to math.
This site has a ton of links for education, ranging in information about subjects from drama to math.
CNN.com - Put your feet up, It's time for school - Aug 13th, 2004
Put Your Feet Up, It's Time for School
This is a fair and encouraging article on home learning, though there's still the banal argument of socialization. Do these experts really believe that socializing only takes place in a classroom of 20-30 children of the same age and neighborhoods and one or two teachers? My children have relationships with people of many ages, belief systems, backgrounds and cultures. Just last night, we met with the arts council meeting, which was made up of an adult male actor, a middle-aged married couple, an elderly couple who is very active in the historic preservation of our community, a Christian author, a health food store employee and our homeschooling family. That's pretty diverse! And if my children were in school, they'd probably miss opportunities such as these because they'd be home doing homework or involved in extra-curricular activities in the evenings. We're able to take advantage of so many diverse learning opportunities because we can explore ideas and environments whenever we wish.
I think the last line in the article sums up my whole philosophy of learning at home.
"If you know how to learn," she says, "and you know your kids, you know how to teach your kids."
This is a fair and encouraging article on home learning, though there's still the banal argument of socialization. Do these experts really believe that socializing only takes place in a classroom of 20-30 children of the same age and neighborhoods and one or two teachers? My children have relationships with people of many ages, belief systems, backgrounds and cultures. Just last night, we met with the arts council meeting, which was made up of an adult male actor, a middle-aged married couple, an elderly couple who is very active in the historic preservation of our community, a Christian author, a health food store employee and our homeschooling family. That's pretty diverse! And if my children were in school, they'd probably miss opportunities such as these because they'd be home doing homework or involved in extra-curricular activities in the evenings. We're able to take advantage of so many diverse learning opportunities because we can explore ideas and environments whenever we wish.
I think the last line in the article sums up my whole philosophy of learning at home.
"If you know how to learn," she says, "and you know your kids, you know how to teach your kids."
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
::: arts council and upcoming activities :::
Bard, Edison, Monet and I went to the local arts council meeting tonight at a nearby restaurant. There were a handful of people there, and I think the group needs some fresh blood. It seems that those who are interested in art are actually busy being *artists* so it's difficult for them to find the time to attend meetings. Hopefully, some organization can come of it, and we can help with that.
They did discuss the possibility of a theater group, which would be cool, and they have a couple of other things planned. like a trip to the art museum. I think we'll plan to participate. Also, I volunteered to host the gathering at my house in October, the third Wednesday. I also have a PartyLite party scheduled for sometime in there, I think the second or third week in October, as well as our upcoming family gathering.
I mailed my homeschool notification today by certified mail. Hope this comes out well. It's the first time I've notified in years. I hope to ask to assess my own children, as per the state regs which indicate that the children can be assessed by a "mutually agreed upon" person between the parents and the superintendent. If not, I do have a friend who has volunteered to do the assessment, since she is a certified teacher and a former homeschooling parent.
I also mailed my application for the local homeschool support group. We'll see how that turns out. I mailed the registration for Mrs. Lake's group, too, and I hope to help her with some of the field trips she's planning. Could be very cool.
I also hope to plan a field trip for our own family to the Shakespearean Theatre in Cincinnati. We could hit the aquarium, zoo, etc, while we're there. Could be fun.
Now, it's time to finish our Phase Ten game.
They did discuss the possibility of a theater group, which would be cool, and they have a couple of other things planned. like a trip to the art museum. I think we'll plan to participate. Also, I volunteered to host the gathering at my house in October, the third Wednesday. I also have a PartyLite party scheduled for sometime in there, I think the second or third week in October, as well as our upcoming family gathering.
I mailed my homeschool notification today by certified mail. Hope this comes out well. It's the first time I've notified in years. I hope to ask to assess my own children, as per the state regs which indicate that the children can be assessed by a "mutually agreed upon" person between the parents and the superintendent. If not, I do have a friend who has volunteered to do the assessment, since she is a certified teacher and a former homeschooling parent.
I also mailed my application for the local homeschool support group. We'll see how that turns out. I mailed the registration for Mrs. Lake's group, too, and I hope to help her with some of the field trips she's planning. Could be very cool.
I also hope to plan a field trip for our own family to the Shakespearean Theatre in Cincinnati. We could hit the aquarium, zoo, etc, while we're there. Could be fun.
Now, it's time to finish our Phase Ten game.
::: bard's sponsorship :::
Bard began writing her sponsorship request letters for her trip to China. She has really, really talked herself into believing that she won't be able to go. I'm very hesitant to send out the letters or to prod her into sending them. I've made it clear that the whole thing is in her hands. Hopefully, she'll finish the letter today and get it sent out so that I won't have to worry about it.
Edison went to Penny's to do some work and then rode to the bakery. In the evening, he went to the neighbor's house, too.
I finished my notification letter (did I already write that?) and will send it today. I also hope to order the Little House and Anne of Green Gables curricula today.
We watched The Secret Window last night. I hated it. After 15 years of trying to detox myself from Stephen King-like thoughts, they all came flooding right back. I had to sleep with my back against Bohemian because I was frightened like a child. :-/
Edison went to Penny's to do some work and then rode to the bakery. In the evening, he went to the neighbor's house, too.
