Snoopy

Snoopy, the 80 pound lap dog who has to be eased into meeting new people, barks loudly at people she doesn't know and eats kittens. She's a beagle-basset mix which also makes her the perfect porch dog, because her long, velvety ears hang over the edge of the front porch where she lays, unmoving, most of the day, just like Fletcher from the Something Queer books. She's probably the dog who gets the most comments from visitors. "Love your hound dog!"

Four Dogs

When the Man waked up he said, 'What is Wild Dog doing here?'

And the Woman said, 'His name is not Wild Dog any more, but the First Friend, because he will be our friend for always and always and always.'"
- Rudyard Kipling

"No matter how little money and how few possesions you own, having a dog makes you rich." - Louis Sabin

I never would have thought we'd be a four-dog family. Four dogs is way too many. Four dogs is stupidly too many.

Growing up, I had one cat and one dog and never felt that it would be right to have more than one. After all, I was an only child. One of each was the exact right thing to have. How could you love them enough if you have more than one? How could you devote the time and attention that each needed if you had more than one? How could they be unique and special if you had more than one?

Whoever said you can't buy happiness
forgot little puppies. ~Gene Hill

So we started out with just one dog. He was unique, sweet, and so very special. From the moment I saw him in the pet store, where my then 14 year old brother-in-law convinced me that it was okay to take home a puppy, I knew that this little golden guy was my doggie soul-mate. I dragged Bohemian back to the pet store later that night to buy the puppy I'd already named Gordon and took him home to be our one and only very special family dog forever.

But I accidentally hung that one. Long story, very painful. I'll spare you the details. We'll just say that what Bohemian said is right..." If you give a dog a long enough rope... " and we'll leave it at that.

"Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in."

- Mark Twain

It took me a while to get over the death of Gordon. I just kept thinking about how it was all my fault, how, because I'd been so careless, I had dashed all of the plans I'd had for him. Romping in the fields (though we had no fields at the time), accompanying my kids down to the fishin' hole (that didn't exist in our neighborhood) and taking long walks on country roads with us (even though we lived on a very busy road in the suburbs, which was the reason for tying him up in the first place, which was the cause of his hanging).

Labradors are lousy watchdogs. They usually bark when there is a stranger about, but it is an expression of unmitigated joy at the chance to meet somebody new, not a warning.
~Norman Strung

It was Edison's third birthday that finally inspired me to research what would truly be the best kind of dog for our family. After reading about all of the different dog breeds, buying a few dog breed books at the bookstore, and talking to different breeders, I brought home a dopey, four-month old black lab the week before we travelled to Chicago to help prepare for my sister-in-law's wedding, a time when he wasn't old enough to be left alone but was just old enough to tear the wallpaper off of my in-laws' bathroom walls (Note to my mother-in-law, Kathie: I'm very sorry for what Indy did to your bathroom).

For the fifth year in succession I have pored over the catalogue of dogs in the show at Madison Square Garden without finding a dog named Rover, Towser, Sport, Spot or Fido.Who is the man who can call from the back door at night: "Here, Champion Alexander of Clane o' Wind-Holme! Here, Champion Alexander of Clane o' Wind-Holme"?

- Westbrook Pegler

The dog had no name (well, he did have a name, but we didn't like the name "Oscar," which reminded me of hot dogs) until we took him to the Indiana Dunes where he romped excessively in the lake and then collapsed on the beach, seemingly comatose. We thought he was going to join Gordon in Great Doggie Heaven. But he continued his dead-dog-like state only until he miraculously recovered his strength and was ready to jump up and do it all again. That's when we decided to name him Indiana, after the Indiana Dunes. We also thought it was a clever dog name, since it was mentioned in Indiana Jones ("We named the *dog* Indiana!"). He would be our one and only, very special, family dog forever.

Until one day about five years later, when our pastor and his wife mentioned the sweet yellow labs their son was selling to raise money to buy his new bride a bedroom suite. They wondered if we might want one. Well, we thought, Edison has a dog. Wouldn't it be nice for Bard to have a dog, too? It's for a good cause. And labs are such social creatures, you know? Indy really should have a pal. So we brought Nutmeg home and she would be our...other...very special family dog forever.

Happiness to a dog is what lies on the other side of a door. - Charleton Ogburn Jr.

But Meggy had wanderlust. We decided not to have her spayed because we thought we might want to become professional breeders. Before long, Meggy was a walking hormone. Even though she and Indy were both indoor dogs, she continually begged to go outside. Once out, she refused to stay in the fenced-in yard with Indy, who had officially become an "it" at six months old, and she decided to seek greener pastures and a more productive companion, digging new holes as soon as we'd fill the old ones and actually chewing through a section of lattice to get out of the yard. One fast-moving car, four sobbing children and a huge vet bill later, we were back to one dog.

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. ~Edith Wharton

One September day after we moved to the country, we were enjoying the activity of the local farmer's auction when there came an extremely tall Amishman named Big Ben. Big Ben was toting a dog kennel full of sweet, tiny puppies--toy fox terrier/jack russell mix.

Monet was smitten. I thought about taking home the little guy cradled in Monet's arms. The tiny creature looked just like a min-pin, the price a mere twenty bucks (is there every a "cheap" dog???). At the thought, my legs began to shake. I thought about the two dead dogs in Great Doggie Heaven. I thought about how Bohemian would react. He'd already told me "No more animals!" after I had, week after week, brought home chickens, guinea pigs, rabbits, goats, guineas, pheasants, pigeons, ducks and kittens. But I have a disease, I've since discovered, that causes me to make impulse decisions when it comes to living things. I picked up my cell phone and told Bohemian, through the spotty reception, that I had found a puppy who was just s-o-o-o cute, that he would be a great pet for Monet (who has an animal-acquisition disease, too), and that it was such a deal at a mere twenty bucks! "Whatever you think is best..." he said, his resigned voice trailing off as I lost the call and was left to interpret his response. Legs still shaking, I handed Big Ben my last twenty dollars and went home with that sweet little pooch. We named him Jack, after C.S. Lewis, and he is one of the best friends a little boy could want. He sleeps under Monet's covers, follows the kids to the creek, the neighbors' houses, the bakery.... He comes when you call and does cute tricks. Of course, he also kills chickens and chases rabbits, but I'm still so very glad we took the chance and brought Jack home with us. And I'm so very glad that we've kept him alive.

"Every boy should have two things: a dog, and a
mother willing to let him have one" - Anonymous

Two dogs is a nice balance. I could have been fine with two dogs. They were actually a good set, in a humorous kind of way. This big, clumsy, gentle giant of a black labrador and this tiny, rabbit-and-chicken-eating bundle of energy of a terrier. Two dogs. A good balance. Big and little. Yin and yang.

So when one of Bohemian's coworkers wanted to find her dog a better home on someone's country farm than she was giving her on her city lot, I was very clear about my intentions. I would do the co-worker this favor: Snoopy could come to us just to spend the weekend. We would keep her for a few days, see if we could find a home for her on a nice Amish farm, and if we couldn't, she would go back.

When Bohemian dragged her down the footpath to our cabin in the freezing rain, and I say dragged bccause she was absolutely adamant that she was NOT going to come willingly, I knew that she would be going back to her lot in the city. She growled at the kids, hid under the table, and was generally very anti-social. She caused us a panic attack when she ran away from home the first night, causing us to comb the neighborhood and put up fliers from dawn to dusk. As the darkness fell and I was certain I was going to have to call Bohemian's co-worker to tell her we'd definitely given Snoopy a home in the country, the silly dog slinked back to the cabin as if she'd always lived here, her huge tummy leaving a belly-shaped path in the snow as she waddled.

Cowardly dogs bark loudest. - John Webster

I now know that Snoopy is very shy, that coming into a house full of strangers was enough to cause her deep doggie depression. I know this because she weasled her way into our hearts over the course of that weekend and endeared herself to my dad, who also lives with us and refused to let her go back to the city.

So now, we have an 80 pound lap dog who has to be eased into meeting new people, barks loudly at people she doesn't know and eats kittens. She's a beagle-basset mix which also makes her the perfect porch dog, because her long, velvety ears hang over the edge of the front porch where she lays, unmoving, most of the day just like Fletcher from the Something Queer books. She's probably the dog who gets the most comments from visitors. "Love your hound dog!"

After a year and a half, I'd become fairly certain that our dog number was set, that we didn't need or have want for another dog until Indy, who will be 10 in March, goes to meet his Maker. And I would still feel this way today.

If it weren't for FreeCycle.

"My dog is usually pleased with what I do, because she is not infected with the concept of what I "should" be doing." - Lonzo Idolswine

So far, through FreeCycle, I have given away two Zebra Finches and have acquired the following: two easy chairs, a very decent working refrigerator, a dishwasher (I don't know whether it's working or not because we haven't installed it yet), an antique upright piano, two old school lockers, and two potted plants.

