For Firefly

Most of us will never know how dark this world can seem.
When life becomes more nightmare than a dream.
So to all of you who have survived a visit to the edge,
I trust that you will understand this pledge.

I promise I will always leave the darkness for the light.
I swear by all that's holy, I will not give up the fight.
I'll drink down death like water before I ever come again
To that dark place where I might make
The choice for life to end.

I've found that as I've traveled through the inscape of my life
That mountain tops make valleys in between.
And when that nameless sadness like a cloud comes over me,
I look back on all the brightness I have seen.

And realize that though my world might seem so torn apart
Most often it is joy that breaks the heart.
And that I am the richest woman though I must beg for bread
For the very One who might condemn has called me friend instead.

I promise I will always leave the darkness for the light.
I swear by all that's holy, I will not give up the fight.
I'll drink down death like water before I ever come again
To that dark place where I might make
The choice for life to end.

I will always leave the darkness for the light.
I will not give up the fight.

Michael Card

I've been nominated...

Well, I'm honored. I've been nominated for the Homeschool Blog Awards under the category of The Best Nitty-Gritty Homeschool Blog. The Best Nitty-Gritty Homeschool Blog is "for the homeschooler who is brutally honest and open about her mistakes and failures. These are the moms that make you feel better and let you know that it is OK that we aren’t perfect."

Honestly? That's been my goal with this blog. To tell it like it is in our family, to give hope to others who think they can't do it or aren't doing it right. I think we do a great diservice to each other in the homeschool community when we put on a facade, when we only list the five million books we're reading aloud or the twelve gazillion activities our children are involved in. Yes indeedy, we need to laugh with those who laugh, but we also need to weep with those who weep and mourn with those who mourn.

That's why I wrote Broken Branches, about the importance of fathers treating their daughters with tenderness; Battling the Demons is about my struggle against looking for the worst in my children; Changeback Messages is about the difficulty of letting go and trusting my children to be safe in their travels; and, for a lighthearted look at the nitty gritty, Boy of Summer is a piece about something my son is simply not good at--and a bunch of things he is.

So, yes, I'm honored that someone has nominated me for the best nitty gritty homeschool blog. Even if I don't win, at least I know I'm headed in the right direction.

After tragedy, laundry...

"We should all do what, in the long run, gives us joy, even if it is only picking grapes or sorting the laundry.”

~E.B. White

I do enjoy clean laundry. I enjoy smelling it, whether on myself or on other people, wearing it, seeing it whipping in the wind or even soaking in the rain. I even enjoy folding it and putting it away if it's fresh from the dryer, toasty and effluvious. There are few things that make me as feel prepared and organized as having freshly laundered clothes, sheets, rugs and curtains gracing my abode.

This may hearken back to the days of my youth. Then, I didn't care much for laundry one way or the other. I was like most children--yes, even like my own--who considered the term "put your clothes away" to mean "shove them under the bed or throw them on the closet floor." I also equated the term "clean your room" with "pull out all of those clean clothes from under your bed and on your closet floor and throw them in the laundry hamper."

We had a hamper back then. It was a kind of plasticky wicker, golden in color, with a solid hinged top. It sat at the end of the hallway and the dirty (or, in my case, clean) clothes disappeared from it and reappeared in my closet or drawers. Now that I think about it, I don't believe I ever really had to put my own clothes away. I just took off the clean outfit I didn't want to wear and put it in the hamper. Does anyone have hampers anymore?

What I did have to do, however, was take the clothes out of the dryer. The best way to get out of this, of course, was to pop open the dryer door, feel the clothes, and make an assessment. Not dry yet. Whether they were dry or not, I could garner a few more moments of freedom if I snapped the door shut and restarted the dryer.

This worked okay for the clothesline, too. It was my job to haul the big plastic laundry basket out to the back yard and retrieve the clothes from the line. After more than a time or two of claiming they weren't dry yet, I eventually had to pay the piper. If it was an especially warm and breezy day, I couldn't even get away with one round of procrastination.

There was an art to removing the clothes from the line. Foremost was the placement of the clothesline pole, a long aluminum rod with a kind of v-shaped attachment on one end which doubled quite well as a lion-taming rod, sword, lightsaber or javelin. If the clothesline rod weren't strategically positioned, clothes would--GASP!--touch the ground, and then the whole thing was a mess. The best thing to do was begin with the sheets, then other long stuff like crispy, crackly, stiff towels and cardboard jeans. After those were snapped and wrangled into submission, it was time for shirts, which hung upside down so as to avoid pointy shoulders, and then washcloths and underwear. While I never claimed to enjoy this activity, I still have fond memories of it and recall being very precise about how I organized the clothes int he baskets.

Clotheslines took a hiatus from my life until about six years ago when we were living in a small cabin with very minimal electricity. For many months, "doing laundry" meant packing fifteen million baskets of dirty things and toting them up a gravel footpath to the car which would take us to the local dirty laundromat. This was a total and complete conflict. The joy of clean clothes meets the dread of the filthy place. What on earth was in those washing machines before my load? And who had folded their clothes on this table before I? Still, baskets of fluffy, fresh wash was the payoff, and even when I was largely pregnant, I enjoyed getting the clothes clean. Joy of joys, I can still remember the day my dear husband lugged our old washing machine from our city house to our country cabin, rigged it up on the front porch, and made me one happy woman. A top-notch clothesline was constructed which stretched from my porch to a distant tree, between two pulleys. Some strong connection to my ancestors surfaced when I laundered my clothes then; with my hillbilly washin' setup, I'd step from my cabin onto the porch and pull those wet clothes from the washer. With each snap of a clothespin, I felt a sense of purpose and accomplishment much different than my writing, childrearing, research and volunteer work gave me. It forced me, too, to slow way, way down, to bring my daily routine to a crawl. And because it was my only means of doing laundry aside from the last-resort laundromat, that slow-down period was completely necessary.

Now, some people claim to love the smell of line-dried laundry. I'll confess. I don't like it. While I'm truly a nature-girl through-and-through, give me a Downy-fluffed, machine-dried towel over a stiff-as-a-board, wet-dog smelling line-dried one any day. I guess I'll never make it as a homesteading purist.

Who knew that something so inocuous as laundry would come so close to being tragic?

When we built our house several years ago, one of the features I lobbied very hard to acquire was a second-floor laundry room, and a nice one at that. I had to do a lot of fast-talking to convince my husband that it would be safe and very, very handy. For nights, he researched dryer ducts and washer pans before he was assured. I've rarely been unhappy with the choice. It's very definitely convenient to pull the clothes from the dryer and whisk them right to their destinations. If I have a terribly large pile, baskets full of clean laundry travel from the laundry to my bedroom where my queen-sized bed is transformed into a folding center. I turn up the tunes while my tee-shirts tumble-dry, putzing around the bedroom doing odd jobs. By the end of the day, the laundry is done and the bedroom's in order. Quite productive, indeed.

So, I had a new second-floor laundry with an efficient flourescent light and some handy shelves, but because we'd decided on hickory doors and custom kitchen cabinets, there really was no appliance budget. We took some of the little cash we had and bought a very old, very used washer and dryer pair from a very old, very used furniture store. The clothes have never felt clean to me, and I don't think it's just because it was someone else's washing machine. For one thing, the hot water feature stopped working about six months ago, and the fabric softener dispenser had a very crafty way of tossing all of the liquid around the top of the machine, completely avoiding the clothes. On top of all of that, the clothes never smelled clean, no matter what kind of detergent or fabric softener I would use.

But it wasn't the washing machine that caused the real problem. It was actually the dryer that conspired against us.

My husband and I were minding our own business, sitting in our bedroom having a heated discussion about global warming, when the fire alarms started to sound. I didn't jump up, I'm ashamed to say. But, in my defense, we have the kind of fire alarms that go off when the toast is too brown, or when the shower's too hot, or when the summer humidity is too high, or when a housefly has a fever. I figured that one of the kids was burning popcorn, so I ignored it, continuing my side of the argument. After several minutes, the alarms were still sounding, so I decided to see what those crazy kids were doing.

Once in the hallway, it became clear that this wasn't your average popcorn smoke. The hall was filled with a thick, plastic-smelling grayness that sent me toward the kitchen, assuming that it was something left in the microwave too long. Fortunately for us, we had left the laundry room door open. Had it been closed, I'd likely have continued past it and headed down to the first floor. If I had, we might have lost our home. What I saw, out of the corner of my eye, was a pile of flaming clothes flickering on the floor in front of the dryer. I strolled as calmly as I could back into the bedroom and stated, "Um. We actually have, um, a fire..."