I finished my notification letter (did I already write that?) and will send it today. I also hope to order the Little House and Anne of Green Gables curricula today.
We watched The Secret Window last night. I hated it. After 15 years of trying to detox myself from Stephen King-like thoughts, they all came flooding right back. I had to sleep with my back against Bohemian because I was frightened like a child. :-/
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
::: our sponsored child/letter writing :::
We sponsor a child from Brazil through Compassion International. We started this sponsorship because Edison heard a membership drive on our local Christian radio station and really wanted to be a part of it, so we looked into it. I allowed Edison to search through the children on the website and choose someone to whom he'd like to write, and he chose Diego.
Diego is close to Edison's age and has very similar interests, including soccer and music. It seemed like a good match.
We've now been writing to Diego for about two years. It's a little frustrating, because the lag time is so long. Today, we received a letter dated June 29th, and Diego talked about Christmas! Since I write to him often, it's hard to tell what letter he's responding to.
Today, each of us wrote a letter in response to Diego's most recent correspondence. Monet didn't really want to do it, but I gave him four questions to write about, and he did it. We talked about Brazil, looked up a few facts about their language, culture and customs, and looked at a globe to find where we are in relation to Brazil.
I worked with Edison on spelling, paragraphs and punctuation. I found a very helpful book at Wal*Mart called Punctuation Made Easy. I can't seem to find a link for it, but it's a very helpful book geared towards children that explores the different types of punctuation and their proper usages.
I also found a website called Punctuation Made Simple which gives a basic overview of colons, semicolons, commas, dashes and apostrophes.
Anyway, because Edison was anxious to go for a bike ride to the bakery, he was happy to do his letter and get it done. When he finished, he was actually proud of his letter and the fact that he wrote 88 words!
I think part of this pride comes from something that happened yesterday when we were with The Chasers. He and Josh are very good friends, have been since they were babies, and if Edison were going to write a letter to someone, it would be Josh. Edison came to me while at Josh's house and held out three letters, written on his Superman stationery. He told me to read them in the correct order, which I did. I wouldn't have needed him to tell me which was the first and which was the last because of the marked improvement in his spelling and his handwriting! I think the pride of seeing his own improvement spurred him on when writing to Diego.
I would like to get back into the habit we had formed last year, which was to write a letter every Sunday. I think it really reinforces handwriting, grammar and communication skills, as well as helps them to keep in touch with friends and relatives. It's always fun to receive a letter in the mail, and the best way to get one is to give one!
Diego is close to Edison's age and has very similar interests, including soccer and music. It seemed like a good match.
We've now been writing to Diego for about two years. It's a little frustrating, because the lag time is so long. Today, we received a letter dated June 29th, and Diego talked about Christmas! Since I write to him often, it's hard to tell what letter he's responding to.
Today, each of us wrote a letter in response to Diego's most recent correspondence. Monet didn't really want to do it, but I gave him four questions to write about, and he did it. We talked about Brazil, looked up a few facts about their language, culture and customs, and looked at a globe to find where we are in relation to Brazil.
I worked with Edison on spelling, paragraphs and punctuation. I found a very helpful book at Wal*Mart called Punctuation Made Easy. I can't seem to find a link for it, but it's a very helpful book geared towards children that explores the different types of punctuation and their proper usages.
I also found a website called Punctuation Made Simple which gives a basic overview of colons, semicolons, commas, dashes and apostrophes.
Anyway, because Edison was anxious to go for a bike ride to the bakery, he was happy to do his letter and get it done. When he finished, he was actually proud of his letter and the fact that he wrote 88 words!
I think part of this pride comes from something that happened yesterday when we were with The Chasers. He and Josh are very good friends, have been since they were babies, and if Edison were going to write a letter to someone, it would be Josh. Edison came to me while at Josh's house and held out three letters, written on his Superman stationery. He told me to read them in the correct order, which I did. I wouldn't have needed him to tell me which was the first and which was the last because of the marked improvement in his spelling and his handwriting! I think the pride of seeing his own improvement spurred him on when writing to Diego.
I would like to get back into the habit we had formed last year, which was to write a letter every Sunday. I think it really reinforces handwriting, grammar and communication skills, as well as helps them to keep in touch with friends and relatives. It's always fun to receive a letter in the mail, and the best way to get one is to give one!
Monday, August 16, 2004
::: baseball with the chasers :::
We're heading out to a baseball game today with The Chasers. Just as I suspected, Edison got up early and is out taking care of the chickens, goats, rabbits, dogs and cats. Good for you, Edison!
Photos forthcoming.
Photos forthcoming.
Sunday, August 15, 2004
::: phase ten :::
We spent the evening playing Phase 10. Edison kept score, which was helpful in practicing his addition, carrying, etc. Monet was able to practice sorting, waiting his turn, counting on, making runs, making pairs, and counting by 5's, 10's and 25's. Sweetheart drew pictures. Bard drew pictures, practiced neat handwriting.
::: today's reading list :::
Edison recently finished:
Bard recently read:
She is currently re-reading There's a Girl in My Hammerlock by Jerry Spinelli and Macbeth by William Shakespeare.