I was supposed to be putting in a new lawn with Bohemian when I snuck inside to check my e-mail and saw the following FreeCycle post.

"FREE TO GOOD HOME: Black lab pup about four months old."

I resisted the urge to open the e-mail and read it...for about two seconds. When I replied to the post, it was only to encourage the woman who was having a difficult time maintaining her sanity after purchasing two lab puppies that were destroying her seed-selling business by uprooting and eating all of her flowers. I wanted to give her some advice, to let her know that crating a pup really works, that I've used the method on several occasions, and that it's the best way to go. Much better than hanging or locking the pup in your in-laws' bathroom (Kathie, did I ever apologize for that? If not, I'm so very sorry...)

Somehow, accidentally, my fingers typed:

"We live on a farm, have an older black lab, an 'adolescent' female bassett and a 3-year-old jack russell/toy fox terrier mix, all spayed/neutered. I'd love to take your little guy if you don't change your mind or can't find a more fantastic home for him. We're definitely a dog family. Our dogs live right along with us. We use gentle training methods and crates. We don't live close to the road, and they have plenty of room to romp and play. "

And then, I accidentally hit "send."

Within twenty minutes, the reply came back.

"OK Where do you live LOL, I had several replies, yours sounded the best to me and also you were the first one (by the time in my inbox), so you win both ways here LOL"

And then I slunk back outside to continue working on the yard.

To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious
afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring - it was peace. ~Milan Kundera

Bohemian was trying to fix the old John Deere mower, again, so I sat on the hill to watch him. It was so hot. After a few minutes, he came and sat beside me, wiping his brow and shaking his head. As usual, the dogs started to congregate around the humans who were now at their eye level and not moving.

"Would you like another lab?" I asked, as if asking him if he'd like a big glass of ice cold, homemade lemonade. It really was a fair question. We've talked about getting another lab since Indy started sporting a grey beard. We've talked about getting another lab lots of times...when Indy passes to that Great Doggie Heaven to join Meggie and Gordon.

"Sure," he answered, "When we lose Indy."

"I mean now..." I ventured. I knew that I had to explain. Fast.

"AwomanonFreeCyclepostedablacklabpuppy.He'spurebred,butshegottwoand can'thandlethemboth.She'sgivingoneawayandIaccidentallyresponded andshejustreplied..."

Bohemian reached his hand out to pat Indy's old, black, greying head. Snoopy and Jack pushed their heads under his hand. Indy resignedly looked on. "Did she say we could have him?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Well, when do we pick him up?"

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your
dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion." - Unknown

So now we have four whole dogs. I never thought there would be room in my heart for four whole dogs, but I've surprised myself. Or maybe the dogs have surprised me. Each one has a different personality, a different set of endearing qualities that makes each a very important part of our family: Indy, with his calm, mature, unconditional love; Jack, with his boundless energy and wiley ways; Snoopy, with her guarded enthusiasm and possessive spirit, and now Poochie (who isn't allowed to have a anme until Bard returns from Chicago), who's like watching Indy come home for the first time all over again. I guess dogs are kind of like a cross between children, snowflakes and flowers...they're so darn cute, no two are alike and you can never have too many.

Well, unless you have five dogs. Five dogs, without a doubt, is way too many. :-)

"How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers!" ~Mother Theresa of Calcutta

Edison's Magic

Edison has been going to the bakery two to three times a week to perform magic tricks for customers entering and exiting the bakery. This was a big deal for me, to let him go, but I've been doing well about allowing him to go after all of his chores are done. Each morning, he's responsible for making his bed, straightening his room, feeding and watering the goats and chickens and then doing whatever else I ask him to do, like sweeping the garage or carrying something up or down the stairs for me. This morning, I asked him to clean the refrigerator, and he did an awesome job. He fell off of his bike yesterday and scraped up his hand, so he wasn't able to wash the shelves and drawers in the sink, but I did it, he dried them and then put them back. It's wonderful to open the fridge and not be afraid of what might jump out at you.

Learning to use the phone

After listening to my children scream into the phone one too many times, "MOM!!! MOM!!! THE PHONE IS FOR YOU!!! MOOOOOOMMMM!!!" while I am repeating helplessly on the other phone, "I've got it. Hey. I've got it. I'VE GOT IT!" I finally decided to teach the children to use the intercom system on the phone. We brought each of the cordless phones into one room, along with the cell phone, and I called our home number. I showed Monet and Sweetheart how you answer the phone politely, press the "hold" button, and then transfer it to the appropriate floor's phone. When the party you are transfering to answers, say, "Mom (or whomever), the phone is for you," and then hang up so that I can talk. We first practiced by making the phone calls while we are all in my room, then we went to separate rooms, then to separate floors, and then I had people outside of the house call in. They both did really well! I think that's the end of the screaming into the phone! YEAH!

Shakin' Down the Acorns

Whispering Hills RV Park in Shreve hosted a music fest called Shakin' Down the Acorns. They had an open mic night on Friday where there were just a ton of incredibly talented and FUN musicians sharing old-time, celtic, folk and bluegrass music. On Saturday, we had a birthday party to go to during the day, and then we headed back to the festival where they had a band contest. There were so many very neat people there! One of the neat things that happened was that when I walked in I recognized the face of a boy whom I hadn't seen for 8 years, and then had only seen briefly. But I knew it was him! I turned to Bard and said, "See the boy in the white shirt?" She nodded. "I was there when his little brother was born!" I'm not sure she believed me, but sure enough, I found his mom, Kathy, sitting at a picnic table and, while her back was turned, sat right beside her, touching her knee. She looked at me puzzled, and then her eyes widened and she gave me a big hug. :-) Keep in mind that she and I haven't seen each other since the day her son James was born, nine years ago! It was so wonderful to see her again, as her labor had been my first and one of my favorites. I don't believe any other birth even came close to being as memorable as hers was. It turns out that her four boys, ages 14 down to 8, all play instruments and had just finished playing in the band contest, so I missed their playing. But we were able to spend the evening reaquainting ourselves with them and finding that they only live about 30 minutes from us now, farming, selling organic produce and homeschooling (organic learning). We exchanged e-mail addresses and phone numbers and I hope to invite them out so their boys can play for our open house in October.

After the band contest, there was a concert by a man named Robin Kessinger, a national flatpick guitar champion, which was really fun and inspiring. When he finished, a jam session was formed, a caller came to the front of the room, and there was DANCING. Line dancing, square dancing, reels, contradancing...it was SOOO much fun! I couldn't get Edison or Monet to dance, and Sweetheart wouldn't dance in the group, but off to the side, and Bard wouldn't dance at first. But Bohemian and I started right away and had a blast! Then Bohemian took Baby and I begged Bard to dance with me. She did, and then she didn't stop! She loved it! Given that Kathy's boys were all dancing, too, and that there were only a couple of young girls there (including Edison's fiddle teacher and her sister), Bard was a pretty popular dance partner. :-) We had such a fantastic time, I think it will be in our regular schedule to attend dances and jam sessions from now on.

Intended Plans

Today the kids and I sat down with all of our favorite learning resources anddecided on what we'd like to begin learning. What I realize is that there'sno shortage of stuff to learn, just a shortage of time and energy! I thinkwe came to a good balance, which I'll soon be posting Basically, I just decided to have a few things that we do daily, like copy poetry for handwriting and spelling practice, do some creative writing, keep a journal, do math drills or worksheets, reading lesson for Sweetheart and whatever else we happen to hit. We used a journal to make lists of what we'd like to accomplish this year, what we'd like to do each day, each week, each month,when we feel like it, when we're waiting for something or someone, and all of the topics we'd like to learn about. I also hope to go through the No-Cost, Low Cost Curriculum book for Edison, Monet and Sweetheart so that I can have an approach that feels comfortable. We're planning to subscribe to and use aleks.com to tutor in math. I will also go through my skills evaluation for the homeschool, part of The Weaver by Rebecca Avery, and see how we're doing. As far as "boxed" curricula, I really don't have any. We will probably use Saxon Math for the younger kids, Beautiful Feet history books, because I have them, we're thinking about having a Konos day once a week since I have the Konos book, and I want to go through both Five in a Row and The Prairie Primer with the younger kids.These are our plans, all very ambitious. This is more of a plan than I've done in the past couple of years because of our building process, and I'm sure it will change as we change, as our schedules change, as we find different materials, and as we burn out. But, hopefully, this will be our learning path.

How Do I Start the First Day???

