Warmer weather is here, and it just has me wondering...
Who came up with the concept of venturing into the dark, setting a bunch of logs, paper and stuff on fire, giving small children sharp metal sticks, leading the children, in the dark, to the fire, and encouraging them to turn puffs of gelatin and corn syrup into deadly torches of flaming goo? Who came up with that idea? Were they really serious, or was it just a joke to see how many stupid people would actually try such a ridiculous stunt? Like a bad urban legend?
Come on. Let's think about this.
Six year old + dim light of the campfire + metal prongs left in the fire long enough to become a cauterizing rod or a branding iron or both...what good can possibly come of that? The only outcome I can surmise is a mother with a permanent nervous tic and a completely rational fear of small children. And we all need extra help with that now, don't we?
And to add marshmallows to the equation. On their own, in their tepid, straight-from-the-bag state, they're dangerous enough. But then we give them to children--CHILDREN!--and watch them set the things on fire. These simple children, who don't understand the properties of oxygen plus fire, panic and begin to swing the flaming goo wildly about without any concern for the lives and safety of others.
So, I ask you, who came up with this brilliant scheme?
Whoever it was, I can guarantee you this: that person was NOT a mother.
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