Monet recently read:
- Jedi Under Seige
- Shadow Academy
- Lost Ones
- Lightsabers
- Shards of Alderaan
- (all by by Kevin J. Anderson and Rebecca Moesta)
- Coin Magic by Klutz
Bard recently read:
- The Moon by Night by Madeleine L'Engle
- Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach
- Just So Stories by Rudyard Kipling
- Hamlet by William Shakespeare
- Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
- The Egypt Game by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
- The Whisper of Glocken by Carol Kendall
- M.C. Higgens the Great by Virginia Hamilton
She is currently re-reading There's a Girl in My Hammerlock by Jerry Spinelli and Macbeth by William Shakespeare.
Monet recently read:
- The Day Jimmy's Boa Ate the Wash by Trinka Hakes Noble
- Midnight on the Moon by Mary Pope Osbourne
- If You Give a Mouse a Cookie by
- Favourite Woodland Tales: A Collection
- Oh Say Can You Say by Dr. Seuss
- Eloise in Moscow by Kay Thompson
- Bible Tails Picture Book for Children by The Donut Man
::: saturday and sunday :::
On Saturday, Bohemian and I picked up a free refrigerator that was listed on our local Freecycle list. Today, my dad cleaned it and we plugged it in. It will serve as a second fridge.
Bard and I had a great discussion about what she wants to be when she grows up. We discussed M. Night Shyamalan and how his entire family is comprised of doctors, but at around the age of 11, he decided he wanted to be a filmmaker. Bard says she'd like to be either a filmmaker, a writer, a singer or an actor. She feels those things are too banal for a teen, though, so she's not sure she wants to pursue any of them seriously.
Edison rode to Penny's house and did a bit of work for them. He rode to the bakery, too, and bought himself a donut. He's been thrilled to have this measure of freedom. The freedom does come with a bit of a price, though. When Bohemian and I came home from our trip to pick up the fridge and our fruitless yard-sale outing, it was after noon. Edison was just taking care of the chickens and goats. This has been an ongoing problem, and I actually had to call him home from a friend's house last week because he said he'd done the chores and hadn't. So, when it was time for him to ask if he could ride to Penny's, I told him that he would first have to write up and sign a contract stating that he would complete his animal chores each morning before 9:00 AM. Every word had to be spelled correctly and the punctuation had to be correct. Sure enough, he produced the signed document, and I told him he could go on his outing. This morning, his chores were done by 9:30. I let him know that this wasn't in accordance with the contract. The solution was that he would purchase an alarm clock.
We watched The King and I. We've been on a bit of a Rodgers and Hammerstein kick. When Monet asked if they could watch it, I said that it was a bit complicated and I wasn't sure if he would understand it. He then continued to tell me the entire story, punctuated by agreements from Sweetheart. When I asked him how he knew this, he said it was from The Sound of Movies, which is a documentary about Rodgers and Hammerstein that we watched a couple of months ago. Good retention!
This is how we spent today, Sunday:
Breakfast as a family. Edison set the table. Yogurt pancakes (flipped by Bohemian), hash browns and sausage.
Bard and I discussed the upcoming school year and discussed the possibility of using some of Cadron Creek's curricula. Bard tended toward Where the Brook and River Meet.
I finished True to Form by Elizabeth Berg. Bard and I discussed it a bit and thought it might be a good book about which to do a reading discussion.
Monet read Midnight on the Moon by Mary Pope Osbourne.
Bard and Monet played with (and then fought over) Robotics.
I made potato chips while we played Star Wars Trivial Pursuit. The kids took turns reading the cards aloud. Bard won. Bohemian and I came in second, and Monet and Edison came in third.
I finished my notification letter, which I hope to mail out tomorrow by certified mail.
I joined an e-mail list for Where the Brook and River Meet.
Tomorrow, we will go visit with The Chasers (friends of ours who homeschool. Mrs. Chaser is really one of my best friends. It's so good to have a kindred spirit!) for grilling and a baseball game.
Bard and I had a great discussion about what she wants to be when she grows up. We discussed M. Night Shyamalan and how his entire family is comprised of doctors, but at around the age of 11, he decided he wanted to be a filmmaker. Bard says she'd like to be either a filmmaker, a writer, a singer or an actor. She feels those things are too banal for a teen, though, so she's not sure she wants to pursue any of them seriously.
Edison rode to Penny's house and did a bit of work for them. He rode to the bakery, too, and bought himself a donut. He's been thrilled to have this measure of freedom. The freedom does come with a bit of a price, though. When Bohemian and I came home from our trip to pick up the fridge and our fruitless yard-sale outing, it was after noon. Edison was just taking care of the chickens and goats. This has been an ongoing problem, and I actually had to call him home from a friend's house last week because he said he'd done the chores and hadn't. So, when it was time for him to ask if he could ride to Penny's, I told him that he would first have to write up and sign a contract stating that he would complete his animal chores each morning before 9:00 AM. Every word had to be spelled correctly and the punctuation had to be correct. Sure enough, he produced the signed document, and I told him he could go on his outing. This morning, his chores were done by 9:30. I let him know that this wasn't in accordance with the contract. The solution was that he would purchase an alarm clock.