This post was written by veteran homeschooler, Norma Curry in response to a new homeschooler who wondered how to start her first day of home education. I thought it was absolutely excellent advice, so I asked Norma's permission to republish it here. So, with her blessing, here is Norma's advice:

The beauty of home education is that you get to decide what kind of scheduling works for you and your family. If you have early birds in your family you can begin your day early (lucky you!), and if you are like more of us and have kids who would rather sleep than breathe you will probably begin your day late. Teens are definitely prone to the latter.If you have things that your student must do at any time of day, like mucking stables, or getting to practice ice for skating, or the gym for gymnastics, or fencing class, or to an art class or cello lesson, then you can arrange your schedule around those things.

If you must work part of the day you can arrange your direct interaction with your child around your work schedule. And your child can do more self-directed learning activities, too, giving you more freedom.

If you have a child who loves discipline and routine then you will probably devise a disciplined and routine oriented learning schedule. If you have a very creative type learner then you will probably go for a more ecclectic mode of learning. All are viable and all can work, depending on the learner.

Remember that learning does not only take place while reading a textbook or "doing" school work. Learning is all around us, everywhere, all the time:

• in the kitchen;
• in the workshop;
• in the backyard garden or bird feeders;
• on hikes in the woods;
• helping grandma make a quilt;
• singing in a choir;
• dancing;
• taking care of animals;
• volunteering;
• hanging out at the library;
• watching movies and educational videos;
• traveling;
• reading;
• writing;
• watching PBS;
• doing research at the computer;
• visiting a museum;
• going on lots of different field trips;
• organizing events and activities;
• doing art projects;
• in clubs and organizations;
• in sports and recreational activities;
• and so on.

So be sure to count ALL your instructional hours. You will be amazed!

Learning does not have to come packaged in textbooks and workbooks unless you have a child who really enjoys that kind of thing. If so then you might start out doing lots of "school at home" type activities. If not then you will be fighting all the time to get your child to do things he or she simply does not want to do, and, truth be told, does not have to do to learn. And forcing a child to do something is not conducive to good learning.

Ecclectic learning does not eliminate excellent learning options. Start out spending lots of time at the library. Find out about any programs for homeschoolers they might have. And there are always other programs for kids after school and on weekends. Check with your local parks and recreation folks to see what they are offering; again, often there are classes for homeschoolers. And then follow your child's interests and organize activities that feed those interests. Learning does not have to be painful or boring or sitting in a chair at a table.

The best learning is hands-on so you can help your child find activities that she enjoys and that inspire him to want to learn more.

Plan visits to interesting places whenever you can:

• go to the Renaissance Fair;
• visit your local dairy, factory, bakery, food processing plant;
• attend historical re-enactments.
• Buy one museum or special facilities membership per year (or more if you can afford them) and attend all the great events available to members in these facilities. These might include:

• the Cincinnati Art Museum;

  the Taft Museum;

  The Cincinnati Museum Center ($55/year for a family membership,
  special
  to home educators!);

  the Newport Aquarium;the brand new Freedom
  Center;

  the Contemporary Art Center;

  the Berringer Crawford Museum;

  Heritage Village Museum;

  and many others

If your child already has special interests then further support those interests:

• join a rock and minerals group;
• join a group into fossils, like Dry Dredgers;
• join 4-H and do projects, whether or not you plan to show them at the county or state fairs;
• join a club for any sport;
• join an astronomy group;
• and if you can't find a group form one of your own and tell others about it.

Scheduling? Take your pick. The day is yours and no one else has any right to tell you how to organize it. Figure out what is best for you, your student, your family, and go from there. Generally you will do lots of tweaking and adjusting as you go along. My daughter started her first job at 12 and has been working ever since, so some of her scheduling had to revolve around her work, and still does. She also skates everyday, so again, her scheduling often revolves around when she can get ice time. And she has, over the years, taken many classes. We then had to work her schedule, and mine, around those classes.

Basically home education is a juggling act. The difference is that you have far more time in which to juggle everything. You do not lose that big 6-8 hour chunk of each day that most kids spend sitting in school, plus getting to and from school. And that really makes a difference, stretches out all your options. Give yourself some time to feel your way through what works best for you. Never assume! Just because something works for someone else does not mean that it will for you. And just because the folks in public or parochial school do it that way does not mean it is the right way, or the only way to do it.

Stay open to new ideas. Have fun! Look at every situation you encounter every day and ask yourself what you are learning, or what you could be learning from that situation.

• Do math at the grocery store, or on any kind of shopping trip, or when planning family travel.
• Do science in the kitchen or with household cleaning, or in the backyard.
• Do literature in the car with books on tape.
• Or listen to classical music, or foreign language lessons as you travel in your car.
• These days you can even have personal DVD players in the car so each kid can watch good educational DVDs while you drive anywhere, or while waiting in the doctor's or dentist's office.
• Check out my recent posting about how to get hundreds of free educational DVDs.

Relax! No one is keeping tabs on you. No one is going to come in and tell you what you have to do or when you have to do it. Find your own rhythmn. Allow some time to "deschool" for a while. And then do whatever works best for you. That is what home education is all about.

Written by Norma Curry

SoYouWanna improve your table manners?

SoYouWanna improve your table manners?

Here is a site that can teach children (and adults) table manners in a quick and "for dummies" style.

Theatre Meeting

We attended a meeting last night for the arts council's theatre project for Make a Difference Day. They're planning an hour long presentation with three vignettes about history in our county. Bard and Edison attended. We had a discussion about homeschooling with the meeting leader, as he had been homeschooled his 6th and 7th grade years. We also discussed opportunities and career goals, and talked about how things change and you really never know what your career will be. He said he wanted to have a career in radio, and is now an actor and writes for the local papers. We also discussed historical theatre in the area, and he gave us some good ideas of shows to attend.

Excusal Letter

Yesterday, August 26th, I received my excusal letter from compulsory education for this year.

Edison's Scooter

Edison decided that, now that he's making money by doing magic tricks at the bakery, he will begin to save money for an electric scooter. Bohemian and I both had separate talks with him about how he will spend his money, including discussions of how to determine what you really want to do with your money and the importance of honoring your parents when you spend your money. We explained to him that "his" money is not actually his at all and is only in his pocket because we allow him to go to the bakery and don't make him pay his way through life just yet. We came to the conclusion, mutually, that he will keep half and spend half of the money he makes. I think he'll be amazed when he sees how quickly he can save money.

We told him that he is to do some research and write a report about scooters, asking others their opinion about buying scooters and doing research about particular makes and models. Bohemian seemed to feel that any scooter that would cost $100-150 would not get you very far before the battery needed to be recharged. Right now, Edison is riding his bike to and from the bakery, and I told him that, if he does buy a scooter, he needs to make an agreement with me that he will continue to ride his bike to the bakery. I'm so thrilled that he's getting exercise daily, and I don't want him to give that up.

Bard's First Job

When Bard realized how soon her China money would be due, she began a plan of action. One of the first things she did was go to some of the neighbors and offer to do odd jobs. Yesterday one of the neighbors called and asked if Bard could come and scrub her porch and weed her flower beds. Bard spent most of yesterday and a couple of hours today doing that work. Today, the neighbor gave her a check for $50.00! Go, Bard!

Martha Ballard

Bard and I went to a neighbor's house today to watch the PBS video about Martha Ballard. On a day where I was feeling rather down and sorry for myself, seeing what M.B. dealt with in her life was very humbling. I think it was eye-opening for Bard to see that the late 1700-early 1800's weren't as innocent and quaint as many like to imply.

Don't forget...

I want to remind myself to write about Edison's scooter and Bard's first paycheck.

Quick update before I forget

We were playing Scrabble tonight, which is an excellent practice for spelling, of course, but also for math. Monet wanted to keep score, so we let him. When it came to adding nines, I saw that he was struggling and wanted to help him learn "the trick" to adding nines. As soon as I started explaining the adding method, he broke down. In some ways, I attribute this to our time with a charter school and the necessity of teaching in a manner that was not received well by the child and at a time when he just wasn't ready. Before long, he had completely shut down and was rubbing his eyes and crying. Because he had reached the stage of totally shutting me out, I sent him to his room to cool off. After he had stopped being hysterical, Bohemian and I both went up, and I explained to him that I loved him very much and wanted to help him, but that he was shutting me out, much like he did the time he made muffins and then realized there were too many for each person to get only one, but not enough for everyone to have two. Thus, the lesson of fractions. However, when I began to teach him the lesson of fractions with the muffins, he shut down. When I reminded him of this time, and how we solved the problem by counting each muffin and "naming" each one for a person in the family and then dividing the rest and "naming" each half for a person in the family, he nodded. Yes, he remembered that. I told him that this was the same thing. He just needed to relax and be open to being taught. Sure enough, we were able to take adding nines step by step. First, we counted on by tens. Then we counted backwards from any given number. Then we counted on by tens from any given number. Soon, he was able to count by tens from any number and could count backwards from any number (but with some difficulty. This will need some work). Before long, he was able to understand the concept of adding nine to any number...add ten, subtract one.