Bo leapt from his spot and raced to the laundry room where he quickly called everyone to action. Ironically, a decorated ash bucket that my mother-in-law had filled with pretty girly things and had given the girls for Christmas, was put to use as an anti-fire weapon. I dashed back and forth between the laundry room and the bathtub, filling pails and soaking towels to put out the ever-increasing fire. One of us insisted that Bard gather the kids and get them outside. Every minute that passed had us wondering how long it would be before we'd have to join our kids outside, too and watch helplessly as our house burned to the ground.

Thank God, Bo was able to extinguish the fire and disconnect the gas dryer, which we had determined was actually burning inside, at the motor. With the help of Houdin, he hauled the dryer out to the front yard and we proceeded to fill baskets with smoldering laundry, dumping it into the bathtub and the front yard.

Obviously, at the moment when I was able to breathe a sigh of relief and praise God for our safety, I wasn't thinking about the fact that I no longer had a dryer. I was just trying to absorb the shock of having a fire in my house. But, before long, five kids, five dogs, two adults, a cat and a live-in father made me quite aware of the fact that we'd need to replace that dryer.

Money's tight. At this point, a trip to the laundromat was more affordable than a brand new dryer, even at sixty bucks a pop. Not enjoyable, just more affordable. It was clear, though, after one massive laundry trip, that this couldn't last.

Yesterday, I arrived home from work to a wonderful early birthday gift. My dear husband had shopped for and purchased not only a brand new dryer, but a fabulous, awesome, amazing new washing machine! I am now the proud owner of a Whirlpool Cabrio washer and a Duet dryer, two of the top-consumer-rated machines. Two of the BIGGEST machines on the market!

So when I got home from the greenhouse today, I started washing everything I could get my hands on--blankets, pillowcases, socks, slippers, stuffed animals, small children, large dogs, annoying relatives--and entertaining myself by watching the load swish and swash (the machine has a clear top), admiring the bright lights and colorful knobs (Sweetheart and I even turned off the lights so we could pretend we were in a spaceship), and reading the owner's manual to learn about all the mad skills my new machines have.

I'll bet my mother would laugh if she could see my washing machine, if she knew that I actually have to read a manual to know how to use it. She'd probably be a bit baffled that I throw all of the clothes in the dryer and the dryer actually knows when the clothes are dry. I'll bet she could never imagine hanging her clothes on the line and having a little timer tell her how long it will be until they were ready to be put away, or having a moisture sensor check them for doneness.

And even though I will continue to love my fluffy, fresh-from-the-dryer towels, I'm still lobbying for a clothesline.

Stream of Consciousness Whilst I Avoid Getting Ready for Church

I really should be taking a shower now, but I'm here instead stealing what few moments I can get to press my fingers against these keys and make some clickity-clacking noise.
Life has been moving at breakneck speed.
The greenhouse, where I've been spending most of my time, has been burgeoning with life.
The greenhouse, where I've been spending most of my time, opens tomorrow.
The Pierce Pettis show was tops. We had over 70 people here and Pierce was a real trooper, singing his lungs out even though he was recovering from bronchitis.
We had a great jam session after the show where about a half-dozen musicians, including Pierce, had fun with songs like Man of Constant Sorrow, Aimee, Harvest Moon and lots of old-time tunes, reels and jigs. A few of us practiced our Irish step dancing. Some of us weren't as good as others. Still, it was quite fun.
I got to cuddle on my nieces and nephews, which was quite loverly.
Bo and I have still been delivering pizzas.
I've still been working, ever so slowly, on the Couch Potato to 5K. Kim and I ran a mile straight on Friday. And I'm still alive.
School has been a very, very hit and miss with my work at the greenhouse. Reading aloud has suffered. The boys did come to the greenhouse with me on Friday and did some schoolwork there, but it was quite distracting for them, so they didn't get a whole lot done. I hope to set up a table somewhere where they can work and not be distracted. It's such a beautiful work environment.
Bard has also been working at the greenhouse, when she isn't doing speech and debate or classes or drama.
Spring is here! My perennials are coming up, and I'm quite jazzed about that.
My asparagus didn't come up, and I'm quite bummed about that.
I think I lost my red raspberries too. The goats got out and made short work of them.
I haven't lost my weeds.
Bo tilled the gardens yesterday. He made a couple of patches for pumpkins and melons as well.
The boys have been working on their treehouses. REMIND ME TO WRITE ABOUT THIS!
I have to get ready for church. I know there's more, like the baby goats and houseconcert stuff and dinners out (I have to write about my early birthday dinner!) but I really need to get in the shower now.
Be blessed!

Preparing for Pierce

I'm exhausted but wide awake. This time tomorrow evening, I'll be basking in the afterglow of our March houseconcert--Pierce Pettis.

I'm so thrilled to host Pierce at The Sprouted Acorn--honored that he'd say "yes" to such a small venue when people of less stature than he have said no. Maybe it will help us get our foot in the door elsewhere. Bring some good music to this sleepy 5,000 horse town.

And the numbers will help, too. As of now, the count is at about 66 guests. Sixty-six! That's a whole lotta people milling around my kitchen, ya know? I'm really looking forward.

The cheesecakes are in various stages of done-ness. Fifteen-year-old Houdin made two--a milk chocolate oreo crust cheesecake and a turtle cheesecake, and I made a caramel cashew cheesecake and a chocolate cherry cheesecake, with cherries actually baked in between layers of cheesecake. Tomorrow it will be time to make my electric roaster full of lentil soup, prepare the cabin for Pierce's overnight stay, and get ready for a rush of people.

It's been a lot of work. It still will be a lot of work. But it's something I enjoy. I often wonder if I could make a living doing this houseconcert thing. Would people come? Could we make any money? Right now, 100% of ticket sales go to the artist, and we lose money every time--with food, paper products, coffee, preparing for the day, etc. But the family enjoys it, and I'm always completely floored when I sit on my couch and watch these amazing musicians fill my home with their incredible sounds.

I have to sleep. I need to sleep. Do I want to sleep? Of course not. But once I get there, I'll be glad I did.

Role with It...

Lately there have been a lot of thoughts running through my head about my role in life.

I seem to get like this specifically when I'm busy with things that pull me away from the home, like work (right now, I'm working for a local greenhouse part-time), or classes (either my kids' or my own), or volunteer work, or activities, or social gatherings. My being gone really takes a toll on the state of the house. Right now, it's a disaster area. And that causes me a lot of stress.

But being gone takes a lot of toll on me, too. What I really want is to be a home-maker. I want to be with my kids, read to them, bake things, cook meals, clean the house, do laundry.... I know, I know. It sounds so June Cleaverish. But it's true. Nothing relaxes me more than a clean, organized home, a neat yard and a bucolic barnyard full of well-cared for animals.

Unfortunately, I'm the only one in my family who really has strong desires regarding these things.

So I feel like I spend a good portion of my time fighting the inevitable messes and prodding, bribing and threatening the masses to take a look around and take a bit of inintiative and take CARE of things!

Lately, I've been feeling the pull to get me back in the house. I almost feel like I'm caught in a trap, expending time and energy at the greenhouse, forensics club, choir, and even the housecare things that take me away from home, like grocery and thrift store shopping, and I'm wondering if it's all really where God wants to have me.

I'd like to wrap up this post by saying I had a wonderfully insightful epiphany about this while showering this morning.

But I can't. Because I haven't.

Last week when we were preparing for the forensics tournament, I just felt like my life was completely out-of-control, how I spend a lot of time serving in other areas for other people, and then my own home, health and family suffer because of the time we spend away. As we were preparing to leave, The Baby, who's four, wrapped her arms around me and said, "You're leaving again? Already?" and clung to me, bursting into heartbroken sobs, begging me not to go. Yesterday, after two days of being gone for the tournament, she clung to me and continually offered me "surprises" that she had for me. She was emotional, weepy and clingy. She really needed me. And I was gone. For what? What's so important? Especially in light of the fact that my other "little girl" was four just yesterday. And now, she's seventeen.

It's a complicated thing, this life. And being a mother? Oh. My. Goodness. Pressures like I never would have imagined.

Even at the tournament, I knew that I had certain responsibilities, but I also had children who were presenting pieces and wanted me to see them. No matter which choice I made, I felt guilty. If I went to see them, I felt like I was shirking my responsibilities. If I didn't go see them and made myself available for other things, I felt guilty for not being a good mother.

I think part of it is always second-guessing myself about what I'm "supposed" to be doing. Or maybe just what I think other people think I'm *supposed* to be doing.

Like now. I'm supposed to be running, and shopping for a dryer, and buying milk for my family and another family, and dropping things off at the thrift store, and checking on the goats, and heading to the greenhouse.

But I'm here. Trying to figure our my role in life.

Have you ever struggled with this?

We Survived!

This past weekend was the forensics tournament for our homeschool forensics club, and I'm actually still alive, thankyouverymuch.