We watched The King and I. We've been on a bit of a Rodgers and Hammerstein kick. When Monet asked if they could watch it, I said that it was a bit complicated and I wasn't sure if he would understand it. He then continued to tell me the entire story, punctuated by agreements from Sweetheart. When I asked him how he knew this, he said it was from The Sound of Movies, which is a documentary about Rodgers and Hammerstein that we watched a couple of months ago. Good retention!
This is how we spent today, Sunday:
Breakfast as a family. Edison set the table. Yogurt pancakes (flipped by Bohemian), hash browns and sausage.
Bard and I discussed the upcoming school year and discussed the possibility of using some of Cadron Creek's curricula. Bard tended toward Where the Brook and River Meet.
I finished True to Form by Elizabeth Berg. Bard and I discussed it a bit and thought it might be a good book about which to do a reading discussion.
Monet read Midnight on the Moon by Mary Pope Osbourne.
Bard and Monet played with (and then fought over) Robotics.
I made potato chips while we played Star Wars Trivial Pursuit. The kids took turns reading the cards aloud. Bard won. Bohemian and I came in second, and Monet and Edison came in third.
I finished my notification letter, which I hope to mail out tomorrow by certified mail.
I joined an e-mail list for Where the Brook and River Meet.
Tomorrow, we will go visit with The Chasers (friends of ours who homeschool. Mrs. Chaser is really one of my best friends. It's so good to have a kindred spirit!) for grilling and a baseball game.
Rainbow Resource Center
Rainbow Resource Center
I just discovered Rainbow Resource Center. I am STUNNED by the massiveness of this catalog! It must have just about everything a person would ever need or want to educate their children. With a resource like this, it would be very easy to get overwhelmed!
I just discovered Rainbow Resource Center. I am STUNNED by the massiveness of this catalog! It must have just about everything a person would ever need or want to educate their children. With a resource like this, it would be very easy to get overwhelmed!
Friday, August 13, 2004
::: houdin's magic :::
(I believe this is where I changed from calling Houdin "Edison" 9/22/09) I took Houdin to the magic shop today. He's been doing magic tricks in front of the local bakery for money in his hat. Busking, which a neighbor believes is illegal. The owner of the bakery said it was fine, that they like Houdin's company, and he folds bakery boxes for them when there's no customers. Last time I was in there, the girl at the register told me what a bright kid Houdin is. Anyway, since he's been doing it, he's made $34. He used that money to buy more magic tricks. I'm thinking of looking into a magicians group for him. I should also take a photo of him doing his stuff, since his great grandpa's a magician, too, and doesn't live very close, in addition to being a paraplegic.
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Cadron Creek
living history unit studies home school curriculum catalogs
I mentioned this company in a previous blog entry, but I think it deserves its own entry. I'm going to look more into this and will report as I find out more.
This company publishes literature based unit studies for Anne of Green Gables, Little House on the Prairie and The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe.
From the website:
CATALOG OF RESOURCES
American Dictionary of the English Languages 1828
Biblical Holidays
50 Veteran Homeschoolers Share Things We Wish We'd Known
Mommy Diagnostics
Woe is I
The Prairie Primer
Laura Ingalls Wilder Country
Laura Ingalls Wilder Songbook
Historical Time Table
The Little House Cookbook
The World of Little House
My Little House Crafts Book
Spelling Power
Where the Brook and River Meet
Anne's Anthology
The Annotated Anne of Green Gables
Writers Inc.
The Green Gables Letters
Are You Liberal? Conservative? or Confused?
Laurel's Kitchen Caring
What in the World's Going on Here?
At Her Majesty's Request
Heroes of the Faith
Further Up and Further In
Surprised by Joy
Of Other Worlds
Poems
Companion to Narnia
More True Tales; Ancient Civilizations and the Bible
Save on Basic History Pack (Are You Liberal? Conservative? or Confused?, What in the World is Going on Here Vol 1& 2)
Save on Anne's Pack (Where the Brook and River Meet, Annotated Anne of Green Gables, Anne's Anthology)
Save on Further Up and Further In Basic Pack (Further Up and Further In, Surprised By Joy, Poems by C. S. Lewis, and Of Other Worlds.)
I mentioned this company in a previous blog entry, but I think it deserves its own entry. I'm going to look more into this and will report as I find out more.
This company publishes literature based unit studies for Anne of Green Gables, Little House on the Prairie and The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe.
From the website:
CATALOG OF RESOURCES
American Dictionary of the English Languages 1828
Biblical Holidays
50 Veteran Homeschoolers Share Things We Wish We'd Known
Mommy Diagnostics
Woe is I
The Prairie Primer
Laura Ingalls Wilder Country
Laura Ingalls Wilder Songbook
Historical Time Table
The Little House Cookbook
The World of Little House
My Little House Crafts Book
Spelling Power
Where the Brook and River Meet
Anne's Anthology
The Annotated Anne of Green Gables
Writers Inc.
The Green Gables Letters
Are You Liberal? Conservative? or Confused?
Laurel's Kitchen Caring
What in the World's Going on Here?
At Her Majesty's Request
Heroes of the Faith
Further Up and Further In
Surprised by Joy
Of Other Worlds
Poems
Companion to Narnia
More True Tales; Ancient Civilizations and the Bible
Save on Basic History Pack (Are You Liberal? Conservative? or Confused?, What in the World is Going on Here Vol 1& 2)
Save on Anne's Pack (Where the Brook and River Meet, Annotated Anne of Green Gables, Anne's Anthology)
Save on Further Up and Further In Basic Pack (Further Up and Further In, Surprised By Joy, Poems by C. S. Lewis, and Of Other Worlds.)