Edison's Magic and Growing Up

Last week, Edison made over $50.00 doing magic tricks in front of the local bakery. Yesterday, we took a trip to the magic shop and he spent $30.00 on new tricks. We also found out about a magic club that meets about 45 minutes from us the last week of each month. I think we'll try to keep that on our calendar.

Last night at the choir meeting, Edison informally performed tricks for some of the choir kids and their parents. I was impressed that he did so well. :-) I hope he keeps up with it, because he does a great job.

He and I discussed future plans. He really hopes to be a performer of some sort. I'm so glad he can be home so that he can pursue his interests. If he were in a school setting, this might not be so easy for him to pursue.

We also discussed growing up. He was surprised to see that some of the kids in choir have grown so much over the summer. Since he's not in school, he doesn't always see this kind of development with his friends. This year, he sees that big change that starts to take place from 13 up. We talked about some of the physical changes that take place when you're a teen. He's started to grow hair on his upper lip. :-)

Bard's Trip to China

Bard will be going to China with her choir in July of 2005, and she's working on raising money to be able to go. On Sunday, we had a discussion with her about whether or not she wants to go (she does), how she will raise the money (many options), and what action steps she'll take to get the money raised. She started on her action steps right away, and as a result, our neighbor called this morning asking her if she would come to do some work! So I'll have to set aside some of the things I had planned for organizing lessons today, since I was going to enlist her help with caring for Baby and cleaning the kitchen, and send her to do some scrubbing and painting at the neighbor's house! Exciting!

::: notification :::

As I wrote before, I sent in my notification letter. I finished it, took it to the post office and mailed it by certified mail. This weekend, I received the receipt that it had been received by the educational center. Now, I will wait for my excusal letter! Yeah! I'm unusually excited about this. :-)

::: gearing up for a new school year :::

Today, I started pulling all of my promising learning resources off the shelves. There's so much good stuff! I hope to take today to begin organizing a bit so that we can add some academics to our interest-led learning. Bard could use some math assistance, Edison some writing and spelling, and the younger children just learning in general, including introduction of concepts. I plan to go through the Skills Evaluation for the Homeschool book to assess the current levels and learning needs of each of the kids.

Sweetheart is really excited about doing lessons. She says she "loves school" and wants to be a cheerleader. ;-)

Edison has been given a clear guideline for doing lessons along with keeping up his visits to the bakery and Penny's house.

We discussed future goals, how important academics are to pursuing a career, and what grade levels mean, for those we encounter who will want to "test" the kids about their grade levels, etc. We also discussed notification and assessment, and how important it is to keep good records of our activities.

I'm excited about this year. I'm hoping to keep a healthy balance between hands-on learning and rote memorization. I also hope to refine my skills of determining when a child is ready to learn something, and letting go if they're not.

I have a lot more on my mind, but I'll come back to it later.

::: the freedom on homeschooling :::

freedom

A cute article about "freedom" from homeschooling. Thanks for sharing it with me, Mrs. Chaser. I knew I had a good reason. :-)

You homeschool your kids? You must be a saint. Think of the freedom you’d have if you sent your kids to school. You’d be free to get up at 6 am to drag them out of their warm beds, so they can get ready to go out into the cold to wait for the bus. You’d be free to mediate the fighting over the bathroom (“No fair! I have to leave first! Make her get out!”). You’d be free... .. to make sure each one takes the right lunch. ...to figure out who left their lunch on the counter. ...to send the right permission slips with the right child. ...to make sure each one has the right books in the right backpack. And if there’s no bus for your neighborhood, you’d be free to drive the kids to school, along with someone’s else’s kids, if you carpool.... Which would leave you free to sit in their driveway honking the horn, shivering and waiting, while your kids fight in the back seat because no one wants to sit next to the kid you’re waiting for. Of course, if you sent your kids to school, now your real freedom would begin, because once the kids are actually in the school building, you’d be free to do what you wanted for an entire six hours: To clean the whole house all on your own, with no help from the kids. To watch “Regis and Kelly” or “The View” (didn’t you love the time the ladies on “The View” interviewed that famous actor, and to impress them he pulled off their shoes and juggled them? What a great show....). To go shopping, though you can’t buy the kids clothes unless they’re with, because you don’t know what’s “in”, and they can’t wear anything to school that’s not “in”. Cardamom Publishers Home Page The Imperfect Homeschooler Text Box: Though But still, you’d have the freedom to do what you want, uninterrupted..... Except, of course, for when the phone rings, and you answer it in case it’s the school nurse calling to say one of your kids got sick at school....(but of course it’s a siding salesperson). Or when you need to run back to school at 11 am because you’re one of the Volunteer Computer Moms (at a school which is already costing you $3000 a year in property taxes), or you’re a Field Trip Chaperone, or a Library Mom, or a Room Mom, or an Art Mom, or a Lunchroom Mom. But still, you’d have freedom for a little while, until it’s time to meet the bus or pick up the kids. Then you’d have to make them all sit down and do homework (even though you feel like a meanie because they just spent all day at school), And listen to them fight because they’re overtired and cranky, And comfort the one who’s crying because “I still don’t get what I’m supposed to do!”, and you’re not much help because you don’t see the point of the assignment, either, And rush them through dinner, because it’s almost time to take one to soccer practice, and another to gymnastics, or to Scouts, or to dance class. And by the time you drop off the last one, the first one will be ready to be picked up, and so you retrace your route, and then head home, where everyone collapses.... For a few minutes, but then it’s time to make them finish the unfinished homework, and take their baths, and lay out the clothes for tomorrow, and get to bed on time, so they won’t give you so much trouble about waking them up at 6 am and dragging them out of their warm beds, so they can get ready to go out into the cold to wait for the bus...... Homeschool your kids? You must be a saint. Think of the freedom you’d have if you sent your kids to school. © 2004 Barbara Frank

The United States Mint's Site for Kids

The United States Mint's Site for Kids

This is the U.S. Mint's site for kids. It has a course on coin collecting and lesson plans for teachers. The site states that coins are History In your Pocket, thus the Hip Site for Kids.

::: edison's coin collection :::

Edison has started a collection of state quarters. Since he's been riding to the bakery a few times a week, he has been asking them to trade him for state quarters. Today he created a chart of state quarters to keep track of the ones he has, from which mint they come, and which ones he still needs. He also started collecting pennies and hopes to collect $100 worth, $50 of which he plans to donate to Bard's China trip.

::: bard's fundraising letter/commas/proofreading :::

Bard began her fundraising letter yesterday and has been working on the rough and final drafts today. She wrote the rough draft, edited for clarity and interest and then edited again for punctuation. We discussed using commas properly per Punctuation Made Easy. We also used this book to discuss correct proofreading symbols. She's doing the dishes now, but when she's done she'll read the proofreading symbols I used on her letter and correct the mistakes.

Kevin's Playroom

Kevin's Playroom

This site has a ton of links for education, ranging in information about subjects from drama to math.

CNN.com - Put your feet up, It's time for school - Aug 13th, 2004

Put Your Feet Up, It's Time for School

This is a fair and encouraging article on home learning, though there's still the banal argument of socialization. Do these experts really believe that socializing only takes place in a classroom of 20-30 children of the same age and neighborhoods and one or two teachers? My children have relationships with people of many ages, belief systems, backgrounds and cultures. Just last night, we met with the arts council meeting, which was made up of an adult male actor, a middle-aged married couple, an elderly couple who is very active in the historic preservation of our community, a Christian author, a health food store employee and our homeschooling family. That's pretty diverse! And if my children were in school, they'd probably miss opportunities such as these because they'd be home doing homework or involved in extra-curricular activities in the evenings. We're able to take advantage of so many diverse learning opportunities because we can explore ideas and environments whenever we wish.

I think the last line in the article sums up my whole philosophy of learning at home.

"If you know how to learn," she says, "and you know your kids, you know how to teach your kids."

::: arts council and upcoming activities :::

Bard, Edison, Monet and I went to the local arts council meeting tonight at a nearby restaurant. There were a handful of people there, and I think the group needs some fresh blood. It seems that those who are interested in art are actually busy being *artists* so it's difficult for them to find the time to attend meetings. Hopefully, some organization can come of it, and we can help with that.

They did discuss the possibility of a theater group, which would be cool, and they have a couple of other things planned. like a trip to the art museum. I think we'll plan to participate. Also, I volunteered to host the gathering at my house in October, the third Wednesday. I also have a PartyLite party scheduled for sometime in there, I think the second or third week in October, as well as our upcoming family gathering.

I mailed my homeschool notification today by certified mail. Hope this comes out well. It's the first time I've notified in years. I hope to ask to assess my own children, as per the state regs which indicate that the children can be assessed by a "mutually agreed upon" person between the parents and the superintendent. If not, I do have a friend who has volunteered to do the assessment, since she is a certified teacher and a former homeschooling parent.