It was a long weekend, but it was exciting and eventful. Our club hosted the event, so in addition to preparing my own family for the tournament, there were meals to make, shopping and worrying to do, and preparations to...prepare. I was the Individual Event Judge Orienteer, so I had to think of all of the things that are important for judges to know when they're filling out ballots for young speakers. While I had a DVD to work with, the DVD player at the church decided that it didn't really feel like playing the DVD, so I did two of the orientations pretty much from a script, making sure to focus on all of the things that are especially important.

Some people fell asleep. And, based on the ballots my children got back, some simply didn't listen at all.

But that's okay. It was a very good experience, and, while my own children didn't place in any of the events, they debated their hearts out and had good marks for their speech presentations. From the looks of things, Bard was in 5th place going into the final round for her Programmed Oral Interp piece, had very good speaker points for debate, especially for her first tournament going against advanced debaters, and ahd decent marks on her Humorous Duo Interp piece. Houdin didn't do well in his debate rounds at all, but he received some very constructive, helpful advice on how to improve, and he did quite well in his speech events. As a matter of fact, with a bit more practice and polishing, he may even place next tournament.

Sweetheart did VERY well, and while they don't give places for her age division, she did get a certificate and candy (though her candy was stolen before she could eat it all) and she had many very good comments on her presentation. Monet, too, had excellent points and comments, and simply needs to work on annunciating more clearly.

Our club took many of the events, including first and second place HDUO, first place Impromptu Apologetics, first in Sweeps and first in Informative.

Our next tournament is in four weeks, the same weekend as Sweetheart's birthday and just a few days after mine.

Today, I really just worked on recovering. From everything. The tournament, my 8 minute running intervals, our dryer combusting, work, preparing for the tournament, and attending the tournament itself. I slept in, caught up on our houseconcert responsibilities, did laundry and enjoyed my family. We worked on speeches and ate leftover soup and read ballots and did more laundry.

And now it's time to recover from my day, so off to bed I go.

Why I love my daughter

While there are many very decent reasons for me to love my firstborn child, my dear daughter, my young genius, I've just this evening added yet another.

As we were driving home from choral practice, a trip that takes over an hour, I was enjoying her iPod's music mix--Peter Mayer, Jack Johnson, Five Iron Frenzy, U2, Chris Rice, John Mayer, Barenaked Ladies, Bob and Doug Mackenzie--and we were all bopping along to the tunes when, suddenly, a familiar melody filled the van.

"...for so long
You and me been findin' each other for so long
The feelin' that I feel for you is
Growin' stronger
Take it from me
If you give a little more than you're askin' for
Your love will turn the key..."

Yes, my darling daughter had loaded Andy Gibb's "Everything" onto her iPod. My eldest son, soon-to-be sixteen-year-old Houdin, could sing the words AND hit the notes.

Of course I thanked Bard for the wonderful gift. She tells me there's more. Tune in next week to hear what other blasts from the past my daughter will share with me.

My heart is still going "pitter-pat."

Couch Potato to 5K: Hit the Road!

Kim and I hit the trail on Friday morning. I wasn't really up for running and had planned to slowly acclimate to the trail with a nice, brisk 3 mile walk. Kim had other plans. She arrived with stopwatch in hand, encouraging me to get back into the swing.

It wasn't all that bad, save the nagging nausea that seems to attack partway through the first leg of my run. I've done a bit of reading, and, apparently, that's just from being out of shape. I've tried eating and not eating, both with the same result, so it seems that I simply need to keep at it and the nausea will abate.

The schedule:

5 min run
4 min walk
5 min run
4 min walk
5 min run
Walk the remainder of the 3.3 miles (or so)

Today, I decided to run on my country road. It wasn't all that bad, and even the small hills were okay to tackle. I took it very, very slowly, jogged .6 of a mile, walked a minute or two, then jogged .5 mile. I was sweaty and it was definitely enough of a workout for me, but I hope to get up to jogging the whole thing, then adding to it.

Interestingly enough, I was most concerned about what the neighbors would think of the "crazy English woman" running on the road. I guess if I do it long enough, we'll all get used to it.

Tomorrow, it's off to the trail with Kim again. I'll try for 8 minutes of jogging. I think I'm ready for the push.

::: what a month! :::

My first instinct is to tell you what a terrible month it's been. I mean, if these things happened to you, you'd probably think it pretty terrible, too.

After all, it's not everyday that you see your life flash before your eyes. That kind of thing tends to happen when you're taking a trip, round a dark corner in your minivan stuffed with all of your children, half of their belongings, and your husband at the helm and suddenly become blinded by the oncoming headlights of a semi-truck. In our case, the occupants of our vehicle became silent. Wide-eyed and silent. As if that weren't scary enough, once the semi-driver realized that he was in our lane, approaching our vehicle in a very wrong way, he jerked himself back into his lane, leaving his trailer to struggle to follow suit around the curve. I watched as our lane grew more and more narrow, the semi-trailer approaching on our left, a steep drop-off and dense forest loomin on our right. My husband kept his wits, drove steady-on, and we were soon (though it felt like years) on the other side of the whole ordeal, breathing deeply and fighting the urge to vomit. After I was able to speak, I asked Bo, "What were your thoughts just then?"

"I knew it was over. I knew it would be quick and no one would be left behind. A truck hitting us at 60 is like hitting a brick wall at 120. It would have happened very quickly and painlessly."

"Then after the cab passed, what did you think then?"

"Then I was scared. We'd either hit the trailer, or we'd go off into the trees. And that...that would have been painful."

The rest of the drive to my sister-in-law's house was relatively uneventful, but those few moments kept my heart racing and my mind turning.

These are the kinds of moments that have peppered the last few weeks. A missing toddler; an emergency brake that didn't release and cost over $700 in repairs; triplet kids born to a nanny goat who decided that one of them wasn't worth worrying about so she rejected it, leaving it to die; time on the treadmill that made it feel like I'd been regressing instead of progressing; an close to midnight discovery of a fire in our laundry room that almost burned out of control and could have taken our whole house.

All of this packed into less than a month. Less than three weeks, actually.

And my first reaction is to tell you how horrible these three weeks have been.

But I can't do that, can I?

Because the semi-truck missed us. The toddler was found. The brakes didn't give out until we got home from Cincinatti. The goat kid was brought to health thanks to a very knowledgeable friend and goat-lover. I was able to hit the trail instead of the treadmill and do better than I'd thought I would. My husband was able to put out the fire, and only a dryer and a few items of clothing were lost.

In addition, we didn't owe money in income tax. Neither did our daughter, or my live-in father. We actually got money back! I've begun working at the greenhouse, and my first paycheck went towards paying for the brake repairs. A distant family member sent $1300 for the children's education, just in time to make a decision about Bard's trip to Germany this summer, though the family member knew nothing about the Germany trip. And several people have sent Bard money for her trip, so she will indeed get to go. Bo turned forty, and his family gave him a wonderful surprise party, blessing him with their time and gifts.

How can I focus on the near-tragedies, when God has made them all into miracles?

It's been a fabulous month, and I thank God for it.

Drawing of the church by Monet when he was 9.

Playing at a Thrift Store Near YOU

Okay, so it may not be near you, but if it is, stop into my favorite thrift store (if you know me, you know where it is. If you're a stalker, get lost) this Saturday and see Almost Dublin Over, a Celtic group featuring my good friend Linda, her daughter E. and my dear husband Bo. Should be a rockin' time.

I Would Eat It In the Rain!

It's unbelievable.

It was always my very strong opinion that there are "fish and seafood" people and there are those who hate fish and seafood. I always classified myself as the latter.

But, somehow, I've become a fish eater.

I know. I can hardly comprehend it myself.

After reading this list, I decided to try adding some salmon to my diet. I was sure I'd hate it. It would be fishy. It would taste like seaweed. I'd never like it. Never. Not ever.

So Saturday night, I was craving meat. Hunger overtook me and before long, Bo and I were visiting a restaurant in Cincy at ten at night. I looked at the menu, searching for a big, juicy burger, and I saw that the restaurant featured TWO salmon dishes. It had to mean something. I ordered the salmon, hedging my bets by making a deal with Bo. He'd order a burger, and if I totally hated the fish, he'd trade with me.

I do like salmon, Sam-I-Am!

Not only did I like it, I actually preferred it over the burger.

Astounding.

I bought a few salmon filets and prepared them for the family tonight. What a hit! I'd post the recipe over at Time to Cook, but it doesn't qualify because it only took minutes to prepare. So I'll post it here.

1/3 cup lemon juice
1 clove of minced garlic
1/3 cup olive oil
fresh rosemary (or dried, if you don't have fresh)
a teaspoon of crushed thyme
lemon zest
salt to taste
salmon

Marinate the salmon at room temp for about a half-hour. Grill or broil, basting once half-way through. I used my contact grill and it was done in no time. I served it with this:

Snow Peas

1 pound of snow peas
2 tablespoons of olive oil
2 tablespoons of worcestershire sauce
2 cloves of garlic
a dash of lemon juice
a pinch of thyme
a pinch of salt

Mix all of this together, then spread in a baking dish in a single layer. Bake at 450 degrees farenheit for seven minutes, til tender but not soft.

