When I received the phone call yesterday from an Amish neighbor who wanted a ride, I immediately said, "no." Just a few days before, this neighbor had asked me to take her and her husband to appointments in town. That day, when I had explained to her that I was very busy, I had asked her if there would be anywhere else she would need to go.
"Shopping?" I had asked.
"No. No shopping." She had responded
"Do you have to go anywhere else at all?" I had asked, knowing that sometimes when I've taken Amish "to the store," I'd ended up out all day, stopping to pick up a sister, drop off children, go to the fabric store, stop at the greenhouse...
"No. Nowhere else. My husband's appointment should be five to ten minutes. My appointment is only a half-hour. That's all."
When I picked her up, it turned out that I needed to pick up her husband at work, that the eye appointment was a half-hour long, that she
did go to the grocery store, that her appointment was an hour and a half long, and that, after she came out of the doctor's office without apology, her husband asked if they could get a sandwich at Burger King. I could have said, "no," but I didn't. A quick run through the drive-through wouldn't hurt, I reasoned, my schedule was shot to heck anyway. Imagine my surprise when we pulled into the parking lot of the fast food place and they
unbuckled their seatbelts. They wanted to
go inside!
I know I didn't handle this well. I was steamed, but I didn't say a word. I felt that I was being taken advantage of, even though I do get paid for my time (not enough, in my opinion). Honestly, I felt like the horse. They didn't speak to me more than ten words the whole trip, and when they went in to get their food, they didn't ask me to join them, didn't offer to pick up something for me. So I just stewed while I waited, even though I would have refused the offer. I've given up most fast foods, except the occasional Wendy's chili or baked potato, or the very rare McDonald's salad.
Still, I feel like it wasn't really the Amish lady's fault. She didn't know that her appointment would go long, or her husband's. And she did get the groceries while he was in his appointment, so that really didn't take longer. But I was a bit perturbed that she
knew I was on a schedule and didn't even
apologize. Why did that bother me so? After all, I have no idea what her doctor's appointment was for! She may have just received terrible news! Why couldn't I be
compassionate?
For some reason, I couldn't be. I just felt angry.
So when she called me yesterday and asked me if I had some time, I immediately said "no." After all, I had to get Bard to Algebra class, and we were expecting some very special company (which I'll tell you about later) in the afternoon.
But something niggled at me.
"Where do you need to go?" I asked.
"Just to drop off my sewing machine at Windy Ridge."
"Can we go right now?" I asked, since it was early and I could get it out of the way. Plus, it would give me plenty of time just in case something kept us longer.
"Yes, I suppose."
"And you have no other stops to make?"
"No, I don't," she answered.
I thought about the fact that I really needed a few extra dollars; I'm trying to save money for my kids and I to participate in an Irish Step Dancing class. I thought about my poor, broken sewing machine sitting in the fruit cellar, the machine I bought new last year and then promptly mangled by hitting a seam in a pair of jeans while attempting to make shorts.
"Okay," I said. "I can take you."
I threw all of the trash from the front seat of my husband's Jeep into the back seat. I put my Singer in the way-back. When I picked up my customer, she had two of her children with her. I hadn't planned for that. They'd have to sit on the trash in the back seat. I apologized for the mess. I always apologize for the mess. Even when it's my husband's work vehicle and it's not my mess. Even when it's my kid's bedroom and it's not my mess. Even when it's the cat's mess, who knocked over the plant in my bedroom, or the dog's mess, who chewed the head off of a kitten and left it on the porch. Still, I apologize for it.
"I'm sorry for the mess," I said. She responded forgivingly. I wondered what she was really thinking.
Windy Ridge Sewing is only about fifteen minutes from my house. I was very tempted to do a couple of things I needed to do while I was out, like stop at the bank and visit the new health food store, but I didn't. I didn't want to do the same thing to her that she'd done to me, even though I was sorely tempted. My vengeance likes to niggle at me. My morals almost always win.
When we got to the sewing shop, I pulled my machine from the back. It has a cool little handle on top that sticks out through the cover so I can just pick it up and carry it anywhere. The Amish woman's machine was large and cumbersome, stored in a cardboard box. She already had the machine in her arms when her younger daughter started fussing and refused to take another step. I was standing about fifty feet from them, holding the door open and trying to decide what I could do to help. Most Amish children do not care to be held by English (non-Amish) people and they don't, generally, understand English until they go to school, so it makes it hard to step in and help with the children. I couldn't carry the box, because I had my own machine in my hand. So I let the door go and stepped inside the shop.
"Hello!" I was greeted by a friendly employee, to whom I explained my machine's problem. She began filling out a service ticket, asking for my name, phone number, all of that basic stuff.