I also mailed my application for the local homeschool support group. We'll see how that turns out. I mailed the registration for Mrs. Lake's group, too, and I hope to help her with some of the field trips she's planning. Could be very cool.

I also hope to plan a field trip for our own family to the Shakespearean Theatre in Cincinnati. We could hit the aquarium, zoo, etc, while we're there. Could be fun.

Now, it's time to finish our Phase Ten game.

::: bard's sponsorship :::

Bard began writing her sponsorship request letters for her trip to China. She has really, really talked herself into believing that she won't be able to go. I'm very hesitant to send out the letters or to prod her into sending them. I've made it clear that the whole thing is in her hands. Hopefully, she'll finish the letter today and get it sent out so that I won't have to worry about it.

Edison went to Penny's to do some work and then rode to the bakery. In the evening, he went to the neighbor's house, too.

I finished my notification letter (did I already write that?) and will send it today. I also hope to order the Little House and Anne of Green Gables curricula today.

We watched The Secret Window last night. I hated it. After 15 years of trying to detox myself from Stephen King-like thoughts, they all came flooding right back. I had to sleep with my back against Bohemian because I was frightened like a child. :-/

::: our sponsored child/letter writing :::

We sponsor a child from Brazil through Compassion International. We started this sponsorship because Edison heard a membership drive on our local Christian radio station and really wanted to be a part of it, so we looked into it. I allowed Edison to search through the children on the website and choose someone to whom he'd like to write, and he chose Diego.

Diego is close to Edison's age and has very similar interests, including soccer and music. It seemed like a good match.

We've now been writing to Diego for about two years. It's a little frustrating, because the lag time is so long. Today, we received a letter dated June 29th, and Diego talked about Christmas! Since I write to him often, it's hard to tell what letter he's responding to.

Today, each of us wrote a letter in response to Diego's most recent correspondence. Monet didn't really want to do it, but I gave him four questions to write about, and he did it. We talked about Brazil, looked up a few facts about their language, culture and customs, and looked at a globe to find where we are in relation to Brazil.

I worked with Edison on spelling, paragraphs and punctuation. I found a very helpful book at Wal*Mart called Punctuation Made Easy. I can't seem to find a link for it, but it's a very helpful book geared towards children that explores the different types of punctuation and their proper usages.

I also found a website called Punctuation Made Simple which gives a basic overview of colons, semicolons, commas, dashes and apostrophes.

Anyway, because Edison was anxious to go for a bike ride to the bakery, he was happy to do his letter and get it done. When he finished, he was actually proud of his letter and the fact that he wrote 88 words!

I think part of this pride comes from something that happened yesterday when we were with The Chasers. He and Josh are very good friends, have been since they were babies, and if Edison were going to write a letter to someone, it would be Josh. Edison came to me while at Josh's house and held out three letters, written on his Superman stationery. He told me to read them in the correct order, which I did. I wouldn't have needed him to tell me which was the first and which was the last because of the marked improvement in his spelling and his handwriting! I think the pride of seeing his own improvement spurred him on when writing to Diego.

I would like to get back into the habit we had formed last year, which was to write a letter every Sunday. I think it really reinforces handwriting, grammar and communication skills, as well as helps them to keep in touch with friends and relatives. It's always fun to receive a letter in the mail, and the best way to get one is to give one!

::: baseball with the chasers :::

We're heading out to a baseball game today with The Chasers. Just as I suspected, Edison got up early and is out taking care of the chickens, goats, rabbits, dogs and cats. Good for you, Edison!

Photos forthcoming.

::: phase ten :::

We spent the evening playing Phase 10. Edison kept score, which was helpful in practicing his addition, carrying, etc. Monet was able to practice sorting, waiting his turn, counting on, making runs, making pairs, and counting by 5's, 10's and 25's. Sweetheart drew pictures. Bard drew pictures, practiced neat handwriting.

::: today's reading list :::

Edison recently finished:

• Jedi Under Seige
• Shadow Academy
• Lost Ones
• Lightsabers
• Shards of Alderaan
• (all by by Kevin J. Anderson and Rebecca Moesta)
• Coin Magic by Klutz

He is currently reading Diversity Alliance by the same authors.

Bard recently read:

• The Moon by Night by Madeleine L'Engle
• Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach
• Just So Stories by Rudyard Kipling
• Hamlet by William Shakespeare
• Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
• The Egypt Game by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
• The Whisper of Glocken by Carol Kendall
• M.C. Higgens the Great by Virginia Hamilton

She is currently re-reading There's a Girl in My Hammerlock by Jerry Spinelli and Macbeth by William Shakespeare.

Monet recently read:

• The Day Jimmy's Boa Ate the Wash by Trinka Hakes Noble
• Midnight on the Moon by Mary Pope Osbourne
• If You Give a Mouse a Cookie by
• Favourite Woodland Tales: A Collection
• Oh Say Can You Say by Dr. Seuss
• Eloise in Moscow by Kay Thompson
• Bible Tails Picture Book for Children by The Donut Man

Sweetheart and I are currently reading Meet Felicity from the American Girl Series.

::: saturday and sunday :::

On Saturday, Bohemian and I picked up a free refrigerator that was listed on our local Freecycle list. Today, my dad cleaned it and we plugged it in. It will serve as a second fridge.

Bard and I had a great discussion about what she wants to be when she grows up. We discussed M. Night Shyamalan and how his entire family is comprised of doctors, but at around the age of 11, he decided he wanted to be a filmmaker. Bard says she'd like to be either a filmmaker, a writer, a singer or an actor. She feels those things are too banal for a teen, though, so she's not sure she wants to pursue any of them seriously.

Edison rode to Penny's house and did a bit of work for them. He rode to the bakery, too, and bought himself a donut. He's been thrilled to have this measure of freedom. The freedom does come with a bit of a price, though. When Bohemian and I came home from our trip to pick up the fridge and our fruitless yard-sale outing, it was after noon. Edison was just taking care of the chickens and goats. This has been an ongoing problem, and I actually had to call him home from a friend's house last week because he said he'd done the chores and hadn't. So, when it was time for him to ask if he could ride to Penny's, I told him that he would first have to write up and sign a contract stating that he would complete his animal chores each morning before 9:00 AM. Every word had to be spelled correctly and the punctuation had to be correct. Sure enough, he produced the signed document, and I told him he could go on his outing. This morning, his chores were done by 9:30. I let him know that this wasn't in accordance with the contract. The solution was that he would purchase an alarm clock.

We watched The King and I. We've been on a bit of a Rodgers and Hammerstein kick. When Monet asked if they could watch it, I said that it was a bit complicated and I wasn't sure if he would understand it. He then continued to tell me the entire story, punctuated by agreements from Sweetheart. When I asked him how he knew this, he said it was from The Sound of Movies, which is a documentary about Rodgers and Hammerstein that we watched a couple of months ago. Good retention!

This is how we spent today, Sunday:

Breakfast as a family. Edison set the table. Yogurt pancakes (flipped by Bohemian), hash browns and sausage.
Bard and I discussed the upcoming school year and discussed the possibility of using some of Cadron Creek's curricula. Bard tended toward Where the Brook and River Meet.
I finished True to Form by Elizabeth Berg. Bard and I discussed it a bit and thought it might be a good book about which to do a reading discussion.
Monet read Midnight on the Moon by Mary Pope Osbourne.
Bard and Monet played with (and then fought over) Robotics.
I made potato chips while we played Star Wars Trivial Pursuit. The kids took turns reading the cards aloud. Bard won. Bohemian and I came in second, and Monet and Edison came in third.
I finished my notification letter, which I hope to mail out tomorrow by certified mail.
I joined an e-mail list for Where the Brook and River Meet.

Tomorrow, we will go visit with The Chasers (friends of ours who homeschool. Mrs. Chaser is really one of my best friends. It's so good to have a kindred spirit!) for grilling and a baseball game.

Rainbow Resource Center

Rainbow Resource Center

I just discovered Rainbow Resource Center. I am STUNNED by the massiveness of this catalog! It must have just about everything a person would ever need or want to educate their children. With a resource like this, it would be very easy to get overwhelmed!

::: houdin's magic :::

(I believe this is where I changed from calling Houdin "Edison" 9/22/09) I took Houdin to the magic shop today. He's been doing magic tricks in front of the local bakery for money in his hat. Busking, which a neighbor believes is illegal. The owner of the bakery said it was fine, that they like Houdin's company, and he folds bakery boxes for them when there's no customers. Last time I was in there, the girl at the register told me what a bright kid Houdin is. Anyway, since he's been doing it, he's made $34. He used that money to buy more magic tricks. I'm thinking of looking into a magicians group for him. I should also take a photo of him doing his stuff, since his great grandpa's a magician, too, and doesn't live very close, in addition to being a paraplegic.