Very yum.

I think I can handle this new way of eating.

::: forty :::

Over the weekend, we celebrated Bo's birthday at his sister's house in Cincinnati. He thought he was just going to install a water softener and conditioning system, but we had other plans for him. His sister planned a wonderful surprise, invited his grandfather, parents and siblings in, put Bo and me up in a very nice hotel for the night, and treated Bo to a forty minute massage. Other gifts he received were:

Forty socks
Forty heath bars
Forty guitar picks
Forty ounces of coffee
Forty pennies, forty nickles, forty dimes, forty quarters
Another forty-minute massage
Forty mardi-gras beads, each one representing a memory or kind word about Bo spoken by all of his family members
Forty miscellaneous things
Forty cups of McDonald's coffee (from me. McD's is his favorite)

And his brother-in-law Brent sang him this song, titled, of course, "Forty."

One, two, three, four

I waited patiently for the Lord
He inclined and heard my cry
He brought me up out of the pit
Out of the miry clay

I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song

How long to sing this song?
How long to sing this song?
How long, how long
How long, how long to sing this song?

He set my feet upon a rock
And made my footsteps firm
Many will see
Many will see and fear

I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song

How long to sing this song?
How long to sing this song?
How long, how long
How long, how long to sing this song?

Thanks, Jerren, for planning the weekend. It was very, very nice.

Happy birthday, Bo! May you be blessed today and always.

Happy Forty, Bo!

My dear, darling husband, who's sick in bed with a headcold, is forty years old today. Please wish him a happy birthday, and offer him up some prayers for quick recovery.

I love you, Husband!

The Problem with Praise

"For a few decades, it’s been noted that a large percentage of all gifted students (those who score in the top 10 percent on aptitude tests) severely underestimate their own abilities. Those afflicted with this lack of perceived competence adopt lower standards for success and expect less of themselves."

This article, via TrueVyne, is going to take some real attention. I think it's something I really need to absorb.

The 15 foods runners need every week for good health and top performance

I didn't run today, but I did get encouragement from your comments as well as from a fellow runner today. I hope to run sometime this weekend, if the weather permits, but in the meantime, I found this article online while searching for the best foods for runners. Very good to read. I hope to implement more of them. I already buy mixed greens, frozen berries, raw and salted almonds, yogurt, oranges and bananas and I ocassionally use whole grain pasta but I've also been making my own pasta and haven't experimented with the whole grain stuff yet. What I really need to add are eggs (don't like 'em), salmon (not a big fish eater. Like to the tune of I never eat it), and chicken is so expensive that I rarely buy it. But I know that if I and my family are going to start running, we have to eat to run, as one commenter said. So, here, according to Runner's World, is the...

The Best Grocery List of All Time

The 15 foods runners need every week for good health and top performance
By Liz Applegate Ph.D.

Most supermarkets stock more than 30,000 items, yet every time we race up and down the aisles of the grocery store, we toss into our carts the same 10 to 15 foods. Which isn't such a bad thing, as long as you're taking home the right foods--ones that will keep you healthy, fuel peak performance, and easily cook up into lots of delicious meals. So before your next trip to the grocery store, add the following 15 foods to your must-buy list. Then, when you get home, use our tips and recipes to easily get them into your diet and onto your menu.


Add to your cart: Almonds

Runners should eat a small handful of almonds at least three to five times per week. Nuts, especially almonds, are an excellent source of vitamin E, an antioxidant that many runners fall short on because there are so few good food sources of it. Studies have shown that eating nuts several times per week lowers circulating cholesterol levels, particularly the artery-clogging LDL type, decreasing your risk for heart disease. And the form of vitamin E found in nuts, called gamma-tocopherol (a form not typically found in supplements), may also help protect against cancer.

Add to your diet: Add almonds and other nuts to salads or pasta dishes, use as a topping for casseroles, or throw them into your bowl of hot cereal for extra crunch. Combine with chopped dried fruit, soy nuts, and chocolate bits for a healthy and tasty trail mix. Almond butter is perfect spread over whole-grain toast or on a whole-wheat tortilla, topped with raisins, and rolled up. Store all nuts in jars or zipper bags in a cool dry place away from sunlight and they'll keep for about two to four months. Storing them in the freezer will allow them to keep an extra month or two.

Add to your cart: Eggs

One egg fulfills about 10 percent of your daily protein needs. Egg protein is the most complete food protein short of human breast milk, which means the protein in eggs contains all the crucial amino acids your hard-working muscles need to promote recovery. Eat just one of these nutritional powerhouses and you'll also get about 30 percent of the Daily Value (DV) for vitamin K, which is vital for healthy bones. And eggs contain choline, a brain nutrient that aids memory, and leutin, a pigment needed for healthy eyes. Choose omega-3 enhanced eggs and you can also increase your intake of healthy fats. Don't worry too much about the cholesterol: Studies have shown that egg eaters have a lower risk for heart disease than those who avoid eggs.

Add to your diet: Whether boiled, scrambled, poached, or fried (in a nonstick skillet to cut down on the need for additional fats), eggs are great anytime. Use them as the base for skillet meals such as frittatas. Or include them in sandwiches, burritos, or wraps as you would meat fillers. You can also add them to casseroles and soups by cracking one or two in during the last minute of cooking.

Add to your cart: Sweet potatoes

This Thanksgiving Day standard should be on the plates of runners year-round. Just a single 100-calorie sweet potato supplies over 250 percent of the DV for vitamin A in the form of beta-carotene, the powerful antioxidant. Sweet potatoes are also a good source of vitamin C, potassium, iron, and the two trace minerals manganese and copper. Many runners fail to meet their manganese and copper needs, which can have an impact on performance since these minerals are crucial for healthy muscle function. There are even new sweet-potato varieties that have purple skin and flesh and contain anthocyanidins, the same potent antioxidant found in berries.

Add to your diet: Sweet potatoes can be baked, boiled, or microwaved. You can fill them with bean chili, low-fat cheese, and your favorite toppings, or you can incorporate them into stews and soups. Baked as wedges or disks, sweet potatoes make delicious oven fries. Don't store sweet potatoes in the fridge because they will lose their flavor. Instead, stash them in a cool, dark place, and they should keep for about two weeks.

Add to your cart: Whole-Grain Cereal with Protein

Look for whole-grain cereals that offer at least five grams of fiber and at least eight grams of protein. For example, one cup of Kashi GoLean cereal, which is made from seven different whole grains, including triticale, rye, and buckwheat, fills you up with a hefty 10 grams of fiber (that's 40 percent of the DV) and is loaded with heart-healthy phytonutrients. It also contains soy grits, supplying 13 grams of protein per serving. If you pour on a cup of milk or soymilk, you'll get 30 to 40 percent of your protein needs as a runner in one bowl. Other high-protein/high-fiber cereals include Nature's Path Optimum Rebound and Back to Nature Flax & Fiber Crunch.

Add to your diet: Of course whole-grain cereal is excellent for breakfast--a meal you don't want to skip since research indicates that those who eat breakfast are healthier, trimmer, and can manage their weight better than nonbreakfast eaters. Cereal also makes a great postrun recovery meal with its mix of carbohydrates and protein. Or you can sprinkle whole-grain cereal on top of your yogurt, use it to add crunch to casseroles, or tote it along in a zip bag.

Add to your cart: Oranges

Eat enough oranges and you may experience less muscle soreness after hard workouts such as downhill running. Why? Oranges supply over 100 percent of the DV for the antioxidant vitamin C, and a recent study from the University of North Carolina Greensboro showed that taking vitamin C supplements for two weeks prior to challenging arm exercises helped alleviate muscle soreness. This fruit's antioxidant powers also come from the compound herperidin found in the thin orange-colored layer of the fruit's skin (the zest). Herperidin has been shown to help lower cholesterol levels and high blood pressure as well.

Add to your diet: Add orange sections to fruit and green salads, or use the orange juice and pulp for sauces to top chicken, pork, or fish. And to benefit from the antioxidant herperidin, use the orange zest in baking and cooking, as with my Grilled Herbed Salmon recipe (above). Select firm, heavy oranges, and store them in the fridge for up to three weeks. Orange zest can be stored dried in a glass jar for about a week if kept in a cool place.

Add to your cart: Canned Black Beans

One cup of these beauties provides 30 percent of the DV for protein, almost 60 percent of the DV for fiber (much of it as the cholesterol-lowering soluble type), and 60 percent of the DV for folate, a B vitamin that plays a key role in heart health and circulation. Black beans also contain antioxidants, and researchers theorize that this fiber-folate-antioxidant trio is why a daily serving of beans appears to lower cholesterol levels and heart-disease risk. In addition, black beans and other legumes are low glycemic index (GI) foods, meaning the carbohydrate in them is released slowly into the body. Low GI foods can help control blood sugar levels and may enhance performance because of their steady release of energy.

