This Conversation Actually Took Place...

Sweetheart: Can I have more cake?

Loving Mother: No.

Sweetheart: Grandpa eats more bad food than I do.

Loving Mother: Not true. You would eat a lot of bad food if I didn't follow you around the house saying "No, no, no."

Sweetheart: He does too eat more bad food. That's why his teef are rotten.

Grandpa (who was not in any wars): The war did this to my teeth.

Sweetheart: You didn't have any wars.

Monet: Yes, he did, too. He was a submarine.

I kid you not.