In a Pickle

On this day, when it's too hot to do much more than think--and even that's a challenge--I did something so totally wild and crazy that even I can't believe I did it.

I canned pickles.

What better way to spend an incredibly hot and humid day than to add to the heat and humidity by boiling huge pots of water on the stove? I mean, if you're already miserably sticky, there's not much harm in getting even more miserably sticky.

And what could I do, anyway? When life hands you cucumbers, large and green and cool, you make pickles. In this case, it was one of my Amish neighbors who offered me her surplus cukes, a basketful of potential.

Yesterday, I washed, sliced, salted and soaked the cukes, along with onions from the garden and garlic from the store (I attempted to grow my own garlic once and failed miserably. I'll try again someday), and there they sat for the night, their blanket of ice turning me green with envy. I'm not all that interested in being brined, though, so I left them to soak while the fam and I went to friend San's air-conditioned house for the evening (thanks, San!) since ours is still currently un-cool (keep clicking those google ads! I'm already 1/25th of the way there!).

And today, after an adventurous excursion into the deepest depths of the fruit cellar in search of my canning supplies, I came up empty-handed. Funny how every year I have everything to do my canning except that one very important thing, like the canning jars, or the vinegar, or the lids; this year, it was the actual canning pot. The lid was there. The jar rack was there. But the pot itself? Gone. I don't even want to attempt to imagine where it might be and what use it might be serving.

So I packed The Baby into the superheated van (also un-cool due to a bad compressor that would cost half as much as it cost to buy the whole entire vehicle).

Let me say this wonderful thing about Stuff*Mart; it's completely and totally cool, which is to say that as I walked in, a delightful chilly breeze greeted me and wooed me into a false sense of fair-weatherness. While ambling around in there, I actually began to believe that it felt this wonderful everywhere in Ohio.

Of course, I was quite abruptly reminded of the truth the moment I hauled my purchases out to the car. There's no way around it; it's just too doggone hot.

Once home, I started using my mad skills to rinse the cukes, make the syrup and sterilize the jars. Bard and Houdin helped me put the lids on, and soon I was placing water-bath canned pints of pickles on a washcloth on my butcher-block. Just moments after they were out of the pot, I began to hear that incredibly satisfying series of pops that indicate that the jars have sealed. Yes!

We celebrated by making some fresh mint and honey tea, which, of course, required boiling water. But what the heck. It was so very worth it.

Here, for your culinary pleasure, is the recipe I used. Now if you'll excuse me I think I'll go brine myself.

Grandma's Bread and Butter Pickles
from thatsmyhome.com

4 quarts sliced cucumbers

6 white medium onions peeled and cut in thin slices

1/3 C. coarse salt

Do not pare cucumbers, just wash them and cut them in thin slices. I use a crock for these, while preparing. Mix cucumbers, onion (*NOTE: Thicket Dweller added three whole cloves of garlic to this mix) and add salt. Cover with ice. Let set overnight. You may have to add more ice. You want them to stay very cold. When ready to prepare, (REMOVE GARLIC CLOVES) and rinse them very well.

Syrup:

3 C. sugar

1 1/2 t. turmeric

1 1/2 t. celery seed

2 T. mustard seed

3 C. white vinegar

Combine syrup and bring to a boil. When sugar is dissolved, add cucumbers. Heat to boiling. Pack into hot, sterilized jars. Remove air bubbles. Process for 10 minutes in a hot water bath.