Add to your diet: For a quick, hearty soup, open a can of black beans and pour into chicken or vegetable stock along with frozen mixed veggies and your favorite seasonings. Mash beans with salsa for an instant dip for cut veggies, or spread onto a whole-wheat tortilla for a great recovery meal. Add beans to cooked pasta or rice for extra fiber and protein.

Add to your cart: Mixed Salad Greens

Rather than selecting one type of lettuce for your salad, choose mixed greens, which typically offer five or more colorful delicate greens such as radicchio, butter leaf, curly endive, and mache. Each variety offers a unique blend of phytonutrients that research suggests may fend off age-related diseases, such as Alzheimer's, cancer, heart disease, and diabetes. These phytonutrients also act as antioxidants, warding off muscle damage brought on by tough workouts. You can usually buy mixed greens in bulk or prewashed in bags.

Add to your diet: Toss a mixed greens salad with tomato, cucumber, scallions, and an olive oil-based dressing (the fat from the oil helps your body absorb the phytonutrients). You can also stuff mixed greens in your sandwiches, wraps, and tacos. Or place them in a heated skillet, toss lightly until wilted, and use as a bed for grilled salmon, chicken, or lean meat. Greens store best in a salad spinner or the crisper drawer in your fridge for up to six days. Just don't drench them in water or they won't keep as long.

Add to you cart: Salmon

Nutrition-wise, salmon is the king of fish. Besides being an excellent source of high-quality protein (you get about 30 grams in a four-ounce serving), salmon is one of the best food sources of omega-3 fats. These essential fats help balance the body's inflammation response, a bodily function that when disturbed appears to be linked to many diseases including asthma. A recent study showed that people with exercise-induced asthma saw an improvement in symptoms after three weeks of eating more fish oil. If you've been limiting seafood due to possible mercury or PCB contamination, simply aim for a variety of farm-raised and wild salmon for maximum health benefits.

Add to your diet: Bake, grill, or poach salmon with fresh herbs and citrus zest. Gauge cooking time by allotting 10 minutes for every inch of fish (steaks or fillets). Salmon should flake when done. Precooked (leftover) or canned salmon is great in salads, tossed into pasta, stirred into soups, or on top of pizza. Fresh fish keeps one to two days in the fridge, or you can freeze it in a tightly sealed container for about four to five months.

Add to your cart: Whole-Grain Bread

Runners need at least three to six one-ounce servings of whole grains per day, and eating 100 percent whole-grain bread (as opposed to just whole-grain bread, which may contain some refined grains and flours) is an easy way to meet this requirement since one slice equals one serving. Whole-grain bread may also help weight-conscious runners. One study showed that women who eat whole-grain bread weigh less than those who eat refined white bread and other grains. Whole-grain eaters also have a 38 percent lower risk of suffering from metabolic syndrome, which is characterized by belly fat, low levels of the good cholesterol, and high blood sugar levels. All this raises the risk for heart disease and cancer.

Add to your diet: Bread is versatile, portable, and ready to eat right out of the wrapper. Spread with peanut butter or stuff with your favorite sandwich fillings and plenty of sliced veggies for a one-handed recovery meal. Coat with a beaten egg for French toast, or use as layers or crumbled in a casserole. Just be sure the label says 100 percent whole grain (all the grains and flours included in the ingredients should be listed as whole, not milled or refined). And don't just stick with the popular 100 percent whole-wheat breads. Try different varieties of whole grains such as barley, buckwheat, bulgur, rye, or oat.

Add to your cart: Frozen Stir-fry Vegetables

Research shows that eating a combination of antioxidants, such as beta-carotene and vitamin C, may lessen muscle soreness after hard interval workouts by reducing the inflammation caused by free-radical damage (for more on this, see "Should You Be Afraid of Free Radicals," page 61). Most ready-to-use stir-fry veggie combos offer a potent mix of antioxidants by including red and yellow peppers, onions, bok choy, and soy beans. And frozen vegetable mixes save lots of prepping time but still provide the same nutrition as their fresh counterparts.

Add to your diet: Dump the frozen vegetables right into a hot wok or skillet, add tofu, seafood, or meat, your favorite stir-fry sauce, and serve over brown rice. Or throw them into pasta water during the last few minutes of cooking, drain, and toss with a touch of olive oil. You can also mix the frozen veggies right into soups or stews at the end of cooking, or thaw them and add to casseroles. Vegetables store well in the freezer for about four months, so make sure to date your bags.

Add to your cart: Whole-grain Pasta

Pasta has long been a runner's best friend because it contains easily digestible carbs that help you restock spent glycogen (energy) stores. Whole-grain versions are a must over refined pastas because they contain more fiber to fill you up, additional B vitamins that are crucial to energy metabolism, and disease-fighting compounds such as lignans. And even better, pastas such as Barilla Plus offer whole-grain goodness along with heart-healthy omega-3 fats from ground flaxseed and added protein from a special formula of ground lentils, multigrains, and egg whites to help with muscle repair and recovery.

Add to your diet: Pasta makes a complete one-pot meal--perfect for busy runners--when tossed with veggies, lean meat, seafood, or tofu. Or combine pasta with a light sauce, a bit of your favorite cheese, and turn it into a satisfying casserole.

Add to your cart: Chicken

Runners need about 50 to 75 percent more protein than nonrunners to help rebuild muscles and promote recovery after tough workouts. And just one four-ounce serving of chicken can supply about half a runner's daily protein needs. Along with protein, chicken contains selenium, a trace element that helps protect muscles from the free-radical damage that can occur during exercise, and niacin, a B vitamin that helps regulate fat burning during a run. New studies also suggest that people who get ample niacin in their diet have a 70 percent lower risk of developing Alzheimer's disease.

Add to your diet: Chicken's versatility makes it perfect for runners with little time to cook. You can bake, broil, grill, or poach chicken in broth. Leftover chicken works well on top of salads, mixed into pasta, or stuffed into sandwiches and burritos. Fresh chicken stores safely for two days in the fridge, but can be frozen for six months or more.

Add to your cart: Frozen Mixed Berries

The colorful compounds that make blueberries blue, blackberries deep purple, and raspberries a rich shade of red are called anthocyanins--a powerful group of antioxidants that may help stave off Alzheimer's disease and some cancers. Anthocyanins may also assist with postrun recovery and muscle repair. Not bad for a fruit group that contains a mere 60 calories or so per cup. And remember: Frozen berries are just as nutritious as fresh ones, but they keep far longer (up to nine months in the freezer), making it easier to always have them ready to eat.

Add to your diet: Frozen berries make a great base for a smoothie and there's no need to thaw them. Once thawed, eat them straight up or add to some vanilla yogurt with chopped nuts. Or liven up your hot or cold cereal with a big handful. You can also bake berries with a nutty topping of oatmeal, honey, and chopped almonds for a sweet treat after a long weekend run.

Add to your cart: Dark Chocolate

As a runner you deserve at least one indulgence--especially one you can feel so good about. Chocolate contains potent antioxidants called flavonols that can boost heart health. In one study, a group of soccer players had lower blood pressure and total cholesterol levels, and less artery-clogging LDL cholesterol after just two weeks of eating chocolate daily. Other research suggests that the chocolate flavonols ease inflammation and help prevent blood substances from becoming sticky, which lowers the risk of potential blood clots. But not just any chocolate will do. First off, dark chocolate (the darker the better) generally contains more flavonols than milk chocolate. Also, the way the cocoa beans are processed can influence the potency of the flavonols. Chocolate manufacturer Mars has developed a procedure that apparently retains much of the antioxidant powers of the flavonols, and their research shows just a little over an ounce (200 calories worth) of Dove dark

chocolate per day has heart-healthy benefits.

Add to your diet: Besides the obvious (just eat it!), you can add dark chocolate to trail mix, dip it in peanut butter (my favorite), or combine it with fruit for an even greater antioxidant punch. Just keep track of the calories. Buy chocolate wrapped in small pieces to help with portion control.

Add to your cart: Low-fat Yogurt

Besides being a good source of protein and calcium (one cup provides 13 grams of protein and 40 percent of the DV for calcium), low-fat yogurt with live cultures provides the healthy bacteria your digestive tract needs to function optimally. This good bacteria may also have anti-inflammatory powers that can offer some relief to arthritis suffers. Just look for the live-culture symbol on the yogurt carton.

Add to your diet: Low-fat yogurt is great topped with fruit, granola, or nuts, or used as a base for smoothies. Plain yogurt can be mixed with diced cucumber and herbs like dill and spread over grilled tofu, chicken, fish, and other meats. Yogurt can also double as a salad dressing with vinegar and herbs. Or mix it with fresh salsa to stand in as a dip for veggies and baked chips.

