Finally

Bard's Christmas interview is here.

If the Octopus Fits...

Impromptu Mom asked me why I was wearing an octopus, so I thought I should explain.

See, I have really thick hair. Yeah, I know. You wish you had thick hair, too. Well, you only wish that because you don't.

Because if you did, you'd know that there's not much you can do with all this hair. It's either down and frizzy or up and frizzy, and since up and frizzy's easier to manage and takes less time, that's what I most often do, so I'm always looking for some kind of...something...to help reign my mane.

One day, while Bard and I were perusing the hair accessories aisle of the local Stuff*Mart, Bard pulled a very imposing-looking torture device from its peg. It looked like a big black spider, or an octopus, or that photo on the left. It was actually called an Octopus Clip. I didn't want to buy it.

"I'm not buying that thing," I announced.

"Why not? It's cool! It's for thick hair!" Retorted Bard, who inherited the thick hair thing, too.

"Because I can't put something that looks like...like...like that on my head. I spend a lot of time worrying about things that look like that. I've called your dad to come home from work so he could kill things that look like that. I think one of my biggest nightmares would be finding something like that in my hair. Put it back."

"C'mon," she badgered. "It's cool." She wriggled the thing in front of my face. "Maybe it will help me look cool, too."

And because I'm a guilt-ridden pushover, I bought it.

And once I had it home, I couldn't help myself. I tried it. Besides, I was late for work and desperate.

Wonder of wonders. It held my hair. All of my hair. It doesn't slip out. And I can actually operate it, unlike those chopstick things and french twist doo-dads that I buy and plunge into my tangle of tresses, either to break them in two or to give up and toss them in the "that was a waste" pile.

But not the octopus. It grabbed my hair with all eight legs and held on for dear life.

When I got to work, one of my co-workers commented on my new 'do. "It looks nice!" She said. Huh. Maybe this scary-looking thing and I can actually be friends, I thought. I introduced my co-worker to the octopus. They shook hands. All eight of them.

And now, I'm hooked. I've purchased several of the hideous-looking things, because I have a tendency to leave my hair accessories wherever I take them off and may not find them until I clean under the couch. Which may be never. Plus, with my luck, an Octopus Clip will attack some lady's head and she'll file a lawsuit claiming emotional damage and they'll take the clips off the market. And then I'll be stuck with french twist doo-dads and chopsticks and a frizzy down-do. I don't think I can go back.

And so, that is why one of the things I'm currently wearing is an octopus.

Tagged Again: Two Things

I thought this might be helpful since you can't copy and paste it off of my blog:

2 names you go by:
1. Mom
2. Mrs. H.

2 parts of your heritage:
1. I don't know
2. I was adopted

2 things that scare you:
1. Freak accidents
2. Moving too fast

2 of your everyday essentials:
1. Conversing with my husband
2. Reading e-mail

2 things you are wearing right now:
1. Acorn earrings
2. An octopus

2 favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment):
1. Coldplay
2. David Wilcox

2 favorite songs at the moment:
1. In the Bleak Midwinter
2. If it Wasn't for the Night

2 truths:
1. God is.
2. I'm not.

2 of your favorite hobbies:
1. Knitting
2. Planning

2 things you want really badly:
1. Peace
2. Money

2 places you want to go on vacation:
1. London
2. My own home

2 things you want to do before you die:
1. Get old
2. Learn to play an instrument

2 things you are thinking about now:
1. Taking down my Christmas decorations
2. Cleaning my house

2 stores you shop at:
1. Save N Serve
2. Wal*Mart

2 people you would like to complete this meme:
1. Bard
2. Impromptu Mom

In the Bleak Midwinter

by Christina Rossetti

In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow,
In the bleak midwinter, long ago.

Our God, Heaven cannot hold Him, nor earth sustain;
Heaven and earth shall flee away when He comes to reign.
In the bleak midwinter a stable place sufficed
The Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ.

Enough for Him, Whom cherubim, worship night and day,
Breastful of milk, and a mangerful of hay;
Enough for Him, Whom angels fall before,
The ox and ass and camel which adore.

Angels and archangels may have gathered there,
Cherubim and seraphim thronged the air;
But His mother only, in her maiden bliss,
Worshipped the beloved with a kiss.

What can I give Him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;
If I were a Wise Man, I would do my part;
Yet what I can I give Him: give my heart.

If You Give a Mom a Muffin...

I don't know who wrote this--it wasn't I--but it sure is accurate! Sums up my day today.

