The day is new and fresh. Now what will I do with it? I have my plans, of course, as I normally do when I wake to the sun peaking over the hill. I have a lovely view of it from my bedroom window; on most days, I'm happy to greet it, especially lately as I've made the decision to minimize my stress by staying home more, making a commitment to say, "I'm sorry, but I'm not able to do that." I don't say no to everything, but I have cut way, way back on the things that I do as an individual and the things we do as a family outside of our home. Gone are the days of rushing around looking for choir uniforms, or making hour-long drives to this or that organization, or spending days at a time preparing classes for other homeschooled children who choose not to do their assignments anyway. My focus needs to be on my family, on my health, and on the things that I know I can dedicate my time to fully without stressing everyone out.

So, my days are less stressful now. I know that who I am is not wrapped up in my performances. I can have meaningful relationships with people without "proving myself" through committees and organizations and meetings and clubs and societies. And now, if you ask me to do something and I say, "yes," you can know that I mean it fully.

Which leaves many of my days open and flexible. I like that.

Today, for example, is Saturday. Last year, I would have woken on any given December Saturday with a feeling of dread. What long car ride or unpleasant commitment do I have to greet today? Moreover, regardless of how well I do my task today, someone will not be pleased and I will feel that I've failed. What a depressing way to greet the day! How many things I put on the back burner, like teaching my children basic household tasks, or writing an essay, or making meals at home so that I could "be there" for this or that organization, job or club.

But today, I sit at home inhaling the aroma of my son's breakfast-making--pancakes and bacon-- and listening to the sounds of the dryer running, a blessing that has come about because I stopped saying "not now" to the nine-year-old daughter who kept begging me to teach her to do laundry. She has become a maniac, a laundry-doing machine; she sorts, washes, dries, folds, hangs, matches and puts away clothes better than I every have.

Last night, Bo and I were marveling over Sweetheart's gift as a laundress. When she came into the room, we decided to let her choose what the family would do for dinner that night. She didn't know, wasn't comfortable choosing. Couldn't we ask someone else? Couldn't we take a vote? We explained to her that we were giving her this choice because she had done such a fabulous job taking over the laundry chores. She didn't need a reward, she insisted. She likes doing laundry.

She likes doing laundry.

She likes it.

She. LIKES. it.

And so, doing laundry is its own reward. No other reward is needed.

She likes sorting the whites from the darks.

She likes starting the machine.

She likes putting in the laundry detergent and the fabric softener.

She likes the routine of putting the wash into the dryer.

She likes taking the warm clothes from the dryer, smelling their freshness, folding them and ushering them off to their proper locations.

She finds the reward in the enjoyment of the task.

This is the lesson I'm trying to learn. I will say yes to those things I've been gifted to do, those things that bring others joy, certainly, but that bring me joy because the doing of them is my reward. Of course I have to do some unpleasant tasks, but I'm learning to even enjoy those, and to reap my reward from the task itself, not from what others think of it.

This morning, I have a Saturday, and I have a to-do list that is dotted with reasonable expectations, planning ahead, and relishing the process.

And tomorrow will be new, and fresh, and I will not dread it.

Goals for a Homelearning Year

So, now that I have one daughter in college, things have changed quite a bit. One of the things I realized over the past two years that I promised I would change once she graduated was the amount of busy-ness we've been enslaved to. Running, running, running, and pretty soon, here's a stay-at-home mom who no longer stays at home. That means stress for everyone.

At the end of last school year, I made a commitment that I would say "no" more often, that I would stay at home more (a LOT more), that I would not take any jobs--part-time or otherwise, and that I would relax a bit so that we could have an even keel through the whole year, not a swan dive at the beginning and a nose dive toward the middle, leaving us all gasping for air by the end.

The extent of my planning for this school year included one sheet of legal paper, three mason jars and a new library card.

The legal paper looks something like this:


While I know it looks like scrawl to you, it's gold to me. Here. Let me see if I can translate for you:

Goals for This School Year:

*Read as often as possible
*Stay home as often as possible
*Do a lot of nature study/drawing
*Practice music often
*Art classes (talk to Fred D about this)
*Math curriculum--Teaching Textbooks, maybe?
*Keep journals
*Teach girls to read
*Sing together
*Take walks/ride bikes
*Have breakfast every morning (yes, sometimes we get so busy that we don't do this together)
*Take turns making Dad's lunch
*Keep regular bedtimes (not sure we can do this one with much success. I'm a sucker for learning opportunities, even if they pop up at midnight or 2 a.m.)
*Take vitamins
*Consumer math for Houdin
*Volunteer
*Lots of photos
*Houdin drives
*Dates with each child
*Write letters to people we love
*Cook together
*Five in a Row for The Baby
*Limit computer time
*Take day trips

And Most of All:

RELAX

Many of these things are continuations of what we do on a regular basis. Some of them, like getting walks or limiting computer time, are goals.