Couch Potato to 5K: Week 5, Day 2

Well, I did it. I went on to Day 2 of Week Five, which means:

Brisk five-minute warmup walk (3.8 mph), then:
Jog 3/4 mile (or 8 minutes) 5.6 mph
Walk 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes) 3.8 mph
Jog 3/4 mile (or 8 minutes) 5.6 mph

I finally realized that I need to get up to 6 mph in order to do the three miles in 1/2 an hour. Duh. Yes, it really did take me that long to figure out that very simple math problem. I guess I just wasn't doing it mathematically, but trying to sort of figure out how much faster I'd need to run to make the 3 miles in half and hour. Silly, I know.

Anyway, it was killer. I was so entirely bored and tired of running, and panting up a storm that I really couldn't wait until the time was over. All said and done, though, I only ran for a mile and a half, but not in a row. 3/4 mile at once and then a five-minute walk followed by another 3/4 mile.

What I don't understand is that the next day of the Couch Potato to 5K program calls for 20 minutes of running. That's more than TWICE what I did today! With no walking in between! You'd think they'd at least do a set with less walking in between before hoisting me right into the 20 minute run. Am I missing something? Am I reading this chart wrong?

In other running news, I convinced my seventeen-year-old daughter Bard to start the program, so pretty soon, I'm going to start the program all over again, only with her beside me. We'll do this either on my off days with Kim or in the evenings. Bard is most definitely NOT a morning person.

And in other weight news, I realized that the last time I weighed myself prior to my previous post was here. Two week ago. So while I'm not losing as much as I'd hoped, I've lost two pounds in two weeks, which is pretty darn good, considering that I could really eat an entire raw cow on some days. Seriously. That's how hungry I feel.

Which brings me to my next point; for some reason I've been really having problems with food the past couple of weeks. I'm just terribly hungry. I eat a huge salad. Still hungry. Down a 1/2 pound of beef with onions. Hungry. Scarf several pieces of pizza. Hungry yet still. The only thing that seems to satisfy me lately is a big bowl of ice cream or a piece of pecan pie. Today I just wanted a candy bar. The whole day. I mean, my mind was completely and totally focused on NOT having a candy bar. To the point of obsessing about it! Generally, I'm not a candy-eater, but I really, really, really want a candy bar lately. Whassupwitdat?

It makes me frustrated to the point of believing I'll never actually lose the weight I want to lose. And once I do? How do I keep it off?

Argh. Quite frustrating.

Couch Potato to 5K: Week 5, Day 1

Stepping on the scale this morning may have been a mistake. I don't know how accurate the scale is (one woman told me that she's seen people adjust it if they think it's not set right), but according to it, I've lost two pounds since I last weighed myself. I was really hoping for more, but I also know that I haven't been very careful with my eating this past week. I can't seem to help it. I'm just so HUNGRY! I've been craving protein more and more, like a great big chopped steak, but I don't tend to have those things around the house. I have been trying to watch my portion sizes, but sometimes it's hard. And this weekend, we ate chicken and jo-jos--FRIED FOOD!

Still, I've avoided soda and juices entirely and I've cut down on my ice cream consumption. When I'm as hungry as I've been, I simply can't see stuffing myself with a salad. I want SUBSTANCE! I want FLAVOR! I want something with CHEESE or CREAM or FAT. And if you can fry it up, that's all the better.

I really have changed my eating habits, though. No fast food, nary a french fry, no candy and chips lying around the house. I know that I've changed my eating habits, because, while I use to rid my car of fast food bags and soggy drink cups, I now remove yogurt containers, apple cores and banana peels.

So I'm down to 172, which still makes me sick, but at least I'm going somewhere with it. Right? Right?!?

This morning, we started Week 5 of the program. It went like this:

Brisk five minute walk (3.8 mph)
Run for 5 minutes (5.6 mph)
Walk for 3 minutes (3.8)
Run for 5 minutes (5.6)
Walk for 3 minutes (3.8)
Run for 5 minutes (5.6)

Cool down with 3.8 walking for a while, then about five minutes of 2.5 walking. It wasn't too terribly bad, but the last 5 minutes had me panting pretty good.

The next session is supposed to be:

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:
Jog 3/4 mile (or 8 minutes)
Walk 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
Jog 3/4 mile (or 8 minutes)

But I may just stay on the 5 min/3 min thing until next week, unless I really feel like pushing myself.

One thing I can very clearly see is that I'm not going fast enough. The running/walking intervals were supposed to take me to 2.5 miles today, and I was just at 2.5 when I was finished, including my warmup and cooldown. So I guess if I want to hit this thing, I need to pick up the pace a bit.

We'll see what I feel up to doing tomorrow.

A Lovely Birthday Celebration

I have so many reasons to be thankful, I'm not sure you have the time to read them all, so I'll condense and spread them all out over the next few days or so.

It's been a long time since my now-seventeen-year-old daughter Bard and I went out on a girls' day out together, so I decided that I would treat her to a whole day of shopping, dining and enjoying each other's company for her birthday. Since she had choir on Saturday (her entire choir sang Happy Birthday with full harmonies. Beautiful!), we were already going to be in the Big City, so I arranged for Bo to take care of the necessities at home, including delivering soup to Houdin's 30-Hour-Famine fast and delivering pizzas in the evening, and we took the day off to go play.

What a fun day we had! Lunch at Panera; over to the ritzy pet boutique to ogle over the puppies; shopping at Target, Sam's Club and Kohl's; a movie--Music and Lyrics with the witty and loveable Hugh Grant (with no popcorn--we both exercised very strong willpower and were thankful for it. Movie popcorn ALWAYS makes me sick); dinner at The Waffle House, where I scored a free coffee mug, just for asking; and we hung out at Borders until it was just about closing time; and then we drove home. We took our time all day long, enjoyed each other's company, laughed a lot, and it was wonderful.

Thank you, Bard, for such a fine time. I'm so glad we got to do that!

::: she was sixteen, going on seventeen :::

Seventeen years ago today, I was only beginning to know the pleasure of the person we call "Bard." She was a gift, an amazing present, and I have treasured her daily. Her mind has always astounded me, from the way she memorized entire movies at four, to the way she began reading at an early age, to the way she always uncomplainingly gives her time to accomplish family goals. She's driven and motivated, does her learning entirely on her own. She's beautiful, talented, intelligent and, most of all, very funny. I will continue to embrace every day with her as she grows closer to adulthood.

God bless you, Bard. I know He has blessed me with you.

Drop by her xanga to wish her a happy birthday, if you like. If you can, tell her what you remember about being seventeen, what you worried about, what you thought about. It will be very helpful to her on this birthday that she's really not all that thrilled about having.

Snow Day

I hit the snooze button four times before the phone rang. I figured it would be Kim calling to see if we were going to hit the treadmill today, but it was the forensics coach, Carol, asking me if I'd registered for the next tournament. Unless I'd registered in my sleep somewhere between the first alarm and the last snooze-button-slap, the answer was no.

Wide awake with concern that I'd missed registering the kids for their events, I fumbled my way through booting up the computer and navigating to the tournament registration site. It was then that I looked out the window and saw the accumulation of snow. Not only was there a thick, gorgeous blanket of white all over the hillside, but the sky was scattered with snowflakes. I knew immediately that it would be a cozy-up-at-home kind of day.

Cancelled running. Cancelled piano lessons. Forfeited my trip to the grocery store. Sent Bo to the bank in the 4-wheel-drive.

Me? I stayed home. In my jammies. And my slippers. All. Day. Long. Registered the kiddoes successfully ($162 in tournament fees?!? I need to do a fundraiser and fast!), very distantly oversaw Houdin's making of lunch (taco dip. ayum), made a delicious comfort food, listened to piano practicing, watched the kids dress up for snow fun and then head back in again, drank a cup of Houdin's homemade hot cocoa, cuddled with the doggies and kids, and read, read, read.

With our schedule being what it's been--forensics, algebra, worldview, chemistry, drama, choir, piano, church, youth group, fundraisers, social events, life in general--some of our Ambleside subjects have fallen by the wayside. Not forgotten. Just put on hold. It's the read-alouds, really, and we do have a lot of them.

So a good portion of today was spent curled up with kids all around listening to Mama read. The Kon Tiki Expedition. Madame How and Lady Why. A Tree in the Trail. An Island Story. Fifty Famous Tales. This Country of Ours. And this evening, we will finish the most recent chapter of Gone-Away Lake. I'd liked to have read more, but for some reason I get incredibly tired when I read aloud and feel the very impending need for a nap. So I broke it up in bits and read in different spots.

It was definitely a sedentary day.

And now my dear children are waiting for me to watch the play they've prepared.