If you give a mom a muffin,
She'll want a cup of coffee to go with it.
She'll pour herself some.
Her three-year-old will spill the coffee.
She'll wipe it up.
Wiping the floor, she'll find dirty socks.
She'll remember she has to do laundry.
When she puts the laundry in the washer,
She'll trip over boots and bump into the freezer.
Bumping into the freezer will remind her
she has to plan for supper.
She will get out a pound of hamburger.
She'll look for her cookbook, "101 Things To Do
With a Pound of
Hamburger"
The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail.
She will see the phone bill, which is due
tomorrow.
She will look for her checkbook.
The check book is in her purse
which is being dumped out by her two-year-old.
She smells something funny.
She'll change the two-year-old's diaper.
While she is changing the diaper, the phone will
ring.
Her five-year-old will answer and hang up.
She'll remember she wants to phone a friend for
coffee.
Thinking of coffee will remind her
that she was going to have a cup.
And chances are... If she has a cup of coffee,
Her kids will have eaten the muffin that went
with it.

(with apologies to Laura Numeroff)

Tagged--I'm so weird

I've been double tagged...once by TrueVyne and once by Jody2ms.

Five weird habits of yourself:

“The first player of this game starts with the topic ‘five weird habits of yourself,’ and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Don’t forget to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says ‘You are tagged’ (assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours.”


1. My nose twitches when I'm in the vicinity of lettuce. No kidding. When I was a kid, I seriously thought I was part rabbit.

2. I make myself perform one good deed before I allow myself to check my e-mail.

3. I chew my fingernails while watching movies.

4. I have a particular weakness for Krispy Kreme donuts, specifically the chocolate glazed kind, and NOT the ones in the grocery-store box. They must be the fresh ones in the donut case.

5. I cry over previews and fall asleep during the actual movies.

I tag Bard, Impromptu-Mom, Pensive Wanderer, Peaceful Lady, and Allison Tannery.

Beautiful Voices, Beautiful Places

Bard's choral ensemble sang at a nearby community's First Night celebration on Saturday. The church where they perform several of their concerts each year is just gorgeous. First year touring singers are often distracted when they sing there because one simply can't help looking around at all of the loveliness--colors, architecture, statues, lighting. Bard says that it's lovely, yes, but not as lovely as the cathedrals she saw while singing in Italy.

I haven't travelled very far; I think the hills and fields surrounding our home are some of the most beautiful landscapes ever. I do remember, however, a particularly beautiful sunset view from the top of Mount Baldy in the Indiana Dunes.

What is the most beautiful place you've ever seen?

A Christmas Meme

Got this from Donna over at A Quiet Life:

1. Hot Chocolate or apple cider?
Either, but I especially like Apple Cider. A good cappuccino would be nice, too.

2. Turkey or Ham?
Neither. Cheesy potatoes and lots of deserts.

3. Do you get a fake or real-you-cut-it-yourself Christmas tree?
Definitely a real tree. I always wanted one growing up, when we had the silver foil tree, and now we get one every year.

4. Decorations on the outside of your house?
A wreath and an undecorated tree on the porch. One year, I hope to put up lights. We have those candle lights in the windows.

5. Snowball fights or sleddin'?
Sledding and making forts.

7. Do you enjoy going downtown shopping?
This year, it was Goodwill, Save-N-Serve and used bookstores. I enjoy the outdoor strip malls for retail.

8. Favorite Christmas song?
Good King Wenceslas, Frosty the Snowman and Baby, It's Cold Outside.

10. How do you feel about Christmas movies?
I really like them! We watched A Christmas Story last night. Well, they watched. I fell asleep only to be awoken by wild, intermittent laughter.

11. When is it too early to start listening to Christmas music?
Not before the day after Thanksgiving.

12. Stockings before or after presents?
After presents, and after all of the wrapping paper is cleaned up.

13. Carolers, do you or do you not watch and listen to them?
We don't get carolers.

14. Go to someone else's house or they come to you?
Since we're broke, we stay home. But tomorrow, we have Grandma Max's calling hours, so that will be a gathering of the season, unfortunately.

15. Do you read the Christmas Story? If so when?
We read it as part of our Advent.

16. What do you do after presents and dinner?
Play games, read books, check up on e-mail, visit with friends and family, if they're around.

17. What is your favorite holiday smell?
Fabric softener from the new Christmas jammies.

18. Ice skating or walking around the mall?
Both.

19. Do you open a present or presents on Christmas Eve, or wait until Christmas day?
Christmas jammies, Pringles and one present on Christmas Eve. The rest as early as we can get Dad out of bed.

20. Favorite Christmas memory?
There are many. This is for another post.

21. Favorite Part about winter?
The beauty of winter, the silence outside, the ice on the trees, the warm winter clothes, and gathering with relatives.