"What's the matter with the machine?" she asked. She had such a smiley face, such a pleasant voice.
"Well," I explained, "I don't know. I don't know what's wrong with it, because I don't know what would be right. See, I was in a hurry while hemming some jeans and I hit a seam. It bent the needle, which I replaced, but now my bottom stitch is all loopy and the thread wraps around the bobbin, over and over and over. I'm pretty sure that's not right. But since I don't know how to sew, I don't know what's wrong."
She laughed. In that moment, something happened, something that's missing from most service industry and sales professions. Two human beings communicated, connected. She cared. And then, she set down her pen, pushed the service card aside, and began tinkering with my machine.
As she was evaluating the problem, she made comments about my machine. They sell Berninas. Mine's a Singer. I obviously didn't buy it from them; the bright red Stuff*Mart clearance tag was still stuck to the bottom. But the comments weren't insulting. Instead, they were along the line of, "Oh! You have a needle threader! That's nice! And a buttonholer. And a serging foot." This was all as a foreign to me as the Penn-Dutch that my fare's child was now speaking to her mother as the mother explained her problem to the other shop employee.
"I don't know how to sew," I admitted. "My mother never taught me, though she sewed all the time. We didn't have home-ec in school. I've been mostly relying on the kindness of people to tell me what they know. I know it's ridiculous that I live in this community and don't sew, but..."
"I'll show you how to use these things," she smiled as she kept tinkering with the thing.
By this time, my fare was finished filling out her service ticket. She was standing with her two daughters looking...well, looking ready to go. But my sewing machine was being toted to the back of the shop. I followed.
"This plate right here is catching the thread," the employee was telling the serviceman. "And I think this bobbin case is out of place, too." The serviceman pushed aside the machine he was working on and pulled mine in front of him. I ran my fingers along an old, metal-bodied Bernina in a beautiful emerald green color, wondering if it was someone's regular machine or someone's great-grandmother's antique.
Before I knew it, my machine was fixed. The tension was adjusted, the bobbin was replaced, and I was sitting at a table watching the employee as she instructed me on the use of my needle-threader, a quite cool feature, now that I know how it works. My fare had taken her daughters to the porch to run back and forth.
The employee explained all of my stitches and how to use them. She demonstrated the button-holer, the serger, and how to set the stitch lengths. She recommended a better thread, but other than that, she made no effort to sell me anything. And then she packed up my machine for me.
As I headed to the counter, I kind of feared what my bill would be. I hadn't expected to have to pay so soon. Last time I brought a machine in here, it had been weeks before it had been ready, and it cost me a LOT of money. But it had been an old machine and still hadn't worked after I'd brought it home.
"Are these things yours?" the employee asked me, referring to a couple of items on the counter as I pulled out my checkbook.
"No," I answered. "I'm not buying anything."
She paused for a moment, and said, "Then what are you doing?"
I was a bit taken aback, confused. "I'm paying for the service. What's my bill?"
"Just go," she said. "You don't owe anything."
I stammered. "Are...are you sure?"
"Yes, I am. And when we have a beginner's sewing class, I'll let you know."
I gushed my thanks and hauled my Singer out the door and to my car, where my fare was waiting with her children.
"I'm sorry for your wait," I said. "Thanks for your patience. I've had this machine in my fruit cellar for six months. I hit a seam and apparently knocked something out of place. But it's fixed now! And they didn't even charge me..."
Her eyes grew wide and she shouted, "What?!?"
I chuckled. "Yes! Isn't that amazing? So, thanks for calling me this morning."
I stepped into car, and in my excitement, I yammered most of the ride. When I gave her a moment to speak, she told me why she had taken her machine in to have it fixed. She'd been in a hurry, wasn't looking, and she'd hit a pin. Bent the needle. And now, the bottom stitch was making big loops and the thread was wrapping around the bobbin.
Oh, my, I thought.
Just like mine.And while she needed it right away, it wouldn't be done for weeks. She could have had them fix it today, she said, but it would have cost her another twenty-five dollars.
I was floored.
I only charged her five dollars for the twenty-dollar ride. She'd waited for me, after all, and I'd been given a gift. Spread the wealth, I guess.
When I got home, I told Bo all about my blessing. As I thought about it, I realized that it was very much undeserved. I had a bad attitude about going, was in a hurry, went purely for selfish reasons, and didn't help my fare when she was struggling with her daughter. Had I opened the door for her, she may have been served by the employee and I'd not have received a mini-lesson and a free repair.
"There's absolutely no moral lesson in there anywhere," my husband said.
But I think there is. It's called unmerited favor.
That's just grace.
And I can definitely use a bit of that once in a while.