What do you do on snow days?

Our Animals

Donna over at Quiet Life asked readers to tell about our animals. If there's one thing we have plenty of in this family, it's pets. Somehow we have become the central adoption center for all unwanted pets within a fifty-mile radius. Currently in our pet-friendly family, we are home to:

~Three goats
~Seven rats
~Three turtles
~An indoor cat
~Seven outdoor cats
~A dozen or so chickens
~An iguana
~A potbellied pig
~Two rabbits
~A parakeet
~And five dogs, four of whom have been rescued from less-than-happy homes.

Our latest adoptee is a sweet five-year-old female Jack Russell Terrier named Scarlett who isn't quite sure about the housetraining thing yet. She's doing well, has taken wonderfully to her crate and understands the use of the dog door, but she was apparently given her former house as her potty or was kept inside/locked up for extended periods, because she seems to think that rugs and other soft objects are her private potty places. Thank goodness for hardwood floors, and she is, indeed, getting much better. And I think, after work and training, she will be a wonderful friend.

Our animals are part of our family. We welcome them, protect them, enjoy them and include them. Wherever there is a child, you will see an animal close behind: a cat wandering along the path or stretching out on a lap; a dog bounding along beside a bicycle or a sled or a group of explorers; a rabbit or chicken in the arms of a visitor; baby animals surprising us on a Spring morning. Animals are part of our education. They add discipline to our days and compassion to our hearts. They enrich our lives.

What role do animals play in your life?

Couch Potato to 5K: Week 4, Day 2

Kim and I met at the gym and decided to begin with a stretching session. We haven't been stretching beforehand at all, but going right into it with a five-minute brisk warm-up walk.

After the stretch and the five-minute walk, we did our Week Four intervals. This was my second day of doing Week Four and Kim's first, but she'd gone to the gym alone and done a higher-paced Week Three day, so she was ready for this.

Our intervals went like this:

Five Minute brisk warm-up walk at 3.8 mph
Three minute jog at 5.2 mph
90 second walk at 3.8 mph
Five minute jog at 5.3 mph
2.5 minute walk at 3.8 mph
Three minute jog at 5.3 mph
90 second walk at 3.8 mph
Five minute jog at 5.3 mph

That took us to 24 minutes total and a little over 2 miles, so we walked 3.8 mph for the rest of the 5K (3.1 miles) and then walked at 2.5 mph for the remainder of our hour. Then we did some cool-down stretching and experimented with an ab machine.

That second three-minutes was very tough for me--much tougher than the first five minutes. The last five minutes was pretty tough, too, and around four minutes, I felt nausea coming on, but pushed past it. Yeah, I feel like a wimp, but considering that the nausea used to come at 45 seconds, I'm thrilled to be to this place.

We're going to try to push ahead to Week Five next week. Can we do it?

I'm willing to wager. ;-)

Thirsty for Worship

I hadn't realized how important praise and worship music is to me until I was standing there fighting the tears.

The church we attend is a very small Mennonite church. When I say very small, I mean that regular attendance equals less than 100 people each Sunday and there are only a handful of teens in the youth group. Please don't think I'm complaining. I like it this way. I've been to mega-churches many times, and it's just not my cup of tea. Give me a little chapel with a nice blend of children and old ladies, regular carry-ins, a pastor who knows my name, and I'll be a happy church-goer.

We chose this church after a very long search for several reasons. First, my good friend Linda invited us and made us feel very welcome. Second, the youth group is small, so even though there are only three homelearning families, we're majority. Third, the people are very friendly and made us feel welcome right from the start.

We stayed for several reasons, too. I'm a pacifist. I'm pro-life across the board. I believe that our energy is better spent on serving others than fighting others. I believe that Jesus was a pacifist. I believe that He called us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. After all, when Jesus was being led to his death and Peter chopped off the ear of the high priest's servant, Jesus stopped the fighting, picked up the ear and healed His attacker. The lessons I hear on Sunday morning encourage me in this path. It's not an easy one, especially in the Christian community where pro-Bush bumper-stickers dot many of the vehicles of my fellow homelearners. The Mennonite church espouses the sanctity of all life, and the importance of stewardship of our environment, and the servitude we're called to give to all the world.

We also stayed because we have been continually made to feel welcomed. We've been included in everything from youth group functions to soup suppers to the vote for the new pastor.

And that's what this Sunday entailed.

One of the biggest challenges about staying at this church is that it's a body in transition. While we came in after the big scuffle, apparently the church was divided over what direction they should take. Cling tightly to Mennonite traditions or venture into more contemporary ways? Reach out to the community to draw in more members or adhere to a cliquish mentality? Stay with traditional hymns or enter into contemporary praise and worship? From what I know, the previous pastor wanted to venture, reach out, enter in to the contemporary. Eventually, because there was so much division, he left his position and an interim pastor was assigned.

Now, our pastoral candidates are a young couple, under 30, who would serve as both pastor (the husband) and assistant pastor (the wife), he fulfilling 75% of the pastoral duties, she filling the remaining 25%.

I don't know if it was necessarily because this Sunday was the voting Sunday (they call it "affirmation," but it's basically a vote), or if it just happened to fall this way, but a group of students from Bluffton University presented our Sunday service.

Wow.

The contemporary praise and worship was something I knew I'd been missing, but I hadn't realized how much. I hadn't realized that I'd really been held back, worshiping in a service where no one raises their hands, no one claps--either in praise or as applause for either God or the musicians, no one seems to be filled with JOY when they worship. Instead, it seems that worship is planned and regimented, that there is a focus on singing in parts instead of singing with the heart.

But seeing those Bluffton students sing, seeing them lift their hands, the joy on their faces, the beauty of their voices. Oh! My soul was thirsty for that! And I could barely control the tears.

I know that there are some in the congregation who don't prefer that type of worship. But for me, it was a balm. I do hope we can incorporate more of it, because I'm not sure how long I can continue being a part of a church that holds back so much in their worship time.

When the votes came in, there was 100% agreement on the new pastors. I do look forward to seeing where they'll take us, finding if they'll breathe new and exciting life into this body of believers.

I know that this body and soul really needs it.

::: a book :::

He ate and drank the precious words,
His spirit grew robust;
He knew no more that he was poor,
Nor that his frame was dust.
He danced along the dingy days,
And this bequest of wings
Was but a book. What liberty
A loosened spirit brings!

~Emily Dickinson

::: homekeeping meme :::

Aprons - Y/N? If yes, what does your favorite look like?

Yes. I love aprons. Aprons are things I have to be very careful about not over-buying because I just get this magical nostalgic feeling when I see a good one. I have several favorites for different purposes. I have a few long green chef's aprons for when I'm dressed for guests but still cooking. I have a grey apron with a handtowel attached, given to me by my mother-in-law, that I use for everyday. I have several vintage aprons that I've collected, and also a few that the girls and I have given to us by my mother-in-law from her mother-in-law's things.

Baking - Favorite thing to bake: Quiches, pizzas and cheesecakes.

Clothesline - Y/N? I have one at our cabin, but not up here at the house. I'm lobbying hard for one, but my husband hasn't quite caught the vision. I keep trying to tell him that hanging out linens is THE ONLY way to eliminate dust mites. Maybe this summer I'll get one. When I lived at the cabin, I really felt a strong connection to my clothesline. That right there? May have been the lamest thing I've ever said.

Donuts - Have you ever made them? Oh, yes. Greasy donuts are a weakness of mine, but I have tried to steer clear of them since I've been running. Bo taught us how to make donuts using storebought biscuit dough. Not gourmet, but interesting.

Every day - One homemaking thing you do every day: Putz around, cleaning and wiping things.

Freezer - Do you have a separate deep freeze? Yes, but I would love to have another. One for meats and one for veggies and breads.

Garbage Disposal - Y/N? Several. They're called dogs, cats, goats, pig, chickens, children, husband, father, rats, rabbits...

Handbook - Home Comforts.

Ironing - Love it or Hate it? I'm kinda in-between. I like ironing once I get it started, but we don't really have a lot that needs ironed.

Junk Drawer - Y/N? We call it a "tool drawer," thankyouverymuch.

Kitchen - Color and decorating scheme? Natural Hickory (top) and milk-paint cabinets in hunter green (bottom) with a bisque on the walls. Lots of wood. White and green dishes. Above cabinets changes seasonally.

Love - What is your favorite part of homemaking? When things are absolutely organized and clean and I'm baking or cooking something and someone just happens to stop by.

Mop - Y/N? No. I clean on my hands and knees, then I can get the baseboards, cupboards, etc.

Nylons - Dont' really wear them.

Oven - Do you use the window or open the door to check? Open the door.

Pizza - What do you put on yours? Feta, onions, fresh garlic, olive oil, spinach, fresh basil and oregano, mozzarella, homemade sauce, and whatever else happens to be around. Pizza-making is a creative experience. It's an art!