22. Ever been kissed under mistletoe?

Yup! We have some hanging in our piano room. :-)

The Christmas Interviews, Part Five: The Bard Files

Mama: Are you having a good Christmas?
Bard: Not anymore. No...uh...don't actually type eveything I'm saying. You're being a pain in the butt. I'm not having a good Christmas anymore, because it's not Christmas. But when it was Christmas, I was having a good Christmas. I'd be having a better Christmas if you didn't use that picture.
Mama: What's your favorite gift this year?
Bard: Um...the Reliant K CD was really cool, except for the no apostrophes and the possessive whatever in the lyrics. The DiscWorld three books in one was pretty sweet. And the James Thurber books.
M: What was the worst part about Christmas?
B: I don't know. The devil, I guess. Ha ha. Um...the worst part about Christmas...was...that I wasn't here for most of it. I mean, I was here for actually Christmas, but I wasn't here for December much. "Here" being "home," not at your room. Sitting at your feet. Or beside your feet.
M: What's the best gift you gave?
B: The Barry Manilow CD that you didn't even know that I was going to give you that was so cool.
M: Was there anything you really, really, really wanted but you didn't get?
B: A DVD camcorder. And a step truck. AND combat boots. But other than that, no.
M: Was there anything you didn't ask for that you're really glad you got?
B: I think...pretty much all the stuff I got was stuff I asked for. Except the booklight. I was glad I got that. Maybe one of the books I didn't ask for, but I liked all the books.
M: Was there anything you got that you don't like?
B: No.
M: Do you remember any of the gifts you got last year?
B: Yeah...I got...a couple of CDs and I got...I got sick. Ha ha. Uh...that wasn't a very good gift. I got some clothes. I'm getting all the different Christmases mixed up. I got books, I'm pretty sure. Playmobil toys. We got a bunch of Playmobil toys. And...some Beanie Babies or something? Some kind of doll.
M: The treehouse.
B: Oh, yeah, the treehouse. That wasn't just for me, though. That was for everybody. And how am I supposed to remember it because it's down in the fruit cellar because the screws are stripped.
M: What can you do this year that you couldn't do last Christmas?
B: Uh...nothing, pretty much. Algebra, but that's not really great. Um. I can say I've done stuff, but I can't actually do anything. I can sing some songs in Chinese. I'm not really that interesting, so...
M: You can play piano.
B: Yeah, but...I can only play, like, three songs. I can play guitar, but I can only play, like, eighteen chords.
M: I think that's great.
B: Yeah.
M: What do you hope to be able to do next Christmas that you can't do this year?
B: Heh heh. (laughs hysterically at my use of the words "Heh heh"). Um. Squaredance. With a partner. That isn't my brother. Or some old guy. No offense to any old people out there. "Middle aged." It's more politically correct. Ummm..what was the question again? I don't remember. Heh heh. I'm not going "heh heh," I'm laughing. The first time I was going "heh heh" because I was thinking of something mildly inappropriate. It wasn't very inappropriate. It was just making me laugh.
M: What was it?
B: Heh heh. Why do you have to ask? It wasn't very inappropriate. I just didn't want to say, because you'd write it down, and now you're going to write it down anyway. And everyone who reads your blog is going to think I'm some weird teenager with a sock on my hand.
M: What was it?
B: It's a sock, that's what it is.
M: No, the inappropriate thought.
B: (slightly irrate) Why are you asking??? I didn't say it with three question marks. I don't use multiple punctuation in my speech.
M: What was it?
B: You know. Like periods and commas.
M: You know what I mean.
B: Okay. Fine. I'm not telling you.
M: Then I'm not going to finish this interview.
B: You have to. Somebody asked you to.
M: Well, they'll have to get used to disappointment.
B: I don't know why I ever said anything.
M: What was it?
B: I'm not going to tell you. You're going to laugh at me.
M: What was it?
B: No one's even going to want to read this.
M: (glares)
B: It was KISS, okay? It was KISS! That's what it was. That's what it was. Really. Why are you looking at me like that?
M: What does Christmas mean to you?
B: Um. Uh. It's kind of hard to get back to the topic of Christmas. Um. What Linus said. What? That's what Christmas means to me. Not those exact words. What he said, not what he said. What it means. Heh heh. Christmas...I didn't do that "heh heh" thing. I only did it once, and now you're going overboard. Christmas...(pauses to giggle)...Christmas is never having to say you're sorry. Isn't that from a movie?
M: Yes.
B: Except for not "Christmas;" it would be "love."
M: That's correct.
B: Okay. Um. That's the news from Lake Wobegone. And Christmas is all about Jesus' birth and feeling sorry for our sins and giving and not receiving. 'Cept some people have to receive or we can't give anything. So some people can be selfish and want to get a bunch of stuff but not good people. Good people just have to give stuff, because they have to be good to get to Heaven. That's it.