::: sweetheart and american girl/prairie primer/where the brook and river meet :::
Last night, I started reading The American Girl series to Sweetheart. We're starting with Meet Felicity. This was what I used as our primary history jumping point when Bard was in elementary school. I have a lot of materials that were made available by the company before they were purchased by Mattel. They really had an excellent program for teaching young girls history, and I think they fostered a great amount of historical fiction and interest in history that seems very popular today. They did away with many of the programs and incentives they'd originally implemented, but I'm sure a lot of the stuff is still available through eBay or Abebooks or whatever. Now, however, the emphasis seems to be on the dolls. Too bad. It really was a great thing.
I also hope to start using the Little House books. There is now a Prairie Primer, which I'm not sure I'll use but will look into. I had, at one time, hoped to write a curriculum based on the Little House books. There's such a wealth of historical information and jumping-off points in those books!
While looking for the Prairie Primer, I see there is also a study on the victorian era called Where the Brook and River Meet. This may be something I look into for Bard. My problem is that EVERYTHING looks good, and I have things now that I have never used, probably never will. :-/ I have great aspirations and I get very hopeful thinking about the wonderful things I could do with my children. Yet, here I am typing about them. To do them, I often end up frustrated...
Believe it or not, Cadron Creek, which publishes the two above mentioned resources, also publishes Further Up and Further In.
From the website:
I also hope to start using the Little House books. There is now a Prairie Primer, which I'm not sure I'll use but will look into. I had, at one time, hoped to write a curriculum based on the Little House books. There's such a wealth of historical information and jumping-off points in those books!
While looking for the Prairie Primer, I see there is also a study on the victorian era called Where the Brook and River Meet. This may be something I look into for Bard. My problem is that EVERYTHING looks good, and I have things now that I have never used, probably never will. :-/ I have great aspirations and I get very hopeful thinking about the wonderful things I could do with my children. Yet, here I am typing about them. To do them, I often end up frustrated...
Believe it or not, Cadron Creek, which publishes the two above mentioned resources, also publishes Further Up and Further In.
From the website:
Step through the wardrobe into an exciting study in the land of Narnia. Further Up and Further In will take you through the seven Narnian adventures as well as the more down to earth (or out of this world, whichever perspective you
prefer) sbjects of Bible study, English/literature, history/social studies, science, geography, cooking, and art. Further Up and Further In has 28 units. This study will take about a year with each unit lasting about one week. The extra eight weeks allowed in the study will be spent on activities that require
additional time to complete or on supplemental activities that the instructor will determine. This curriculum is so rich in ideas to explore that it will truly take a year to complete!
I think I may be in trouble...
::: monet's day out :::
I've been hoping to do a day with Monet for a week or so now, and today was the day. Bard is with a friend, so I left Edison in charge of housecleaning and cooking.
Monet chose Pizza Hut for lunch. We chose the lunch buffet and Monet reminded me of his birthday, how he chose Pizza Hut for his special birthday lunch, and how he chose "except" as one of the words to spell in our hangman game.
Today, he chose iced tea for his drink. It wasn't sweetened or flavored, so he put ten packets of sugar and three lemon slices in the tea. We had a nice lunch. I enjoyed his company.
After lunch, we headed to Wal*Mart to look for a punching bag, punching toy or boxing gloves. A few days ago, when friends were visiting, he had really lost his temper and gotten into trouble for it, so we listed some things that he could do to help control his temper. The punching bags and boxing gloves were two of the things.
In the store, he helped me gather the groceries I needed. I find that if I give him a list and some responsibilities, he's much more well-behaved. Today, he pushed the cart and did a fine job, better than some of the adults were doing who weren't looking as they pushed their carts out into the main aisle without even looking.
Our Kids' Bathroom Fish died a few days ago, so I told Monet that we had to choose a new fish. He asked if he could pick it out, and then asked if he could get a fish for his own room. I told him he could. We found a Beta tank that has two compartments so that you can keep two male betas without them killing each other. Apparently, it causes them to display their fins more to see another beta. Monet chose a blue and white beta and a red one, even asking the employee for one of the betas in the tank himself. He chose the rocks himself, too. He also chose a notebook to write things in when he's angry, calling it his Mad Book.
After Wal*Mart, we headed to the new local art gallery. It's in a big historic house, so when we parked and walked up the sidewalk towards it, Monet asked where we were going. I told him that I had always liked the house, thought it looked friendly, and figured we'd just go knock on the door and ask them if they had a cup of tea. :-) As we approached the door, he saw paintings in the window and decided it must be an art gallery. He was convinced when he saw the sign that said Art Gallery. :-)
Once inside, we told the attendant that Monet is an artist. She was very encouraging and impressed, and invited Monet to bring in some of his artwork for display and/or sale. I'm hoping to commission him to do a few paintings and then take them in. I think he'd like that. :-)
I have to make this quick, because Baby's not very happy.