Because the computer, as you may know, is an issue--a distraction--for many of us. Including me.

So what I've done is fill a jar with a whole lot of little pieces of paper. Each piece of paper is a chore or activity for the person who owns the jar. Each item gives that person a number of points. Those points earn them clues. Those clues lead them to letters. Those letters make up a word. That word is the password for the day. That password gains the person access to the computer. Sometimes they just get the letters. Sometimes they have to go hunting for them. Sometimes the password is five letters long. Sometimes it's ten or twelve.

So what kinds of things do they have on their papers? Here's a smattering:

Wash a car (2)
Write or copy one poem (1)
Take a walk (1)
Dust your bedroom (1)
Do a nice thing for someone (1)
Play the drums (1)
Make rosemary bread (1)
Pull weeds (2)
Harvest cherry tomatoes (2)
Pick apples off the ground for 10 minutes (2)
Read a chapter of a book (1)
Take some outdoor photos (1)
Hug a sibling (1)
Take a shower (2)
Make sugar water for the hummingbirds (1)
Draw something (1)
Draw something from nature (1)
Do 5 situps (1)
Run around the house 1x (1 each time)
Burn the trash (1)
Dust one room (1)
Listen to a podcast that Mom gives you (1)
Clean the kitchen floor (2)
Clean 3 windows, inside and out (2)
Study 3 things in nature (1)
Do something nice for someone (2)
Hug a sibling (1)
Make someone smile (1)
Read one chapter of a nonfiction book (1)
Clean up a mess (2)
Cuddle with an animal (1)
Tell someone you love them (1)
Vacuum the bedrooms (2)
Scrub the sinks (2)
Organize shoes (1)
Clean the glass doors and windows (2)
Fill the birdfeeders (1)
Lay in the hammock for ten minutes (1)
Read your little sibling a story (1)
Write a letter (1)
Collect and identify five leaves (2)
Listen to a chapter of a story read by Mom (1)
Do a math project (1)
Find a location on the map given to you by Mom (1)

Each person has a list that's customized for them, so they already know how to do the things they're asked to do. Some things are easy. Some are a little harder. Some might take a second. Some might take all day. Any suggestions would be appreciated!

Read aloud books for this year:
Little House on the Prairie Series (no, shamefully, I have not read all of these aloud to my daughters yet. The eldest, who is in school, did read them all, and we quite lived on them for a while, but the youngers haven't had the pleasure of these in the fullest)
American Girl (these were Bard's soul history books when she was young Am. Girl used to have such a GREAT history focus when it first began, complete with a history club for girls. This all ended when they were bought out by Mattel).
Swallows and Amazons Series (we've just finished the first book and are moving on to the second)
Tales from Shakespeare or Beautiful Stories from Shakespeare
Charlotte's Web (we're halfway through this one)
There are many others that are part of Ambleside Online that we will also work through. Reading will be our biggest focus.

And that's it. That's our planning for this year. No more lesson books or elaborate lists or large bills for curriculum orders. No more expecting the same performance levels from everyone.

From now on, theme is RELAX.

::: from the green book :::

Last night, Bard and I went to see Kirk Cameron (Growing Pains, Left Behind) speak at B****n High School. The worship, with Jeff Deyo of Sonic Flood, was very good. It made me miss being in church. I've felt for so long that, because we had a good worship foundation when the kids were little, they'd absorb that. But last night, Bard said she barely remembers attending SFChurch. It makes me sad because I felt like we put a lot of work into SFC for the sake of our kids and now they don't even remember it. While Bard and I were there, I looked into church services at BCF and think we may visit there.

Yesterday:
*worked around cabin
*planted strawberry bed
*Bo mowed lawn
*went to an auction
*got three kitties (pussywillow, chloe and tasha)
(rest of page destroyed by water)

Today:
*Cleaned cupboards
*Cleaned windows
*Hung birdfeeders
*Bo moved tent to the barn
*Bo fixed the grill
*Ate hamburgers for dinner
*Watched the sunset

Ideas:
Guestbook
Bucket for dirty silverware
Bring down wardrobe (for clothes and fridge)
Make a little sign for the outhouse (instructions for use)
Make a checklist for cabin
Corkboard for inside cupboards
Chalkboard
Get Ken to move dirt, grind stumps
Pole barn for cars/workshop/freezer/washer
Cupboard around water heater and next to cupboards with bin for trash
Clean/stain cabin
Support beam
Shower w/3/4 wall on corner of cabin
S'mores basket
Eucalyptus wreath in outhouse