The Christmas Interviews, Part Four: The Houdin Files

Mama: Are you having a good Christmas?
Houdin: Yeah. Other than infection.
Mama: What's your favorite gift this year?
H: Um...a present. It was a...um...the...lightsaber that you build, basically. It's pretty awesome.
M: What was the worst part about Christmas?
H: Um...I think I already said, being sick and having a, uh..what is it called?
M: A sinus infection.
M: What's the best gift you gave?
H: (long pause) Ummm...I gave cars to Monet but I didn't see him open them, with trading cards with them.
M: Was there anything you really, really, really wanted but you didn't get?
H: Oh, a pocket bike, but I wasn't expecting to get it.
M: Was there anything you didn't ask for that you're really glad you got?
H: Um...all the presents I got were really good, they weren't just "Oh, I think he might like this stuff..." It was really good stuff. So I like everything I got.
M: Was there anything you got that you don't like?
H: No. No. Nothing.
M: Do you remember any of the gifts you got last year?
H: Uh...dominoes, army soldiers, uh...was that the year I got Superman stuff? I can't remember anything other than that.
M: What can you do this year that you couldn't do last Christmas?
H: Um...I can ride a unicycle across the garage. I can do two chin-ups in a row, which is wimpy for my age anyway, so...
M: You can play piano.
H: Yeah, that too. And I can play a little on the guitar.
M: What do you hope to be able to do next Christmas that you can't do this year?
H: Um...I'd like to learn to play bass. Um...I'd like to get a job and buy a pocket bike. Learn a few more magic tricks.
M: What does Christmas mean to you?
H: Um...Not really much. It's just another holiday, I guess. I do appreciate celebrating the birth of Jesus, though.

The Christmas Interviews, Part Three: The Monet Files

Mama: Are you having a good Christmas?
Monet: Yeah. A really good Christmas.
Mama: What's your favorite gift this year?
Him: Probably pirates. The pirate set with the harpoon and the octopus.
M: What was the worst part about Christmas?
Him: Probably Dad having to drive someone and it took a long time.
M: What's the best gift you gave?
Him: Heroscape extension set which was to Houdin.
M: Was there anything you really, really, really wanted but you didn't get?
Him: The huge pirate set.
M: Was there anything you didn't ask for that you're really glad you got?
Him: Narnia soundtrack. No, no, no. And, uh, the pocketknife thing!
M: Was there anything you got that you don't like?
Him: These little cheap squirt guns.
M: Do you remember any of the gifts you got last year?
Him: Um...that big treehouse thing that had like string people.
M: What can you do this year that you couldn't do last Christmas?
Him: Um...play piano and guitar...um...is that it?
M: What do you hope to be able to do next Christmas that you can't do this year?
Him: Get a remote control car.
M: What does Christmas mean to you?
Him: Giving and taking.

The Christmas Interviews, Part Two: The Sweetheart Files

Mama: Are you having a good Christmas?
Sweetheart: Yes.
Mama: What's your favorite gift this year?
S: Well, I'm not sure. Everything. The books are pretty good. I like the one with the pictures, and I like the Barbies, too. And the Playmobil! I'm playing with them right now. I don't know what else to say.
M: What was the worst part about Christmas?
S: Um...I don't know. The devil.
M: What's the best gift you gave?
S: The markers for Monet. He likes those. He was just like, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"
M: Was there anything you really, really, really wanted but you didn't get?
S: Well, I really wanted American Girls doll and a lamb, but I didn't get them, so I'm gonna save up my money and get them, so it doesn't really matter.
M: Was there anything you didn't ask for that you're really glad you got?
S: Well, Barbies. And books. But I don't know how to read. And Playmobil! That's what I didn't ask for.
M: Was there anything you got that you don't like?
S: Nothing. No. Nothing.
M: Do you remember any of the gifts you got last year?
S: I think I got a couple of Barbies. And I got Chocolate Oranges and lots of candies. And in our stockings, I think we got dolls. And clothes...pajamas. I don't know what else.
M: What can you do this year that you couldn't do last Christmas?
S: I don't know. Jumping on the trampoline.
M: What do you hope to be able to do next Christmas that you can't do this year?
S: Oh...get a pony and ride on it.

The Christmas Interviews, Part One: The Baby Files

Mama: Are you having a good Christmas?
The Baby: Uh huh. But my sister is not going to give me her toys.
Mama: What's your favorite toy?
The Baby: This. (holds up doll she wrangled away from her sister)
Me: What else are you doing?
The Baby: Being nice to my sister.
Me: Did you get any good clothes?
The Baby: Yes. Like this clothes. It's...uh...other clothes.
Me: What did you do last Christmas?
The Baby: Ran away. And there was a monster behind me.

Hillyer for Christmas

 

Houdin's Vintage Cordoroy Jacket

Time to Open Presents!

 

Christmas Morning Kids

...in their Christmas pajamas!

Christmas Collage

 

Finally! A Pocketknife!

 

Thank You!