After the gallery, we stopped for a drink (Monet paid and counted out the money for the drinks). On our way home, we stopped at the greenhouse, where Monet used the digital camera to take photos of the plants, flowers and miniature gardens. We bought two hanging baskets of everbearing strawberries and a hanging basket of nasturtiums, along with a few herbs, all at half-price. We then drove past the truck patch where they have a bunch of ponies and donkeys, and talked about the difference between ponies, horses, donkeys and mules. Monet asked if donkeys could be ridden and decided that, yes, you can ride a donkey because Mary and Jesus both did. :-) He also said he'd not like to have a donkey, because they're too loud.
We had many conversations, but I can't remember them now. I'll try to remember and write them down later.
When we got home, we repotted the herbs, Monet watered them, and then he spent the afternoon making artwork. Sweetheart made artwork, too, with the stencils I bought for her.
We rounded out the evening with a batch of pizza bagels and a batch of chocolate chip cookies.
Baby can't take anymore. More later....
Photos here.
Monet chose Pizza Hut for lunch. We chose the lunch buffet and Monet reminded me of his birthday, how he chose Pizza Hut for his special birthday lunch, and how he chose "except" as one of the words to spell in our hangman game.
Today, he chose iced tea for his drink. It wasn't sweetened or flavored, so he put ten packets of sugar and three lemon slices in the tea. We had a nice lunch. I enjoyed his company.
After lunch, we headed to Wal*Mart to look for a punching bag, punching toy or boxing gloves. A few days ago, when friends were visiting, he had really lost his temper and gotten into trouble for it, so we listed some things that he could do to help control his temper. The punching bags and boxing gloves were two of the things.
In the store, he helped me gather the groceries I needed. I find that if I give him a list and some responsibilities, he's much more well-behaved. Today, he pushed the cart and did a fine job, better than some of the adults were doing who weren't looking as they pushed their carts out into the main aisle without even looking.
Our Kids' Bathroom Fish died a few days ago, so I told Monet that we had to choose a new fish. He asked if he could pick it out, and then asked if he could get a fish for his own room. I told him he could. We found a Beta tank that has two compartments so that you can keep two male betas without them killing each other. Apparently, it causes them to display their fins more to see another beta. Monet chose a blue and white beta and a red one, even asking the employee for one of the betas in the tank himself. He chose the rocks himself, too. He also chose a notebook to write things in when he's angry, calling it his Mad Book.
After Wal*Mart, we headed to the new local art gallery. It's in a big historic house, so when we parked and walked up the sidewalk towards it, Monet asked where we were going. I told him that I had always liked the house, thought it looked friendly, and figured we'd just go knock on the door and ask them if they had a cup of tea. :-) As we approached the door, he saw paintings in the window and decided it must be an art gallery. He was convinced when he saw the sign that said Art Gallery. :-)
Once inside, we told the attendant that Monet is an artist. She was very encouraging and impressed, and invited Monet to bring in some of his artwork for display and/or sale. I'm hoping to commission him to do a few paintings and then take them in. I think he'd like that. :-)
I have to make this quick, because Baby's not very happy.
After the gallery, we stopped for a drink (Monet paid and counted out the money for the drinks). On our way home, we stopped at the greenhouse, where Monet used the digital camera to take photos of the plants, flowers and miniature gardens. We bought two hanging baskets of everbearing strawberries and a hanging basket of nasturtiums, along with a few herbs, all at half-price. We then drove past the truck patch where they have a bunch of ponies and donkeys, and talked about the difference between ponies, horses, donkeys and mules. Monet asked if donkeys could be ridden and decided that, yes, you can ride a donkey because Mary and Jesus both did. :-) He also said he'd not like to have a donkey, because they're too loud.
We had many conversations, but I can't remember them now. I'll try to remember and write them down later.
When we got home, we repotted the herbs, Monet watered them, and then he spent the afternoon making artwork. Sweetheart made artwork, too, with the stencils I bought for her.
We rounded out the evening with a batch of pizza bagels and a batch of chocolate chip cookies.
Baby can't take anymore. More later....
Photos here.
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
::: outing with monet :::
Monet and I are going for an outing today. I'm planning to take him to lunch, go for a walk, check out the art gallery and go to Wal*Mart to look for a punching bag or other way to let him vent his anger. More as it happens!
Sweetheart's Name
Sweetheart has been spending the morning writing her name and drawing pictures. She's also practicing making hearts and stars using a stencil. I think I'll pick up some more stencils while I'm out today.
::: monet's planets :::
Monet came into the Creative Room today and asked me if there were beings living on Mars. We checked the web and found a site called StarChild that gives a basic introduction to each of the planets and our solar system. It also provides a few simple activities to reinforce the information gained from the pages.
I also found a great site on Enchanted Learning that gives the relatives size, temperature, orbital velocity, gravitational pull, etc., for each planet.
Monet came up with an idea to label the rooms in our house according to the size of the room=size of the planet. He's making labels out of 5x7 index cards with the name of the planet, a drawing of the planet, and a description of the planet: "Cold Mars," "Icy Pluto," "Watery Earth," etc. He'll then stick each of the cards to the corresponding doors with Handy Tac. :-)
This is what I call taking advantage of a learning opportunity. A child asks a question. You learn the answer together.
I also found a great site on Enchanted Learning that gives the relatives size, temperature, orbital velocity, gravitational pull, etc., for each planet.