Cincinnati Shakespeare Festival

Cincinnati Shakespeare Festival

Cadron Creek

living history unit studies home school curriculum catalogs

I mentioned this company in a previous blog entry, but I think it deserves its own entry. I'm going to look more into this and will report as I find out more.

This company publishes literature based unit studies for Anne of Green Gables, Little House on the Prairie and The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe.

From the website:

CATALOG OF RESOURCES

American Dictionary of the English Languages 1828
Biblical Holidays
50 Veteran Homeschoolers Share Things We Wish We'd Known
Mommy Diagnostics
Woe is I
The Prairie Primer
Laura Ingalls Wilder Country
Laura Ingalls Wilder Songbook
Historical Time Table
The Little House Cookbook
The World of Little House
My Little House Crafts Book
Spelling Power
Where the Brook and River Meet
Anne's Anthology
The Annotated Anne of Green Gables
Writers Inc.
The Green Gables Letters
Are You Liberal? Conservative? or Confused?
Laurel's Kitchen Caring
What in the World's Going on Here?
At Her Majesty's Request
Heroes of the Faith
Further Up and Further In
Surprised by Joy
Of Other Worlds
Poems
Companion to Narnia
More True Tales; Ancient Civilizations and the Bible
Save on Basic History Pack (Are You Liberal? Conservative? or Confused?, What in the World is Going on Here Vol 1& 2)
Save on Anne's Pack (Where the Brook and River Meet, Annotated Anne of Green Gables, Anne's Anthology)
Save on Further Up and Further In Basic Pack (Further Up and Further In, Surprised By Joy, Poems by C. S. Lewis, and Of Other Worlds.)

::: sweetheart and american girl/prairie primer/where the brook and river meet :::

Last night, I started reading The American Girl series to Sweetheart. We're starting with Meet Felicity. This was what I used as our primary history jumping point when Bard was in elementary school. I have a lot of materials that were made available by the company before they were purchased by Mattel. They really had an excellent program for teaching young girls history, and I think they fostered a great amount of historical fiction and interest in history that seems very popular today. They did away with many of the programs and incentives they'd originally implemented, but I'm sure a lot of the stuff is still available through eBay or Abebooks or whatever. Now, however, the emphasis seems to be on the dolls. Too bad. It really was a great thing.

I also hope to start using the Little House books. There is now a Prairie Primer, which I'm not sure I'll use but will look into. I had, at one time, hoped to write a curriculum based on the Little House books. There's such a wealth of historical information and jumping-off points in those books!

While looking for the Prairie Primer, I see there is also a study on the victorian era called Where the Brook and River Meet. This may be something I look into for Bard. My problem is that EVERYTHING looks good, and I have things now that I have never used, probably never will. :-/ I have great aspirations and I get very hopeful thinking about the wonderful things I could do with my children. Yet, here I am typing about them. To do them, I often end up frustrated...

Believe it or not, Cadron Creek, which publishes the two above mentioned resources, also publishes Further Up and Further In.

From the website:

Step through the wardrobe into an exciting study in the land of Narnia. Further Up and Further In will take you through the seven Narnian adventures as well as the more down to earth (or out of this world, whichever perspective you
prefer) sbjects of Bible study, English/literature, history/social studies, science, geography, cooking, and art. Further Up and Further In has 28 units. This study will take about a year with each unit lasting about one week. The extra eight weeks allowed in the study will be spent on activities that require
additional time to complete or on supplemental activities that the instructor will determine. This curriculum is so rich in ideas to explore that it will truly take a year to complete!

I think I may be in trouble...

::: monet's day out :::

I've been hoping to do a day with Monet for a week or so now, and today was the day. Bard is with a friend, so I left Edison in charge of housecleaning and cooking.

Monet chose Pizza Hut for lunch. We chose the lunch buffet and Monet reminded me of his birthday, how he chose Pizza Hut for his special birthday lunch, and how he chose "except" as one of the words to spell in our hangman game.

Today, he chose iced tea for his drink. It wasn't sweetened or flavored, so he put ten packets of sugar and three lemon slices in the tea. We had a nice lunch. I enjoyed his company.

After lunch, we headed to Wal*Mart to look for a punching bag, punching toy or boxing gloves. A few days ago, when friends were visiting, he had really lost his temper and gotten into trouble for it, so we listed some things that he could do to help control his temper. The punching bags and boxing gloves were two of the things.

In the store, he helped me gather the groceries I needed. I find that if I give him a list and some responsibilities, he's much more well-behaved. Today, he pushed the cart and did a fine job, better than some of the adults were doing who weren't looking as they pushed their carts out into the main aisle without even looking.

Our Kids' Bathroom Fish died a few days ago, so I told Monet that we had to choose a new fish. He asked if he could pick it out, and then asked if he could get a fish for his own room. I told him he could. We found a Beta tank that has two compartments so that you can keep two male betas without them killing each other. Apparently, it causes them to display their fins more to see another beta. Monet chose a blue and white beta and a red one, even asking the employee for one of the betas in the tank himself. He chose the rocks himself, too. He also chose a notebook to write things in when he's angry, calling it his Mad Book.

After Wal*Mart, we headed to the new local art gallery. It's in a big historic house, so when we parked and walked up the sidewalk towards it, Monet asked where we were going. I told him that I had always liked the house, thought it looked friendly, and figured we'd just go knock on the door and ask them if they had a cup of tea. :-) As we approached the door, he saw paintings in the window and decided it must be an art gallery. He was convinced when he saw the sign that said Art Gallery. :-)

Once inside, we told the attendant that Monet is an artist. She was very encouraging and impressed, and invited Monet to bring in some of his artwork for display and/or sale. I'm hoping to commission him to do a few paintings and then take them in. I think he'd like that. :-)

I have to make this quick, because Baby's not very happy.

After the gallery, we stopped for a drink (Monet paid and counted out the money for the drinks). On our way home, we stopped at the greenhouse, where Monet used the digital camera to take photos of the plants, flowers and miniature gardens. We bought two hanging baskets of everbearing strawberries and a hanging basket of nasturtiums, along with a few herbs, all at half-price. We then drove past the truck patch where they have a bunch of ponies and donkeys, and talked about the difference between ponies, horses, donkeys and mules. Monet asked if donkeys could be ridden and decided that, yes, you can ride a donkey because Mary and Jesus both did. :-) He also said he'd not like to have a donkey, because they're too loud.

We had many conversations, but I can't remember them now. I'll try to remember and write them down later.

When we got home, we repotted the herbs, Monet watered them, and then he spent the afternoon making artwork. Sweetheart made artwork, too, with the stencils I bought for her.

We rounded out the evening with a batch of pizza bagels and a batch of chocolate chip cookies.

Baby can't take anymore. More later....

Photos here.

::: outing with monet :::

Monet and I are going for an outing today. I'm planning to take him to lunch, go for a walk, check out the art gallery and go to Wal*Mart to look for a punching bag or other way to let him vent his anger. More as it happens!

Sweetheart's Name

Sweetheart has been spending the morning writing her name and drawing pictures. She's also practicing making hearts and stars using a stencil. I think I'll pick up some more stencils while I'm out today.

::: monet's planets :::

Monet came into the Creative Room today and asked me if there were beings living on Mars. We checked the web and found a site called StarChild that gives a basic introduction to each of the planets and our solar system. It also provides a few simple activities to reinforce the information gained from the pages.

I also found a great site on Enchanted Learning that gives the relatives size, temperature, orbital velocity, gravitational pull, etc., for each planet.

Monet came up with an idea to label the rooms in our house according to the size of the room=size of the planet. He's making labels out of 5x7 index cards with the name of the planet, a drawing of the planet, and a description of the planet: "Cold Mars," "Icy Pluto," "Watery Earth," etc. He'll then stick each of the cards to the corresponding doors with Handy Tac. :-)

This is what I call taking advantage of a learning opportunity. A child asks a question. You learn the answer together.

::: changeback messages :::

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

The past few days have been very trying and challenging. I've been trying to adjust to some recently discovered behavior issues with one of my kids, and it has not been easy. On Wednesday, I was so intensely depressed that I had no will to even attempt to deal with my family in a fair or rational way. I was just angry. Every call of "MOM!" or request for help was just too much for me to handle. Everything I'd ever done, any decision I'd ever made about family, childrearing, love...it was all futile. There was no point to anything.

Edison, my 13 year old son, bore the brunt of my anger, even though he wasn't the main source of my frustration. He and I have been butting heads since he was two, and I have journal entries to prove it. Something just got into that boy's system and has never found its way back out. He's argumentative, independent, headstrong, persistent and his mood changes very easily depending on his surroundings.

He's a lot like me.

So we went head-to-head about his argumentativeness, his sloppiness, his rudeness, his criticism of his siblings. I was ruthless. He was ruthless right back.