Quiet - Cook or bake, check e-mail, read either to myself to or the kids.

Recipe card box - Y/N? What does it look like? I have a drawer, a shelf full of cookbooks and two notebooks that need some more organizing.

Style of house - What is the style of your house? Greek revival farmhouse, two-story, white with green shutters and a porch on two sides.

Tablecloths and napkins - Y/N? If Sweetheart is around, yes. She always gets everyone a napkin.

Under the kitchen sink - Organized or toxic wasteland? Ick.

Vacuum - Right now, our vacuum is broken, so it's few and far between when I can borrow a vac. Since we have wood floors all over the main floor, it gets swept daily.

Wash - How many loads of laundry do you do per week? I could never even take enough time to count. Dozens.

X's - Do you keep a list of things to do that you cross off? Oh, yes. Definitely. I'm a list-maker.

Yard - Y/N? Who does what? Dearest Bo does the mowing, I do the landscaping/gardening, he and boys do the tilling, kids and I do the weeding, I do the dreaming. :-)

Zzz's - What is your last homemaking task before going to bed? Putzing and tidying. I like to see the kitchen cleaned so I can awake to a clean kitchen. It gets me down if it's messy in the morning.

I tag PeacefulLady, Impromptu Mom, SewDuck's Jill, Diane from Circle of Quiet and Donna from Quiet Life.

I'd really like to tag ALL of my readers, so let me know if you do this so I can go see what you wrote!

Couch Potato to 5K: Week 4, Day 1

I wish I could get myself as motivated to go running BEFORE I do it as I feel AFTER I've done it. I think this is a cruel joke that God has decided to play on us humans. Okay, I don't really think that; I honestly don't think God is cruel, but still, I wonder why He, in His infinite wisdom, made it so that we have more energy after we've done aerobic activity than we have before.

For whatever reason, every morning, I have to convince myself that I really do need to go running, that it's no okay to skip a day, that I don't have more important things to do (like checking my e-mail seventy-eight times), and that I can actually achieve the goal I've set for myself before I'll get myself out of bed and on my way to the trail or the gym (I keep typing "trial" instead of "trail." Does that mean something?)

Today was another one of those days.

But when I finally made it to the gym, I determined to kick myself into gear and go for Week Four of the Couch Potato to 5K program I'm trying to kill myself with master. Week Four looks like this:


Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:
Jog 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
Walk 1/8 mile (or 90 seconds)
Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
Walk 1/4 mile (or 2-1/2 minutes)
Jog 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
Walk 1/8 mile (or 90 seconds)
Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)

That's two miles of running/walking plus a five minute warm-up and a five minute cool-down. And I did it. It's out of the way. Two more of these babies, and I could, conceivably, move on the Week Five.

It really wasn't all that hard. I did a 3.8 mph warmup walk for five minutes, then I intervaled with 5.1 mph jogs and 3.8 mph walks. I cooled way, way down with a 2.5 mph cooldown, so it all totalled out to a little over 3 miles and it took about 45 minutes, including the warm-up and cool-down.

I'm worried that using the treadmill is easier than hitting the trail (it's been too cold to run outside) and that, when I get to the trail, it will be harder and I'll have to work myself back up to where I think I am.

Ah, well. I guess I'll just work towards my goal and get there when I get there.

Anyone else running with me?

That's for me...

I wasn't sure I wanted to run today. I just feel apathetic about it. So I was wasting my time putzing around on the computer, preparing for an upcoming workshop when I read this:

"Stick with me, friends. Keep track of those you see running this same course, headed for this same goal. There are many out there taking other paths, choosing other goals, and trying to get you to go along with them. I've warned you of them many times; sadly, I'm having to do it again. All they want is easy street. They hate Christ's Cross. But easy street is a dead-end street. Those who live there make their bellies their gods; belches are their praise; all they can think of is their appetites."

I'm heading to the gym, now...

First Tournament of the Year!

Last year was the first that the Thicket kids competed in a forensics tournament, and while the preparation season was grueling, the competitions themselves were a flurry of excitement and good times.
This year, sixteen-year-old Bard (right, puzzling over current technology) and fifteen-year-old Houdin (left, appearing behind his perplexed sister) are competing in both debate and speech. In addition, younger siblings Monet (11) and Sweetheart (7) are experiencing their first forensics season.
Some highlights of the tournament:

Houdin discovered the attention-getter that was the windows overlooking the narthex. The narthex was the central meeting place for all of the the clubs who gathered for the Christian Communicators of Ohio (CCO) Tournament. Houdin decided to use the overlooking windows as his personal stage, garnering the attention of competitors young and old. His performance did not escape the attention of the tournament gurus who posted signs on the windows announcing that "these windows are not for your amusement." Darn. I wish I knew whose amusement they were for. I'd love to be that guy.

Bard was a bit bummed because she didn't place in an Individual Events (speech) category. Last year, she placed third for her Programmed Oral Interpretation (POI) at one of the tournaments and made it to the final round with either her POI or her prose piece at each tournament. But this year, she focused a lot of attention on her novice debating skills and her Duo Humorous Interpretive (H-Duo) piece (a funny piece performed with a partner), not paying as much attention to her POI. While she was disappointed to not place in an IE event, her hard work on the Debate front paid off. She was awarded second place Novice Speaker. Rumor has it that her team also placed second, going 3 and 1 in her rounds and beating the first place team during the round they debated them.
It was hard work for Sweetheart to get up in front of people she didn't know and present a memorized, creatively interpreted piece three times. She had a hard time getting started the first and second time, but by the third time, she was a pro. You can see her in the photo to the left right beneath the cross. All junior speakers were awarded a bag of candy for their participation. Sweetheart was happy to share hers with those who weren't juniors.

Monet worked hard on his piece, too, but the prose category is really competitive, with lots of speakers entered. While his ballots had very good markings, he didn't place in this tournament. We're working hard to improve what the judges thought needed improving, and he's polishing his piece so that he can do even better for the upcoming second tournament. Next time, Monet. Next time.
But the big, very fun, surprise was the H-Duo category. This has been the hottest, most talked-about category of the season. Houdin and his partner, Sam, are performing a piece from Adventures in Odyssey;they've filled it with hilarious voices, great facial expressions and a thought-provoking message. For their work, they placed SECOND in the H-Duo category! In the photo to the left, you can see Houdin and Sam (second and third from the right) looking shocked and surprised at their own success, having gone up against some really good pieces. Again, we're already working on improving their piece so that they might be able to take it to First Place at the next tournament.

Way to go, speakers! You're all just amazing for working so hard and doing so well.

Couch Potato to 5K: Week 3, Day 2

My new hobby is chatting with other runners. I don't really mean to do this; somehow, it just happens. For instance, I was at our first speech tournament of the year this past weekend (update on that later) and I sat down to chat with my son's debate partner's mother. Turns out that she ran her first marathon last summer and has been running since she was in high school. She encouraged me to keep running, reminded me how good it is for me, promised me that there will come a time when I won't want to die every time I run.

Thursday morning was not one of those times.

I decided to go running on Thursday because I knew we'd be at the tournament all weekend and I likely wouldn't have time or opportunity to take a jog. Once I was on the track, I decided to move on up to the next level of the Couch Potato to 5k. Week Three. 90 seconds running, 90 seconds walking, 3 minutes running, 3 minutes walking. It. Was. Torture. I'm not going to lie about it. I was panting, praying, and coming thisclose to dying.

But live I did. I did intervals for 33 minutes and was on the trail for a total of 50 minutes.

More than actually stay alive, I actually felt good when I was finished. AND I felt good enough that I went running again today. Kim and I braved the weather and, er...um...visited the health club again. What? Stop looking at me like that. I know I said I really love the outdoors and don't mind running in the cold, but it was BELOW ZERO this morning! That's, like, BELOW ZERO! They called school off everywhere! I may be insane, but I'm not crazy.

So we did the treadmill thing, and we decided to do the Week 3 thing together.

And I actually didn't want to die while I was on the treadmill. You know what else? It really wasn't all that hard! Now, I may not have run as fast as I could have, and I didn't have to brave the cold, but I actually did the intervals and didn't want to gnaw my own leg off.

We did 35 minutes of intervals and 60 minutes of exercise total.

And you know what else? Kim talked me into standing on the scale again. And I'm at 174! Yeah me! That means that I have less than forty pounds to go to reach my target weight, and it means that I actually HAVE lost weight! Especially considering that I weighed in at 185 last time I stepped on the scale.

I'm thankful for encouragement. This is almost addictive, now. While I may want to die again in the future, for now, Kristi's right--I'm actually enjoying it!

WHERE IS EVERYONE?

It's like a ghost town here! Have you all gone to a big Blogging party and forgotten to invite me?

The quiet has me disquieted. Goodness gracious...SAY something!