Monet came up with an idea to label the rooms in our house according to the size of the room=size of the planet. He's making labels out of 5x7 index cards with the name of the planet, a drawing of the planet, and a description of the planet: "Cold Mars," "Icy Pluto," "Watery Earth," etc. He'll then stick each of the cards to the corresponding doors with Handy Tac. :-)
This is what I call taking advantage of a learning opportunity. A child asks a question. You learn the answer together.
Friday, August 06, 2004
::: changeback messages :::
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
The past few days have been very trying and challenging. I've been trying to adjust to some recently discovered behavior issues with one of my kids, and it has not been easy. On Wednesday, I was so intensely depressed that I had no will to even attempt to deal with my family in a fair or rational way. I was just angry. Every call of "MOM!" or request for help was just too much for me to handle. Everything I'd ever done, any decision I'd ever made about family, childrearing, love...it was all futile. There was no point to anything.
Edison, my 13 year old son, bore the brunt of my anger, even though he wasn't the main source of my frustration. He and I have been butting heads since he was two, and I have journal entries to prove it. Something just got into that boy's system and has never found its way back out. He's argumentative, independent, headstrong, persistent and his mood changes very easily depending on his surroundings.
He's a lot like me.
So we went head-to-head about his argumentativeness, his sloppiness, his rudeness, his criticism of his siblings. I was ruthless. He was ruthless right back.
The thing is, this is just the type of behavior I've been trying to address. Not that I've been trying to address it so much in Edison, though that seems to come as a side effect of my own changes. I've really been trying to address behavior problems in me.
Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. ~Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, 1969
Raised an adopted only child in a very, incredibly dysfunctional household, I got some pretty screwed up signals from my parents. My dad was, and still is, a manipulative liar. My mom was simply out of control. She didn't know how to handle me, and decided that the authoritarian, belittling, beat-the-tar-out-of-the-child approach was what would whip me into shape.
I inherited the best of both parenting worlds.
Most of us become parents long before we have stopped being children. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
This is absolutely, amazingly appalling to me, given that by the age of 12 I had begun planning my post-childhood life, and it did NOT include repeating with my children anything my mother had ever done to me. At that age, I didn't see the manipulation and lying that my dad practiced regularly. I simply saw that he was my savior. He rescued me from bedtime, from discipline, from having to face my mother.
When he was around.
And he wasn't around often. Birthday parties, friends' visits (which were limited, as my mom hated most people and criticized all of my friends), family dinners, you name it. My dad wasn't there. He didn't attend my track meets, dance recitals, school functions or softball games. He just made sure that when he was around, he was the ultimate "good guy."
My parents were not very social, didn't belong to clubs or groups or organizations. My mom had very few friends, and my dad didn't have many good ones. They weren't Christians, so they didn't belong to a church. They simply stumbled along in their child-raising life. I was there to stumble along with them.
When I moved out, my mother carried out the threat she'd screamed many times all through my life. She divorced my dad, and told me that she no longer had a daughter.
So, coming into motherhood, I was ill-equipped. As a daughter, I had been bullied, threatened, beaten, manipulated, lied to, distracted, rewarded, screamed at, hated, argued with, applauded, slapped, shaken, frightened and frustrated. As a mother, I was determined to be better.
Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. ~John Wilmot
I read every parenting book I could find. Since I was a Christian, I read a lot of books that approached child-rearing from a "Christian" perspective. Most of those books included some kind of physical or emotional punishment. Spanking, time-out, ignoring the child when they displayed bad behavior, etc. I had been insistent with my husband Bohemian that I would never spank our children. The system I liked best was natural consequences. We spent many conversations discussing this, him telling me that this sounded good in theory, but how would it work in this situation, that situation, and what if it didn't work at all? I stood firm. Until my daughter was born.
Theoretical parenting, or theoretical anything for that matter, is not nearly as difficult as hands-on. I have never done anything in my life as difficult as being a parent. With Bard, I worked very hard to change my ways. I would be positive. I would not allow certain television shows to be viewed. I would bake more, cook at home more, speak positive words more. I would be firm, but fair. I would be consistent, but caring. Bard responded to this so well. But the hardest was yet to come. Bard was actually a fairly easy child to raise, and we raised her by the James Dobson method. Discipline immediately, consistently, lovingly, and informatively.
But, as I said, Bard was easy.
Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it. ~Not Your Average Dictionary
When Edison was born, I was confused. I had been confused about how he was conceived, I was confused about when we should tell people that I was pregnant only six months after my first child had been born, and I was confused about when he should be born. The issues have changed, but the confusion has not diminished. With Edison, the parenting books flew out the window, and the discipline became much more serious. He was headstrong, to say the least. Some of his first words were "shubbup!" (shut up) and "goway!" (go away). Some of the things he would do would just break my heart. Some of the things he would do would just melt it. So I plugged away, disciplining, caring, trying to be consistent, trying to be fair, and most often, doing all right. Then along came Monet.
Around the time that I had Monet, I joined a feminist mothers at home e-mail list which had influenced my decision to become an attached parent. Monet was with me all the time. He was either attached at the breast or slung from my hip. I taught him sign language to give him a communication advantage. I tried not to spank, but instead ignored bad behavior and rewarded good behavior. Monet, in his effort to be heard, just made the bad behavior louder. And louder. And I became more and more frustrated, and less and less of a person.