The thing is, this is just the type of behavior I've been trying to address. Not that I've been trying to address it so much in Edison, though that seems to come as a side effect of my own changes. I've really been trying to address behavior problems in me.

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. ~Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, 1969

Raised an adopted only child in a very, incredibly dysfunctional household, I got some pretty screwed up signals from my parents. My dad was, and still is, a manipulative liar. My mom was simply out of control. She didn't know how to handle me, and decided that the authoritarian, belittling, beat-the-tar-out-of-the-child approach was what would whip me into shape.

I inherited the best of both parenting worlds.

Most of us become parents long before we have stopped being children. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

This is absolutely, amazingly appalling to me, given that by the age of 12 I had begun planning my post-childhood life, and it did NOT include repeating with my children anything my mother had ever done to me. At that age, I didn't see the manipulation and lying that my dad practiced regularly. I simply saw that he was my savior. He rescued me from bedtime, from discipline, from having to face my mother.

When he was around.

And he wasn't around often. Birthday parties, friends' visits (which were limited, as my mom hated most people and criticized all of my friends), family dinners, you name it. My dad wasn't there. He didn't attend my track meets, dance recitals, school functions or softball games. He just made sure that when he was around, he was the ultimate "good guy."

My parents were not very social, didn't belong to clubs or groups or organizations. My mom had very few friends, and my dad didn't have many good ones. They weren't Christians, so they didn't belong to a church. They simply stumbled along in their child-raising life. I was there to stumble along with them.

When I moved out, my mother carried out the threat she'd screamed many times all through my life. She divorced my dad, and told me that she no longer had a daughter.

So, coming into motherhood, I was ill-equipped. As a daughter, I had been bullied, threatened, beaten, manipulated, lied to, distracted, rewarded, screamed at, hated, argued with, applauded, slapped, shaken, frightened and frustrated. As a mother, I was determined to be better.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. ~John Wilmot

I read every parenting book I could find. Since I was a Christian, I read a lot of books that approached child-rearing from a "Christian" perspective. Most of those books included some kind of physical or emotional punishment. Spanking, time-out, ignoring the child when they displayed bad behavior, etc. I had been insistent with my husband Bohemian that I would never spank our children. The system I liked best was natural consequences. We spent many conversations discussing this, him telling me that this sounded good in theory, but how would it work in this situation, that situation, and what if it didn't work at all? I stood firm. Until my daughter was born.

Theoretical parenting, or theoretical anything for that matter, is not nearly as difficult as hands-on. I have never done anything in my life as difficult as being a parent. With Bard, I worked very hard to change my ways. I would be positive. I would not allow certain television shows to be viewed. I would bake more, cook at home more, speak positive words more. I would be firm, but fair. I would be consistent, but caring. Bard responded to this so well. But the hardest was yet to come. Bard was actually a fairly easy child to raise, and we raised her by the James Dobson method. Discipline immediately, consistently, lovingly, and informatively.

But, as I said, Bard was easy.

Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it. ~Not Your Average Dictionary

When Edison was born, I was confused. I had been confused about how he was conceived, I was confused about when we should tell people that I was pregnant only six months after my first child had been born, and I was confused about when he should be born. The issues have changed, but the confusion has not diminished. With Edison, the parenting books flew out the window, and the discipline became much more serious. He was headstrong, to say the least. Some of his first words were "shubbup!" (shut up) and "goway!" (go away). Some of the things he would do would just break my heart. Some of the things he would do would just melt it. So I plugged away, disciplining, caring, trying to be consistent, trying to be fair, and most often, doing all right. Then along came Monet.

Around the time that I had Monet, I joined a feminist mothers at home e-mail list which had influenced my decision to become an attached parent. Monet was with me all the time. He was either attached at the breast or slung from my hip. I taught him sign language to give him a communication advantage. I tried not to spank, but instead ignored bad behavior and rewarded good behavior. Monet, in his effort to be heard, just made the bad behavior louder. And louder. And I became more and more frustrated, and less and less of a person.

Around this time, Bard and Edison discovered a new, entertaining pasttime. Sibling rivalry. This, I believe, was the beginning of my parental breakdown. Up until this time, I thought I was at least a decent parent. By the time Monet had grown old enough to join in with the sibling battles, I had begun reverting to my old parenting tactics, the ones I had learned as a child. Bullying, spanking, anger, belittling, sarcasm...even a few occassions of slapping. The worst one, I think, was screaming. The older my children got, the more they fought with each other...and the more I hated myself.

Because the rule for me had been to always be fair, but the only way I would ever have been able to accomplish that was to be everwhere at all times or to install a million dollar security system in my home. There was no way I could be fair, and to me, that just didn't seem fair. There was only one thing I could do...stop having children.

Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it. ~Jean Kerr

And then Sweetheart was born.

While Monet had been a planned pregnancy, Sweetheart was a total surprise. Through the whole of my pregnancy, I worried that she would be another boy. It was because my boys were boys that I was having such a hard time. Girls were, in my very simple opinion from my limited experience, easier than boys. I can't begin to tell you how relieved I was when the midwife called to me to look at my baby's face, to see those rosebud lips and to just know. Sweetheart was a girl.

With Sweetheart, I was walking the line between being an attached parent and a conservative Christian parent. There were a lot of changes going on in my life...buying land, selling a house, moving into a tiny cabin, bringing my dad along with me even though I didn't really want to, but felt too guilty and indebted to say "no," and then, later, building our own home, which took the other part of the time that was left when I wasn't trying to keep a 16x24 foot cabin clean while seven people were living there. The one thing I most desperately did NOT need was another child. And that is precisely when I found out that I was pregnant with Baby. It was the worst pregnancy I could have had, from the horrible vomiting, to the kidney stones, to the flu, to my dad having an incapacitating back injury and, consequently, a nasty bicycle accident. I was so not ready to have another child.

And here's where I need to clarify. It's not the child that's the problem. No, not at all. It's totally and completely ME. I don't know how to care for my children. No, it's not like I can't feed them or clothe them. It's just that I haven't learned to talk to them.

But recently, I've been learning to do just that.

I picked up a book that I had tried to read several years ago, a book called How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. I had originally glanced through the cartoons, and then I tossed it aside, maybe even gave it away, because it sounded like a bunch of psychobabble. But this time, I read it. And here it was. Me. Right there on the "don't do it this way" illustration. Again and again and again, I recognized myself. I was amazed. Because, before, when I would read How To books on raising children, I would feel so inadequate because it never told you what to do if you'd already screwed up beyond belief. But this one does. It shows you what you've been doing wrong, and how to do it right.

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. ~Josh Billings

In reading this book, I also saw a lot of my childhood, a lot of the things I remember hating about how I was talked to. There was no compassion, no understanding. It was all authority, all "you will do it MY way, you bleeping brat!" I think, to give my mother some understanding, she was just too, too tired to try to talk to me. I was difficult. My father was difficult. She had already lived through a lot of difficulty.
So now, here I am, faced with a new way to deal with children. Listen to them. Be compassionate. But be firm. Be kind. Be empathetic. Oh, Lord! Doesn't that sound like...like...
...like what Jesus would do?
So here I am, trying to be more like Jesus, and along comes this issue with one of my children, an issue that just smacks me right in the face. It was embarrassing, deceptive, troubling behavior. What was I going to do with it?
And the first thing that came out was this: change back. What you're doing doesn't work. What you're doing is wrong, it's bad, it's damaging. Change back. You're giving them too much leeway. You're giving them too much control. Change back.

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. ~Stacia Tauscher

And then comes my mother-in-law in her infinite wisdom, listening to me cry about my fears and my humiliations, hearing me insist that I'm doing it all wrong, just when I thought I was doing it right. I tell her how my son has done this unspeakable thing, has done it and another parent had to tell me about it. Another parent whom I fear, who intimidates me, and she tells me these things. My mother in law tells me these two things. First she says, you're humble. Of course you're humble in front of someone who intimidates you. Why be humbled in the presence of someone who doesn't count? Secondly, she tells me that I'm getting changeback messages, and that I need to refuse to accept them. Changeback messages, I say? What are those? She gives me a brief explanation. It's in all the twelve step programs, she tells me. You do something good in life, and someone comes along and tells you that you're doing it wrong. They want you to change back. The husband quits drinking, and the wife, who has nagged him for years to quit drinking, buys him some beer, justifies it. "It's the only pleasure he really has." Why? Because she feels guilt, she feels uncomfortable with his change. She had grown accustomed to his story, to who he is. So she "tells" him to change back. Satan, my mother in law tells me, is giving me a serious changeback message. You're doing something right, she says. Keep it up.

The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles. A shaky child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom. The realization that this is what the child will always need can hit hard. ~Sloan Wilson

I let my boys ride their bikes on the road. My dad wouldn't let me do that. He was afraid. He was afraid, I'm sure, of losing me. Somehow, though, he lost me, but in a different way. He lost me, he lost my mom, and now, he's losing his grandkids.

My son didn't do what he did because I let him ride his bike on the road. He didn't do what he did because I started talking to him like a human being and stopped talking to him like the control freak that I am. He did what he did because he has free will. He did what he did because he's a human boy, with ideas, thoughts, worries, needs, emotions, fears. My son needs my support. He also needs freedom. These are two things I never had.

I will not change back.

::: july was national ice cream month :::

July was National Ice Cream Month, so we focused on ice cream a lot. We read about ice cream, bought a hand-crank ice cream freezer, tried several ice cream recipes, talked about ice and salt and why ice with salt is colder than just ice, and Bard read the entire Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Book. To do a unit study on ice cream, check out these links:

A How To Make Ice Cream report
Ice Cream Analogies (requires a PDF reader)
Ice Cream Flavor survey and Ice Cream bar graph
Ice Cream Facts and Trivia at makeicecream.com
Here's a site that tells you what kind of person you are based on your favorite ice cream flavor. My favorite is Breyers Butter Pecan. :-)
And then, of course, there's A-Z Home's Cool's ice cream page. It includes a really promising looking link to an activity called Ice Cream and Algorithms which I haven't yet done but would really like to do.

::: a bit of learning :::

While I was doing reading e-mail, Monet saw that a friend is going to Arizona and asked where Arizona is. We did a mini USA geography session, talking about the places we've been.

He also brushed his teeth, and I told him that you should sing "Happy Birthday" twice while brushing your teeth to make sure you get all the germs. In your head, of course. So I demonstrated. :-)

::: star wars galactic battlegrounds: an interview with monet :::

Tyler: We're here with Monet who has been spending a lot of time playing the computer game, Galactic Battlegrounds. We're going to get the inside scoop on this game and what Monet likes about it. Monet,tell us a little bit about the game.

Monet: It's really fun. You get to build an army. If you're really good, the funner it is. If you're really bad at it...I'm not too bad and not too good, just in the middle. First, you have to put in your name for your file. And then, you go to Basic Training. The first one, it shows you how to move from place to place. You have markers, so you sideclick on the markers and then you keep on going and you meet Chewy's dad (I don't know his name), then there's Gondarks, these little monkeys, but they have red hair and they're much more dangerous than monkeys. I mean, gorillas.

Tyler: Is this all in Basic Training?

Monet: Yes.

Tyler: What do the monkey-like things do?

Monet: They try to destroy your camp.

Tyler: That doesn't sound very nice.

Monet: No, it doesn't.

Tyler: Tell me more about Basic Training.

Monet: Well, there are a couple more Basic Training things to do. There are, like, nine things to do. I don't know really what the next one is, but I'll tell you some more. There is Jedi and Ally.

Tyler: What do you do with those?

Monet: You trade this carbon and ore...

Tyler: What do you trade the carbon and ore for?

Monet: There's a "sell and buy." If you buy, they give it to you.

Tyler: So you're trying to get the carbon and ore?

Monet: Yes.

Tyler: What do you trade to GET the carbon and ore?

Monet: Hmm?

Tyler: What do you have that they want?

Monet: Oh! You can give them anything. You can give them food, carbon...

Tyler: I thought you were trying to GET the carbon.

Monet: Yeah, you can trade the carbon...you don't have to give them anything. If you can't push the buy button anymore, you have to sell some of your stuff that you have a lot of. And that's how you get a lot of buildings.

Tyler: Okay, so what you're saying is that you can sell, not trade, your things for money. And then you can use the...

Monet: There's no such thing as money.

Tyler: So what do you get when you sell your stuff?

Monet: Nothing. You're the only one who can sell and buy.

Tyler: So if you're the only one who can sell and buy, who is buying from you and selling to you?

Monet: No one is selling to me.

Tyler: How can you buy something if no one is selling anything?

Monet: They don't have to be selling anything.

Tyler: Then how can you buy it?

Monet: Okay, you have a spaceport. And then, you click on the spaceport and then there is a buy sign and a sell sign, and next to the sell sign are all these items that you can sell to the other allies.

Tyler: OH! So you CAN sell to someone else. The Allies!

Monet: Yeah. And then, there's a "buy" sign. You can buy from the Allies, because THEY have a spaceport. And if they don't have a spaceport and you don't know that, there's a black space around. That's why you have a scout.

Tyler: Wait a minute. You didn't mention a scout before. What's a scout?

Monet: A scout is supposed to scout out the area, the map for you.

Tyler: Why?

Monet: Because you need to know where your allies are and where your enemies are.

Tyler: What's an ally?

Monet: An ally is what you trade with and saves your life.

Tyler: So an ally is a good guy. He's on your side.

Monet: Yes.

Tyler: What's an enemy?

Monet: An enemy is what kills you and you can give stuff to them, but you don't want to.

Tyler: Do the enemies try to take your stuff?

Monet: No. They try to blow it up.

Tyler: That's not very nice.

Monet: That's why they call them enemies.

Tyler: Let's go back to Basic Training. What else can you do there?
Monet: There are a whole bunch of things, but some of them, I forget. The second one I know, it's how to collect stuff and defeat the Gondarks.

Tyler: What kind of stuff?

Monet: Food. Carbon. Nova Crystal. Ore.

Tyler. What is carbon for?

Monet: Carbon is pretty much for getting warriors. Tech level three needs 500 food and 200 Nova Crystals. Tech level two needs 200 Nova Crystals. Then there's Tech Level Four, that's the highest level. There's a Tech Level One, but you don't need anything. That's what you start off with. A lot of times I've gotten to Tech Level Four.

Tyler: Sounds interesting. Would you say that there is anything about your game that involves learning?

Monet: Yes. About Star Wars. You get to find all of these creatures, like rancors, and these fish creatures, goober fish, and on every planet, there's probably a creature. Tattoine, there's a bunch. Yavin Four...do you know how to spell Tattoine?

Tyler: I think so.

Monet: It's "oo."

Tyler: Oh. Okay. So it's Tattooine?

Monet: No. No it's not "tattooine." There's no "i" and there's no other "t."

Tyler: Okay, so it's Tatoone.

Monet: Well, that's how I think it is. I think there' s a W.

Tyler: Anything else you want to say about it?

Monet: You can do standard games, you can do episodes. You can do Darth Vader, Princess Leia and Chewbacca.

Tyler: Cool! Okay, that's all the time we have for today. Thanks for your time, Monet!

Monet: You're welcome.

::: sweetheart's room :::

Yesterday Bohemian put a few more coats of paint on Sweetheart's twin beds that I found at a secondhand furniture store. After he was finished, I dragged him into town to peruse the very coolest shop in the county. My friend Stefanie has the shop I only need to dream of owning, and I think she's the only one who could pull of such a totally hip place. Stefanie finds stuff, either in salvage yards, yard sales, resale shops, whatever, and spruces them up and makes groupings that are SO cool. I bought a hot pink plant stand, a little end table full of drawers and two matching tables for the feet of Sweetheart and Baby's beds. I stole a lot of inspiration, too. :-)

Bohemian perused the music store while I was salivating at Stefanie's place. He really wants a nice acoustic guitar or a new pickup for the guitar he has. I'd love to find a way to get these things for him. I'll have to think on it. I suppose the best way would be to stop spending money on other things. :-/

Before I came up with that revelation, I also stopped at the store and bought a quilt for Sweetheart's bed, not a pricey one, just a Wal*Mart one. I picked up some greenery for the kitchen, too.

When we got home, I dry-brushed a cream color on top of the pink on the headboard and footboards, and some pink and cream on the end tables I got from Stefanie's. Bard used Handi-Tack to stick five little vintage dollies on the top shelf of Sweetheart's very cute Ethan Allen dresser/hutch that I found at a different used furniture place.

The final product (which actually isn't quite done yet) is so cute. I still need to find some vintage or vintage-style curtains, a few little rag rugs, and some artwork for the walls. There was a way cute vanity at Stefanie's that would fit in Sweetheart's room, too. It has a huge vintage mirror on the back. I'm not sure if I'll get it, but it's definitely appropriate.

We've been playing a lot of Phase 10 as a family, and on Friday night, we played Scatagories. Monet, who is 9, really likes to play and we let him look at the clues before we start the timer so he can get a head start. Bard is the one who really loves to play. :-) Edison isn't into it at all.

But Edison has been very into magic tricks. He, Monet and Sweetheart put on a show for us on Friday night, complete with dancing, magic tricks, juggling and public speaking. :-) It was a lot of fun.

Edison and Monet have been spending a lot of time playing Star Wars Gallactic Battlegrounds. Monet thinks it's a good game to play. Find out more on the next post. Also, they've been spending a lot of time playing Uno, and even including Sweetheart.

Until next time!