Around this time, Bard and Edison discovered a new, entertaining pasttime. Sibling rivalry. This, I believe, was the beginning of my parental breakdown. Up until this time, I thought I was at least a decent parent. By the time Monet had grown old enough to join in with the sibling battles, I had begun reverting to my old parenting tactics, the ones I had learned as a child. Bullying, spanking, anger, belittling, sarcasm...even a few occassions of slapping. The worst one, I think, was screaming. The older my children got, the more they fought with each other...and the more I hated myself.
Because the rule for me had been to always be fair, but the only way I would ever have been able to accomplish that was to be everwhere at all times or to install a million dollar security system in my home. There was no way I could be fair, and to me, that just didn't seem fair. There was only one thing I could do...stop having children.
Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it. ~Jean Kerr
And then Sweetheart was born.
While Monet had been a planned pregnancy, Sweetheart was a total surprise. Through the whole of my pregnancy, I worried that she would be another boy. It was because my boys were boys that I was having such a hard time. Girls were, in my very simple opinion from my limited experience, easier than boys. I can't begin to tell you how relieved I was when the midwife called to me to look at my baby's face, to see those rosebud lips and to just know. Sweetheart was a girl.
With Sweetheart, I was walking the line between being an attached parent and a conservative Christian parent. There were a lot of changes going on in my life...buying land, selling a house, moving into a tiny cabin, bringing my dad along with me even though I didn't really want to, but felt too guilty and indebted to say "no," and then, later, building our own home, which took the other part of the time that was left when I wasn't trying to keep a 16x24 foot cabin clean while seven people were living there. The one thing I most desperately did NOT need was another child. And that is precisely when I found out that I was pregnant with Baby. It was the worst pregnancy I could have had, from the horrible vomiting, to the kidney stones, to the flu, to my dad having an incapacitating back injury and, consequently, a nasty bicycle accident. I was so not ready to have another child.
And here's where I need to clarify. It's not the child that's the problem. No, not at all. It's totally and completely ME. I don't know how to care for my children. No, it's not like I can't feed them or clothe them. It's just that I haven't learned to talk to them.
But recently, I've been learning to do just that.
I picked up a book that I had tried to read several years ago, a book called How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. I had originally glanced through the cartoons, and then I tossed it aside, maybe even gave it away, because it sounded like a bunch of psychobabble. But this time, I read it. And here it was. Me. Right there on the "don't do it this way" illustration. Again and again and again, I recognized myself. I was amazed. Because, before, when I would read How To books on raising children, I would feel so inadequate because it never told you what to do if you'd already screwed up beyond belief. But this one does. It shows you what you've been doing wrong, and how to do it right.
To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. ~Josh Billings
So now, here I am, faced with a new way to deal with children. Listen to them. Be compassionate. But be firm. Be kind. Be empathetic. Oh, Lord! Doesn't that sound like...like...
...like what Jesus would do?
So here I am, trying to be more like Jesus, and along comes this issue with one of my children, an issue that just smacks me right in the face. It was embarrassing, deceptive, troubling behavior. What was I going to do with it?
And the first thing that came out was this: change back. What you're doing doesn't work. What you're doing is wrong, it's bad, it's damaging. Change back. You're giving them too much leeway. You're giving them too much control. Change back.
We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. ~Stacia Tauscher
And then comes my mother-in-law in her infinite wisdom, listening to me cry about my fears and my humiliations, hearing me insist that I'm doing it all wrong, just when I thought I was doing it right. I tell her how my son has done this unspeakable thing, has done it and another parent had to tell me about it. Another parent whom I fear, who intimidates me, and she tells me these things. My mother in law tells me these two things. First she says, you're humble. Of course you're humble in front of someone who intimidates you. Why be humbled in the presence of someone who doesn't count? Secondly, she tells me that I'm getting changeback messages, and that I need to refuse to accept them. Changeback messages, I say? What are those? She gives me a brief explanation. It's in all the twelve step programs, she tells me. You do something good in life, and someone comes along and tells you that you're doing it wrong. They want you to change back. The husband quits drinking, and the wife, who has nagged him for years to quit drinking, buys him some beer, justifies it. "It's the only pleasure he really has." Why? Because she feels guilt, she feels uncomfortable with his change. She had grown accustomed to his story, to who he is. So she "tells" him to change back. Satan, my mother in law tells me, is giving me a serious changeback message. You're doing something right, she says. Keep it up.
The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles. A shaky child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom. The realization that this is what the child will always need can hit hard. ~Sloan Wilson
I let my boys ride their bikes on the road. My dad wouldn't let me do that. He was afraid. He was afraid, I'm sure, of losing me. Somehow, though, he lost me, but in a different way. He lost me, he lost my mom, and now, he's losing his grandkids.
My son didn't do what he did because I let him ride his bike on the road. He didn't do what he did because I started talking to him like a human being and stopped talking to him like the control freak that I am. He did what he did because he has free will. He did what he did because he's a human boy, with ideas, thoughts, worries, needs, emotions, fears. My son needs my support. He also needs freedom. These are two things I never had.
I will not change back.
Subscribe to:
You might like these posts, too.
